I have recently shifted to New Delhi due to my profession, since then I
am staying all alone at a small rented room as a paying guest. Every
night I started thinking about my past life especially my childhood,
family, schooldays, friends and many more.
A moment of retrospection some
happy and some not so. And coincidently it happens to be my birthday
next week. If only my wallet is that thick enough I could have offer you
all with cakes and sweets but these few events of my past and present
life is all I can offer you all.
I hope you all at least gone through
this writing though it might sound boring.
I grew up in a well educated middle class family. My childhood was
totally independent not very strict. My father was working as a lecturer at
DM College of Science, Imphal teaching physics and my mother working at
District Commissioner office ( DC Office) Imphal, she is still working
there.
I have one brother who is also eldest and one elder sister who
has recently settled down in Pune. Both of them are working civil
engineer. I have one younger sister who is also youngest in our family who
recently got married and she is working at a private firm though she is
trained as a microbiologist.
And I am the last one but not the least but
I should confess honestly I am the so called black sheep of my family.
My childhood was in a way disastrous comparatively. In spite of my good
academic background and talents I flunked matric exam many times. I was
always wronged person in wronged time all the time.
Anyway I should
also mention I will not be what I am if I am not those ways. My childhood
was bucket of full of unthinkable and undoable things. If I get an
opportunity I will definitely confess everything to you all.
My early childhood was though not very special but in a way eventful
because of mainly of independency from my parents. I remembered playing
hide and seek at the local bushes and among bamboos, football at a local
school ground which was muddy all year long, swimming in the ponds,
catching fish and many more.
I was drowned once but fortunately a friend
of mine who was an expert swimmer saved my life. Come summer, a month
long vacation, total freak out, munching green mangoes, catapult small
birds, compulsory fever or dysentery. The pungent smell of small green
mangoes still fresh to me.
Autumn, then come Durga Puja, five days of
camping with my friends at a makeshift camp, stealing fruits and
vegetables at night from the other's camp, feasting and of course crackers.
Winter again, time to juvenile gambling, marbles, empty cigarettes packs
and many more game.
Then Holi (Yoashang) another five days of colors and
junk food, pocket thick from the begging and snatching from the elders
forcefully. And so one by one Rath Yatra (Kang), Krishna Janmasthami
with water ball, buying toys, feeding and teasing monkey at Mahabali
temple premises.
Those were the best moment of my life, happy go lucky
phase. If God give me a chance to go back to my past life, I will
definitely choose those phases.
Later phase of my life I grew up semi matured, most of the time hanging
around with local elders. Watching martial arts movies at Imphal
talkies and Usha cinema halls. Then come the saddest part of my life, my
father past away at an early age.
He was just forty seven. An alcoholic, not
even a single day I remembered him without intoxicated. But he was such a
simple man, not abusive at all, soft and gentle, exceedingly brainy,
well educated, academically brilliant, expert in physics subject and
reading literature a lot.
But his alcoholism leads at the negativity of
life. In fact he ended his short life because of this habit. Not even a
single day pass by without cherishing him on his old bicycle.
I occasionally saw him vaguely on a rainy day wet on his old bicycle. Wherever he
is may his soul rest in peace.
So here I am now getting older revisiting and retrospection of life,
not knowingly where my destiny will be. Watching my mother whom I adored
most getting older and counting the lines on her face wondering one day
she will fade away too.
How she struggled after my father expiry for
all of us. How can I forget the aroma of green chilies and fermented fish
she prepared for me most of the time. In fact she is one good example
of a typical brave Manipuri woman.
Witnessing my nephew grow up.
Cherishing past memories. Besides all these I am still a bachelor, over aged,
in and out of love.
If you ask me, this is one of my regrets in life
for not getting married in time. I didn't actually plan or deliberately
do it but it happens like. Let me summarize the usual way life's like
that.
Let me wind up for now with these few lines from the legendary British
psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd ,
" When you run, when you run.
You catch up with the sun but it's sinking.
Wasting aroung to come up behind you again.
The sun is same in a relative way but you are older.
Shorter of breathe.
One day closer to death."
(This write up is purely based on my personal life. Anyone living or
dead other than my near dear ones are not related. If so it was totally
coincidental.)"
Alberto Mangsatabam, a resident of New Delhi, writes regularly to e-pao.net
You can email the writer at [email protected]
This article was webcasted on 28th October 2005.
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