Shanti Thokchom's Life Experiences
- Part 22 -
My good Penpal Friend

By Shanti Thokchom *

Continuing on the topic of my penfriends/pals, I want to share this story with you all. I had quite a few boys from different Sainik Schools like Satara, Goalpara, Tilaya Dam, Kapurthala etc. corresponding with me during my high school days.

I dont remember all their names, yet I do have a very special friend from those times with whom I still keep in touch. We had been writing ever since then except for a few years in between when we lost touch and did not know where we were located.

He is none other than the present Commanding Officer of Assam Rifles in Senapati District/Maram area (Manipur). This Jat Da Putar (son of Haryana state) was very studious and was very much into the NE region from a very long time.

He made so many friends and had formed a very long lasting one with another good man from Haobam Marak ( a suburb in Imphal) during his days at the the NDA, Pune and the IMA (Indian Military Academy) Dehradun. We both competed with each other as to who would write longer letters.

We were even as both of us kept up with our regular 10-15 pages. It was a wonderful exchange of ideas and lot of fun. We grew up almost together all through our teenage years and came to know each other's culture much better though our letters.

He had a very fine and good handwriting which he used it to the max when writing to me. Those days we had the blue inland letter card and he could write all of the 10 pages worth of stuffs in that one inland letter card. I used to wonder..is this Mai Ka Laal ( mom's apple of the eye) some magician or what?

I never could do that myself. After over 5 years of correspondence, he passed out from Sainik School in Kapurthala and joined the NDA which was his platform to be in the army. From there on, he went on to the IMA, Dehradun.

During one of his vacation days, he decided to visit Manipur in the mid 80s and meet his good friend from Haobam Marak ( I call him Kaka Chaoba after his little nieces and nephews call him that) and also surprise me too!!

But he really wanted to see me first so he detoured and dropped in at my Institute in Assam (Jorhat). I was well shocked because I never had any male visit me at any time in the hostel. All the gals were just curious to check .. "Who is this guy visiting our Iche (sister)?".

Many of our people always like to say that they are cousins whenever they have anyone visiting them in the hostel, I did not feel the need to do that. He was my pen-friend for over 6 years now and he had just dropped by to come see me for the first time.

My hostel warden, Ms. Gladys Banshall told me "Oi Shanti ,Tumar Dada Ahise - " in Assamese meaning - that my brother had come to meet me. I said to myself, is she kidding me or just playing tricks on me to tease me? My brothers were still toddlers at that time and it was well impossible for them to just come there out of the blue to meet me.

When I saw her being serious, then I knew it wasn't a trick. I then looked gingerly outside the window and saw a lanky guy seated on the bench. Voila!! It was my good friend who had come to surprise me!! He had grown up into a strapping guy with lean features.

I only knew him as a gawky odd ball through letters and exchange of our pictures. I was speechless but very happy though!! I was nervous too !! We had a very good talk and a lot of catching up with other stuffs in our lives. He showed me many pictures which he took during his hard training period and told me about how he has become adept at jungle survival by eating any available food there.

We were measuring our hands to test if we had grown any longer since we exchanged pictures of our hand prints through letters. It was his first time too trying to meet a gal and talking face to face. I knew many curious eyes of our hostel were directed towards us wanting to know who I was talking to and where he was from etc.

It was an awesome meeting! He left after about an hour and said that he would like to come over to my place in Manipur as he was on his way to meet his good friend and attend the Yaosang (festival of colors).

Well, I too headed home for my yearly vacation the next day. Sure enough he dragged his friend along to locate my home to pay us a visit. I told my folks that he was my unseen friend with whom I coresponded through letters. They kind of found that strange !!

But the important thing was that my friend was at my house to see us and I was very happy beyond expression!! My sister was the most charming at her best because it was 2 guys visiting us and she felt so important to be my sister!!

This friend was very humble and he did not wince to sit down on the floor with us to eat a simple meal with us. He ate Paan Thongba( yam like roots with mustard greens ) and some other stuffs my mom cooked that day. That blew my mind off!!

All along I was very anxious as to what he must be thinking about our humble dwellings which was a stark contrast to his friend's house in Haobam Marak which was a real McCoy Manipuri house!! But hey!! it made it all the more easier to breathe when I saw that he felt very comfy in that humble surroundings of my home.

He immediately made himself endearing to me and with everyone. The next day we all went for a picnic to Leimakhong. He drove a scooter and I was very nervous as it was my first time any one took me for a drive on a scooty!!!

We had a very wonderful time with them!! I could see that he really loved his visit and getting to know our people and their culture!! His friend told me that he took him to a Thabal Chongba ( a kind of Manipuri folk dance done under a moon lit night) !!

After some time, he sent me an invitation +an all expenses- paid journey to attend his wedding to his boss' lovely daughter but I was in training too in Jorhat (Assam) so I could not get the holidays for that purpose. He really wanted me to be at that important occassion of his life as he was very proud of me and felt very comfortable to pour out anything he wanted to say out loud to me!!

Well, all I could do was send him a wedding card. Then I got busier as my training got harder and had less and less time for writing letters!! We got out of touch after this and he surfaced again when I started working in Bombay. He somehow got my contact address from my siblings and tracked me down there.

I had by then lost his address too so there was no way to get in touch with him. In the early 90s, he suddenly dropped in by my hostel unannounced in Bombay while I was just getting ready to go to work. I was pissed off at him at first because its Bombay city culture that you inform first if you gonna meet someone not just drop in like that.

But on second thoughts, I gathered myself and tried to stay calm and show him around since he had come so far and made an effort to track me down in the city to say hello. My agency madam was not too happy when I asked her to give me off for that day. For her its a loss of one business day but I cajoled her to let me just have an off day one time only ,to be able to show my friend around !!!

Anyway, I was relieved to drop him off at the Bombay Central station after the city rounds!! I had too much work to do than take nay one around. The family responsibility on my shoulders weighed heavily so I just could not have that much freedom to roam around for too long. For me it was like "Aya Ram .Gaya Ram..." one come - one go...or something like that...."

And then this good fella and I lost contact again for few years. He then grabbed the golden chance to serve in the NE region when he had the opportunity. Ever since he got there, the first thing he did was to try track me down by any means.

My family had already moved elsewhere so he had a helluva time trying to locate my family. But he kept on trying and trying. By now, he had become a Commanding Officer and he had his own body guards. His assistants helped him locate my folks and immediately he set about meeting them.

My mom told me that she was damn scared when he came to meet them because of the heavy security cordon around him and all that military dress he wore. Her BP went up so high ..she told me after wards! He then took them off to lessen her fear and walked bare foot inside the house and felt very elated to have met them after years and a hectic long search by his men!!.

He could not believe my siblings had already grown up and it brought back memories of his last visit in the mid 80s!! It seems he was trying to make up for all the years that he lost contact with us all!! Now he keeps regular contact with me via email!!

He has made great efforts to invite my folks there and let them join in the Bara Khana with his family. Its so nice of him to do that. Its a great feeling to know that you come across such good friends in your life who remain true to their words!!!



More stories later ...... to be continued ...!!