Forgetting the essence of conversation
- Hueiyen Lanpao Editorial :: November 09 2011 -

Decades back when we were young, we recollect our elders sitting around a meiphu during winter evenings engaged in deep conversations for hours together well into the night.

The sounds emanating from their conversation had a soothing quality, the slow rhythmic modulations of their voices broken every once in a while by sudden eruption of laughter, it was so pleasing to the ears. Many a times, listening to those soothing voices which at times were as good as a lullaby, put us to sleep.

When we recollect those moments now, what comes across as very striking was the attentiveness and total involvement with which these elders listened to one another.

Again, when we look around us now, at how people interact with one another, we cannot but help marvel at the naturalness of those conversations, of the mutual give and take.

Rarely do we recollect any one individual trying to dominate the proceedings or someone trying to jump in into the others' recounting of an event, an anecdote or holding forth on some issue of importance. Contrast this with the present scenario.

Humans, as they are bound to, still interact with one another, they talk to one another but there seems to be hardly any conversation taking place.

By conversation here, we mean a sincere exercise of give and take between individuals, where the people engaged in such an exercise have not just the patience to listen to the other's point of view but assimilate it in his way of understanding a particular issue or even his world view.

These days we find that most people seem to have forgotten the art of listening. Of course present society has undergone tremendous changes and is no way like the society of yore.

Rapid urbanization has taken place within these few decades, there has been a sea change in our lifestyle, earning a livelihood, pursuing a career has become immensely taxing, cost of living has gone up many fold etc. A slow paced leisurely lifestyle is no longer possible, every individual is constrained for time, has very little time of his own.

Most of his time belongs to his employer, and then there is the family to look after, a little for the immediate society he or she is part of. All these leave the individual very little time to engage in meaningful conversation marked by sincere give and take.

Add to this is the rampant individualism and the highly pervasive cynicism all around, few prepared to pause a moment to ponder if the other person has something significant to say.

With each firmly convinced about the correctness of his views, of his understanding of issues, there is hardly any dialogue or a conversation, it is more of let me speak and you listen–panel discussions on TV channels being a perfect example of this.

This is truly ironic, given the fact that right from schools the present generation was taught the virtues of listening to the other person, of respecting what the other persons has to say.

They say with the advancement in Information Technology world has shrunk, it has become a global village.

But the distance between individuals, between groups and between nations seems to be increasing. Turn our heads anywhere, in our locality, within the state, at the national level and in international scenario, instances of such widening gap abound.

Individuals, groups, nations are perpetually trapped in their beliefs, in their notions of rights, self interest etc. Everybody preaches conversation, dialogue, give and take but few seem to believe in it.

How we wish we are transported back to the days of a soiree around a meiphu in wintery nights of yore.