Comment Eshanou

You are here: Home » leisure » essays » Comment on Manipuris in Capital city

E-Pao! Essay - No right or wrong morale - Personal Decision

No right or wrong morale - Personal Decision
Comment on "Status of Manipuris in Delhi"

By: Eshanou *

I read this article several times, analysed it by putting myself in the writer's and the many other's shoes who are supporting and offending his views, before I sat down to write these comments. Personally I would have loved to keep it to myself and be bothered with my own work but I strongly felt that its time we speak.

First of all, this well written piece is full of racist comments against what the writer termed as "Mayangs" , judging the whole image of the society with just a handful corrupted few. I wouldn't want to discuss how we would have reacted, if such an attacking comment has been published online towards Manipuri as a whole, by some other people from a different community. I can predict probably a huge riot!

Yet again another fanatic trying to impose morality at gun point! Yet again, the women being targeted to lift up the ruining face of the society!

I personally have many non-Manipuri friends and they are one of the best friends I have in my life. What does the writer mean by "Girls having illicit affairs with Mayangs (Non-Manipuris from Mainland India) because of some Arang-arak"???-

What right have the author got to define somebody's feelings as "illicit"; leave alone judge them to be right or wrong? A well educated Scientist, Research & Development at CSIR Lab. Govt of India, has such a narrow and barbaric opinion about something which should have been best left alone, we can imagine why our society is the way it is.

Most students go away from home at such a stage, when they are growing up physically and mentally, sinking into the world of knowledge and adventure. It is no harm at all in loving someone, liking someone and what sexual consequences followed is just something natural.

"Arang-Arak"?? They are not prostitutes, they don't get paid. Similarly, the guys who have non-Manipuri girlfriends, they are not gigolos, they don't get paid either!

There are numerous young women who have been deceived by none other than, our own gallant and loyal Meitei man. There a hundreds of man in Manipur who still gets home drunk and beats their women and we are just happy to ignore these incidents as something natural and something which is part of a married-life.

There are thousands of qualified youths who bring home a bride and reproduce children every year and still do nothing but sit at home and survive on their parent's money. Nobody is to be blamed. There are thousands of Manipuri men who has had affairs with women from the hills regions, made them pregnant and still come home for a Manipuri wife.

Why do we chose to be ignorant of the mole in our eyes and go on telling people that they have got a mole in their eyes? Let's not be ignorant and be uncomfortable thinking that my daughter or sister might have had intercourse with someone. Why don't we just accept the differences and learn to respect those differences?

In every society, there will be the good, the bad, and the ugly. A line drawn so indistinctly- thus producing people with shades of grey, apart from blacks and whites. I have had friends who have had non-Manipuri boyfriends, have lost their virginity, yet being successful in their professional lives, excelling academically, having great relationships with their families and friends. Society does not approve them of this kind of liberty, hence they keep their peace and silence until the time is ripe. But what is society, is it not us?

Need I mention that I had been attempted to be sexually molested several times, even when my body was completely covered while walking in the very streets of Imphal. I had been followed to my house several times by unknown guys and had to bear those sexual comments several times.

I had been stripped naked virtually, by many Rickshaw pullers, auto-drivers, lazy shop-keepers, handsome hunks in motor-bikes alike and had been commented on the sizes and shapes of the parts of my anatomy. We DO feel threatened, offended and molested, but shall we all agree unanimously that, just because it happened in Imphal and those words came from a Meitei's mouth they are sacred? Excuse me, they are NOT!

We have many other problems at hand, the last thing we want or can afford to do is to raise a bandwagon to look for people who is with a non-Manipuri man/woman or living-in together and punish them by making them take the walk of shame or firing bullets in their thighs, or sending them home.

Sex, love, drugs, alcohols, cigarettes are all part of a growing up process of every individual. Every man at some point or the other must have tried it and there is nothing wrong with that. Those unfortunate ones, who are addicted to it, can not be tamed or brought back to tract, by writing such articles or some moral guardians warning them to be given penalties- That will be utter barbarism!

What is important is spreading the awareness and the knowledge. Drugs addicts need to go to rehabilitation centres, not to a bullet penalty session or an interrogation session of the self acclaimed panel of people who claims to be the ideal sons and daughters of Mother Manipur.

Why should the little girls smartly and comfortably dressed in skirts be forced to wear our beloved Phaneks? Mind you, I love wearing Phaneks, and believe it to be the most glamorous piece of clothing in my wardrobe. But why are not we given a choice on what we want to do or wear? Why is it something which has to be imposed?

Why are we not left to our own reasoning and understanding that wearing Phaneks after all will benefit the economy of the Emas and Eches who are in the industry and then, give us the option to choose? Why do we have to be chained so much that once the chain is released, we go so out of control? Wearing skimpy clothes which we can't wear at home is just one of the symptoms of being released from the chain!

Being with a non-Manipuri men gives them the likely prospect of a better future, better life- being in a peaceful, developed city which she might not achieve by getting married to a Manipuri guy- why do we blame them for dreaming? We don't have any right whatsoever to judge the morale or the intensions of these people.

It is not the fault of those girls that they choose to live with or trust the intensions of the non-Manipuri men. The problem is with those men who choose to give them a name, a derogatory status, and use them for their pleasures. It has nothing to do with the society or community; it has everything to do with the person (man) involved!!! He did it; a Manipuri man would have done it, if he was equally mentally corrupted!

There is no such thing as the right morale or the wrong morale: it is all but a matter of perception. The important thing is to let people live with their own decisions and keep doing our work our own duties- our duties towards the family, our friends and the society.

May I suggest the author of the article and everyone one of us to join me in sponsoring a child for his education, or perhaps donating some books or organising some events which will help spread education and help those who are in need rather than poke our nose in somebody's personal affair.

May I also suggest each one of us to dedicate at least a week of their holidays when they go home, and volunteer to teach the children at the local school, spread them the awareness of mutual respect and respect for differences and respect for their duties and responsibilities towards themselves, their family, their community and the society. Teach them to be tolerant and empathetic, give them the choice to do what they feel is the best and then give them the means and the resources.

The problem is at the grass-root level, we can't change the mindset of a grown up man or woman- we don't have the right. We are such egoistic and high esteemed class of people that we don't have dignity of labour; we feel that working part-time as students in a fast food centre or doing a low profile job after a graduate or Master degree is a disgrace to his/her image. This concept needs to change and this change should come from within, not by force.

After having said all this, I still congratulate the author for writing such an article as it stirred a session of open-debate on this much discussed topic. I thank everyone who has raised their opinion and urge more people to give their comments.

Cheers Everybody!

Regards
Eshanou

Eshanou wrote this article to e-pao.net
You can contact this writer at [email protected]
This article was webcasted on September 19, 2006.

* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of e-pao.net. We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.