Nigol
Dr. Nunglekpam Premi Devi *
I remember and how I remembered, makes too difference;
As I grow through this phase, I remembered all too,
Knowing much as I could, I am aware all too,
Ask me not a question; and knock me not down;
Wasn't I a daughter to parents? Totally, yes I was and am;
Wasn't I a sister to all my brothers and sister? Totally, yes I am is;
Wasn't I so darling to my parents? Totally, yes to them;
Didn't I so loving to my sisters? Totally, yes them to me;
Wasn't I too obedient to my brothers? Totally, yes I was to them;
What am I to them, my parent? I wonder much,
Much easier to them, I was and am a daughter so loving;
Withering away ties, time and tide, memories only last ever;
Making me carried away far and far away from them;
Institution bounds me too tight, holding by my neck;
Institution bounds them back away from me too, so socially;
Snatching me away from them, ever away, erasing;
Snatching them away from me too, ever dying;
Can't I go back to my parents? Totally no
I am not seen; I haven't had a place, so lonely;
Getting a seat to sit on upon: aren't that easy
Too strange to say a word, it's dying now and ever.
'Nigol' I am by now, 'Nigol' as I am term upon,
I hate being so call upon myself, categorically;
'Distance' I fear the most; 'trust' I worry about worst;
Leaving me all aloof, a stranger am I, 'sit' 'sit' here;
No words heard by now; No actions recognize by now,
Too emotional, hurting within the core;
I carry so heavily 'missing' each work and each action;
I release forgetting that love and affection, that brother and sister;
Memories as do I carry lots and loosing that all,
Oh! I was and I was here sleeping soundly;
I leave no word, judging all where I belong.
Can't bear much when they judge 'Nigols' within;
Equally as we grow, equally as we tame, I remembered all;
I pray don't ever Dear Brothers, Who's best? Who's richer?
I pray don't ever Dear Parents, who's nearer attaché to you?
I pray don't ever segregate amongst, who's more and more to all?
Feeling so broken inside, when you judge so darling to so lovely;
Aren't I a sister to sister? Totally yes to them;
Aren't I a sister to my brothers? Totally yes to them too;
I hate when you driven me away 'Nigol';
I hate when you see me unseen;
Life I bear is summary, daughter, sister and Nigol;
Hate me not when am I a Nigol?
* Poem written by Dr. Nunglekpam Premi Devi for Imphal Times
The writer is an Independent Scholar
This poem was webcasted on March 13 2018.
* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of e-pao.net. We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.