"I married a guy whom I love. As we were sure about our relationship, we lived together before marriage"- Khushboo

"Marriage seems to be the last thing on the Indian youth`s mind. Sex, the first. Or so say our films"- Pooja Tolani

India is traditionally known for her unique culture and ethics right from the historical period; though isolated she is to a large extent in her evolution and also individual in her life and development.

She is also known for her many beliefs and superstitions. In regard to marital life, sexual relationships were on communal basis during seasonal festivals when young men and women of various tribes met and danced together.

At present, as far as Indian women are concerned, their status is pretty low comparing to western country. Freedom of __expression and choice has certain limitations among the women, although the constitution grants equality irrespective of caste, creed, color or sex. However, because of fast social change and advancement in science and technology, people`s valued systems and concepts also change dramatically.

By his advanced knowledge particularly in medical sciences man is confronting God every day, sometimes enabling thousands of misfits to survive God-ordained death and to produce of more and more eccentric offspring. A young girl whom I know very well, who is only reading in class X standard eloped recently with one boy, who is also X1 standard only.

We deem it them very immature and unreasonable of this incident. Thus, out of her mother’s care and love, we fetched her back home rather forcibly. However, the very next day she ran back to her boyfriend and left one chit for her mom.

Her letter runs as follows; "Dear Mom, I love so very much and that’s why I came with you as you assured me that I can go back tomorrow. I know you care for me and love me but I have no choice. It’s my life so, just let it be! I’ll try my best and of course, our love is going to be forever and we’re going to die together.

And I am happy with him. So, let`s pray to the Almighty.. Everything is in His hand. And I promise that I’ll never trouble you again. I am sorry for all those trouble, burden that I gave you.

Hope you’ll forgive me. Mother, I live my life for him. I love him. He’s my world. Mom, I don`t want to let you down OK! Be happy..! And whatever happens to me let it be. I know it’s my fault! Forgive me mother! I love you..."

Today, artificial insemination, test-tube babies and cryogenic prolongation of life etc are new techniques unknown to the so-called prophets of God. Whether religious leaders approve it or not, the time may come when the government will create separate department or office of human breeding which will decide who and who can be licensed to procreate children.

Even the misfits will have the freedom to enjoy sex in the near future of permissive society. Not surprisingly, Khushboo’s, a well known celebrity and an actor of Bolly-wood, statements on pre-marital sex four years ago still reverberate across the country and make the Vishwa Hindu Parisad shivering and running down their spine and also confusing certain section of peoples! Her statements run as follows, "Our society should liberate itself from such ideas that the brides should all be virgins at the time of marriage.

No educated man will expect his wife to be virgin at the time of marriage. But when indulging in pre-marital sex, the girl should guard herself against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases." Khushboo`s attitude towards pre-marital sex and living-together before marriage is in keeping with a path-breaking judgment delivered four years ago by the Allahabad High Court.

"In our opinion, a man and a woman, even without getting married, can live together, if they wish," the court ruled, while setting free Mr. Payal Sharma who had been detained in Agra for being involved in pre-marital sex arrangement.

The court clarified that cohabitation or living-together before marriage as not illegal, and there is a difference between law and morality. "She be set at liberty and she can go anywhere and can live with anyone as she desired." it added.

As the court stood by her (Kushboo), the political parties like PMK and Dalit Pather out of frustration whipped up an unprecedented anti-Kushboo agitation in a state where people had built temples deifying her.

In Mumbai the VHP, with a track of record of ruining many Valentine Day parties, vowed to burn her effigies in a nation wide protest alleging her as "Violator of Indian culture and ethics".

Khushboo`s episode reminds me of the joint declaration made by the Delhi Hmar-Mizo Welfare Association (DHWA) and Delhi Hmar-Mizo Christian Fellowship (DHCF) against living-together before formal marriage several months ago. However, many of them were strongly against this declaration and regarded it as naïve and unwarranted.

Living-together is non-issue here! Marriage is just a social institution and social values keep on changing according to times and situations. The real issue is to let people have their own choices. Of course, Church leaders can visit them and counsel them, if the need arises.

Those living-togetherers are grown up enough to know the consequences of what they do. Therefore let`s not be the first person to throw a stone at them. The uproar sound against the joint declaration is still music to our ears.

Speaking from the Northeastern viewpoint, particularly among the Army, and the recent press release made by the Assam rifles really sounded the AIDS/HIV alarm over its rank and file and 254 persons getting infected with the dreaded virus.

Mention may also be made here that several months back the army clarified that their men died more of AIDS than in combating the insurgency in northeast.

An official communiqué here said several steps have been taken up to check the HIV/AIDS menace. The troops have been asked to carry condoms in their bandoliers since the northeast region is identified as the most vulnerable and high risk zone for armed forces. In fact, as of now pre-marital sex is becoming like a fashion even among people here.

Thus, as Khushboo suggested that while indulging in pre-marital sex, both the girl and boy should guard themselves against pregnancy, AIDS/HIV diseases and any sexually transmitted diseases. This is indeed a very wise counsel.

In a survey recently conducted by a daily in conservative Lucknow, 50 percent of the youth there said they would prefer a live-in relationship to a marriage! The Telegraph-MODE also survey conducted among students and call centre executives between the age groups of 18-28, as many as 83 percent of the women respondent said that virginity was an overrated criterion.

The Durex Global Sex Survey 2005 revealed that one out of every four Indians didn`t find anything wrong with sex before marriage. About 56 percent of the respondents believe it is time men stopped expecting intact hymens in their brides.

A Bangalore-based non-governmental organization, Freedom Foundation, conducted a similar survey among young people employ in the software and BPO industry last year and found that 38 percent men and women believe pre-marital sex is permissible, while 25 percent say they regularly indulge in casual sex.

This take on live-in relationships is a direct result of the changing attitude of even small town youth towards sexual choices. Pre-marital sex is increasingly becoming the norm. And the youth are voicing their sexual choices openly.

In conclusion, having understood human nature, the desire for having sex and offspring cannot be checked. I am not pro or against pre-marital sex. I am just raising an issue so that people can make choices for each one of us.

As every one of us is aware, sex is only a biological function of the body like any other physiological functions. Of course, marital rules and customs differ from place to place, society to society and religion to religion.

There is nothing sacred or rigid about these rules and regulations which are connected with sex.