Ibungo nahak thoklakpa khudingi koirakooko," my best friend's mother, whom I used to call ema, said with her voice almost on the verge of breaking up. There were tears in her eyes.
As we sat down and remembered how her son -- my best friend - and OUR GANG, group of 8-9 friends, used to wreck havoc in her kitchen everytime we went to his place, she realised time had gone by and we have grown up. That day I was alone, talking to her, none of my friends were there to create chaos in her kitchen. Her son had got a green card in the US and it has been three years she hasn't seen him, ever since he got married.
"Emouduna kamdouramgadaba....." she whispered.
As we continued the conversation, I realised ema had become very sentimental or emotional, if you like. She never used to be that kind. Even a slight remark from me brought tears on her eyes. I found this uncanny similarity with my own mother and the mothers of the other friends as well. Yes, they have grown older and with age people do tend to get emotional. But to that extent? I didn't expect at all!
"Nakhoi nacha leirakanda khangani. Nacha chaonaba yoklaga nakhoina ahal oirakanda kana amatta nanakta leitrakanda nakhoisu khangani LONELINESS kari no haiba," she said wiping tears from her ageing eyes, when I asked why she had become so weak emotially, after all her son is doing well and is being admired in the locality.
Well perhaps time will tell me how does it feel, but seeing so many mothers, whom I thought were the best examples of resilience of Manipuri woman, become weak so emotionally made me feel it already.
My friend's father, being the typical Manipuri man, tried to hide his loneliness, just as my father did. But the way he and ema spoke, it was pretty clear that they have again gone back to themselves, between the two of them, to give each other company.
"Houjikti nachey singsu mayum pankhre aduna toina lakpasu ngamdre, eikhoisu aduna adum esana hingnaba hotnaba haiduni..kayam kuina bu hinglagaba...," pabung, my friend's father, remarked. He too had become emotionally weak!
Yes, he did admit the two of them always waited for that call from the US from my friend every night, just wanting to hear his and their daughter-in-law's voice. Many nights they sleep disappointed as the phone didn't ring and when they didn't expect, it really rang a pleasant surprise! In the twilight of their lives, it seems they are constantly waiting for the phone to ring.
However, being in a similar situation as my friend, I tried to explain to them that it is not that their son doesn't love them and have forgotten them. "It is just that JOB, being in a private sector, it is not that easy to even find time to call home and speak to parents. The time difference and early sleeping hours in Manipur doesn't help either. If he is here in Imphal with you, what will he do in his career?"
They agreed, as understandingly as ever...I found it easier to convince them as I have already gone through that process with my own parents...
But still they loved to hear from him and their daughter-in-law, see them as regularly as possible.
I am sure that it wasn't just the two of them but all the parents of younger generation of Manipuris who are woking somewhere or the other on this Earth.
In a way they are happy their sons and daughters are excelling in their careers. They are as proud a parent as anyone in this world, but they also feeling as lonely as it can get....They are waiting for your phone call....
pengba , a pseudonym , writes regularly to e-pao.net
You can email the writer at [email protected]
This article was webcasted on 03rd January 2005.
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