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E-Pao! EI - 'Love for all', that is all

'Love for all', that is all

By: Oinam Anand *


The son wants to ride his motorbike on the festival days just for the sake of riding and to make merry in the streets. He needs some money to fill in the stomach of his motorcycle with fuel and at the same time some for his pocket money.

For this demands are made to the lady, that is his beloved mother who runs the household affairs and hold the keys of income and expenditure of the home. The mother wants to see first the nodding head from her husband, the father of the son. The father intervenes, objects and nags his son with long lectures about the risks involved in riding when there is so much crowd in the street.

The son revolts, thinking that there is none who really loves him, who really cares for him. A crack surfaces as the domestic arguments between a son and a father are about to turn into a scuffle. The son goes on persisting and at last the father and the mother have to yield to the demands and with some words of caution to ride safely, to return home before dusk etc the demands of the son are met.

This is what we see in most of the families who have got sons who are in their late teens and are too early to yoke the responsibility of a family. Are the parents really nagging their son? No, it is only expressing their concern for their son which is another form of expressing their love for their child. But the son fails to see the love and care that is there beneath the surface of the words even though the words are of angry nature.

Who comes first in this world? Is it we, our physical body or our relationship with the outside world, specially with our near and dear ones? The question is not so absurd as that of the question whether an egg or a hen comes first in the world.

Answering for this question, the relationship of the man with the outside world sounds reasonable and honourable based on the deep commitment of love attached to when a child is born. Unlike other animals, a child requires love and care from the moment of its birth.

A child needs security and love from its birth based on the need of dependence, love and attachment to others. By the miracle of the almighty, this love, attachment and care are already imbibed in the hearts of the parents even before the child begins its journey for life some 10 months before it comes out to see the sun.

This is the parental love which the son who revolts for his demands to day surely comes to know when he becomes a father one day.

Coming, to the other facets or forms of 'love' other than parental love, love comes in different stages of a man's life by taking different forms, by wearing different mask. But to the question of what is love, it will be mysterious, complex, difficult and indefinable.

For this complex and undefinable nature, love is the subject of poems, stories, plays and many literary works. Plays have been penned and poetry have been written on the emotions we call 'love'. Great literary products, great art and legends would not be living today without the passion of love.

There would be no Dr Kamal's 'Madhavi' or Anganhal's 'Jahera' if the elements of love which web through these classic novels have been taken out. There would be no 'Othelo' no 'Romeo and Juliet' if there is no love. Of course love covers a wide variety of feelings and shades of feelings. But to the majority, the definition of love or the strongest feeling about love is that, one should love only what one loves because one loves it, a selfish in love naturally.

'Selfish in love is the best form of love' says Jennifer Hautman, a spiritual leader. In his words self-love is the supreme of all love. If you don't love yourself first, you have no love to give. If you truly put yourself first in love, nurture yourself, honour what you want and make your happiness the number one priority, you are better equipped to love others. Love deeper.

We love others to the degree we love ourselves. These words of the spiritual leader mean to possess self-love in order to give love to others in full. But on the contrary, this possessiveness or say selfishness in love makes a man care for himself and runs all of his life for his 'all for love'.

Forgetting that life is short and temporary man hunts for wealth only for his loved ones. And in so doing fails to hear the voices from the other corners which say that there are others who also want to be loved and to be cared for.

This selfishness in love, if used in a boarder sense, in a universal way covering the whole spectrum of humanity, taking the whole world as living under one roof as one family and doing good for this family, then the world would have been a different place to live in.

In the end here we can put a hypothesis about selfishness in love or self-love - If the elected representative, who run the Govt take care of the people as that of the father who is deeply concerned about the safety of his son, if the contractors who build the roads and bridges make that road and bridges as if it is for his sons, daughters, lovers to tread on, if the employees who work in the office do perform their duty just like they do care for their own child, if the teachers teach the students as if they are teaching their own sons and daughters based on the above theory of selfishness in love or what we called self-love then we can conclude that this form of love is the best.


Oinam Anand wrote this article for The Sangai Express
This article was webcasted on May 02nd, 2006

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