Accept Your Mortality

Bienhome Muivah *

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
-Woody Allen

Nobody wants to die, but by the time we're old enough to realize that "dead" means our pet dog won't be with us anymore, we began to come to grips with the fact that everything and everyone will eventually die, including us. As much as anything else, how we adapt to that fact will affect how we choose to live.

Many people go to enormous lengths to ignore, deny, and battle against the reality of their mortality.

The first gray hair they see, the "crow's feet," and the various aches and pains all announce that they are in fact aging even though they may still feel very young at heart.

The cosmetic industry and anti-aging products, for example, offer a little false hope that the process can be stopped, or at least postponed a bit.

Some people, usually younger rather than older, seem to want to defy death through reckless or "daring" activities, perhaps to prove that this particular rule of life does not apply to them… at least until one of their friends or heroes ends up in a casket.

Others are so fearful of death that they refuse to think about or talk about such mortality-related issues as making a will, purchasing a cemetery plot, or planning their own or anyone else's funeral-or even attending one.

Some have faith that someday technology will be able to restore life or to clone someone who has passed away. Others pretend that death can be overcome.

Ordinarily, as we age, we come to more realistic terms with our mortality. A study found, "Attitudes toward death vary, but often older adults are less anxious and more matter-of-fact about death. As they see others close to them die, they begin to accept their own mortality and tend to speak more freely about death and dying".

In addition to the process of learning by observation over time, a university of Florida study found that faith can also make a difference in how people deal with death.

As they approach death, the church going elderly are likely to find little solace in religion if they had little personal commitment to God during the rest of their lives… The study found sharp differences between people who are "intrinsically" and "extrinsically" religious.

Those with an "intrinsic religious" orientation dedicated their life to God or a higher power and reported they were less afraid of death and experienced greater feelings of well-being than people who fit into the "extrinsic religious" category of using religion for external ends, such as a way to make friend, or increase community social standing.

As we mature and internalize the reality of our own mortality, it will change us, hopefully for the better. There will be a new level of peace and we will do things differently.

We will understand that nothing in the world is permanent. The beautiful sunset, the colors of the fall leaves, the garden after a rain, and even that favorite dress or new car are only here for an instant while it lasts.

One mark of maturity is to face the future hesitant of the dying process yet confident that the one who put us here will bring us home before dark.

Wishing all the readers a fearless future!