Comment W Kamei

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E-Pao! Essay - Comments on "Personal Decision by Miss Eshanou"

Comments on "Personal Decision by Miss Eshanou"
Comment on "Status of Manipuris in Delhi"

By: W. Kamei *

I feel that I cannot simply keep quiet and sit back after reading the comments by Miss Eshanou. While I agree to many of the points she mentioned, there are points which are severely damaging to my mind. In this article I am trying to highlight some of these points.

These are my personal views, and it does not have anything to do with forcing someone to believe. But, at the same time, the views are presented so as to be as universal as possible, and with the intention that the benefit of understanding it, will go down to the lines of our future sons and daughters.

As a brother to all the sisters of Manipur in particular and the North-East in general, I feel a deep pain, in fact untold sorrows, when the girls from our State and our region are not treated in the same way others are treated, in the metropolitan cities of India. I read in one article, from a national newspaper, that even the police in Delhi refused to respond to the complaints by some North-East girls for incident related to harassment, because their Hindi was funny.

So, in the first place, we all agree that there is this step-motherly treatment, irrespective of what you are or what you dress. This is the first problem and everyone, big or small, faces this problem at one time or the other. But this problem comes from the fact that we look different and speak different.

And I think there is an altogether different concept to combat this problem. The concept is all about good education in Manipur, economical image of Manipur in the National context, our thorough understanding of the mainland culture and so on.

But my concern in this article is the morale of our young generation in the metropolitan cities. Do we know that we already look different even in proper dignified dress? In my calculation we should dress several times more dignified than the locals do. Because how we dress and how we behave outside our state is not our personal image, but contributes to the general image of our culture.

Suppose, when some crime is committed on Miss Xyz of Manipur, people won't say Miss Xyz (her name) or the news won't say either. What the news will say is, a girl from Manipur. But when the same girl faces the same crime in Manipur, it will be just the vice versa - the news won't say a girl from Manipur, but it will say a certain Miss xyz. So we are different when we are in Manipur and when we are outside.

In Manipur you are what you are. Outside Manipur, you are not Miss Xyz or Mr. Xyz, but you are Mr. Manipur and Miss Manipur. So when you dress those skimpy clothes, people will say Miss Manipur or Miss North-East is wearing that dress. And their perception of Manipur will be a land that bears herds and herds of girls who wear skimpy dresses. And everyone knows that such dress is, in some way, associated with loose characters, at least in the context of the male viewers.

Another point the author has made is, "Need I mention that I had been attempted to be sexually molested several times, even when my body was completely covered while walking in the very streets of Imphal. I had been followed to my house several times by unknown guys and had to bear those sexual comments several times."

Now, that happens in your own hometown, and that too when you are in proper dress. Let us consider that case in Delhi and that too with skimpy clothes. Now imagine the level of harassment you will face when you dress like that in a city where you have no family, no local identity or no power etc.

You said you were harassed in your own state, but in Manipur, I am sure that everybody will come forward to help you when you react to those teasers – the police, the common people in the market etc. etc., all will come forward to help you handle the situation.

But in Delhi, you see, if a North-East girl dresses in mini skirt and is teased or harassed, how many people will be there to help her. So you see a big difference, a big gap, right? You see, if you are teased in Imphal, you can slap the teaser right away.

But do you have the background and guts to do that in Delhi? You may have, but most of the girls don't have it. So I pointed out that, being an outsider with different looks and culture, one has to be several times more dignified in dress and manner than the locals do in the metro cities.

The second issue is the so-called "illicit" relations that appeared in the article. Yes, Mr. Robindro is right in that concept. Because every educated person knows the meaning of illicit relation. It means any sexual relation which is not bound by law or tradition, and a relation which is not open to your parents, to your society or citizens.

When a girl and a boy share a bed without consent from their parents or law or tradition, don't you know it is nothing but illicit. Sleeping and getting paid is a far away topic and the writer, Miss Eshanou, should not have mentioned it.

Do you know that getting laid for money is a crime by law? Prostitution! That is prohibited by law for a common girl like you and my sister. So the limit lies in the illicit relation and that is the dirty limit, a shame to our State.

Prostitution by common girls is far beyond that limit, that is unthinkable and need not be discussed. And you know, now, what it means by "illicit". So when Miss Xyz from Manipur sleeps with some one, in the context of illicit, it is not Miss Xyz, but the people over there will say that Miss Manipur is sleeping with someone.

And, it is not going to stop there, that dirty image will run down to the generations of our sons and daughters. Why should my daughter or my grand daughter have a loose character image written on her forehead, just for the pleasure of those present generation Miss Xyz and Mr. Xyz? This is what common person like me cannot swallow down the throat and digest.

You may be having, as you said, some non-manipuri friends as your best friends of life. That is a good message. But if you mean that it is also right to sleep with friends, I don't think it is right. It is not right, at least from the tradition of Manipur or the tradition of India.

That may be applicable in the western world, for which I don't have a complete idea. But in India, NO. And as a girl from manipur, definitely not, because it is Miss Manipur when you are outside the State. And, yes you don't have that personal freedom to do that if you consider yourself to be a good sister or an aspiring good mother of your homeland.

Finally, I would like to make it a strong point to the wrongdoings in the circle of our Manipur people, at home or beyond. The same thing that is discussed is, in my opinion, very much applicable to one and all. In the meantime it is high time we stand up and protect the dignity of our people, our region and ourselves.

And last of all I would like to appreciate some of the suggestions given by Miss Eshanou. In fact, good things like good manners, proper clothes, how to be smart outside our region, morale values and dedication to studies should be taught as part of the curriculum in schools and colleges.

W. Kamei, R&D Scientist, India
Formerly, Automotive Engineer, BOSCH India.

W. Kamei wrote this article to e-pao.net
You can contact this writer at [email protected]
This article was webcasted on September 20, 2006.

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