Redefining matrimony: Prioritizing character over wealth

Aubaid Ahmad Akhoon *

In the dynamic journey of seeking life partners, one is met with both excitement and challenges. The universal longing for a beautiful, mature, morally sound, and understanding life partner often encounters the paradox where wealth seems to overshadow the importance of character in marital decisions.

Changing Dynamics: Elevating Character Above Wealth

In navigating the contemporary landscape of matrimony, there is a disconcerting reality where financial considerations sometimes obscure the significance of character, moral values, and understanding. While financial stability is undeniably important, it should enhance rather than overshadow virtues like caring, love, and mutual respect.

Societal Pressures and Unrealistic Standards

The societal pressure to conform to materialistic ideals adds stress to the pursuit of an ideal life partner. Acknowledging that wealth alone does not guarantee a fulfilling marriage is crucial. Prioritizing virtues such as kindness, empathy, and shared values becomes the cornerstone for building lasting relationships.

Reevaluating Cultural Norms

The challenges faced call for a reassessment of cultural norms that prioritize financial status over character. Ancestors, guided by principles of morality and virtue, regarded an individual's character as paramount. Deviating from these ethical foundations has given rise to contemporary challenges in the matrimonial arena.

Religious Teachings and Ethical Values

Many religions emphasize the importance of morality, compassion, and ethical conduct in marital relationships. Revisiting these teachings and integrating them into our contemporary approach to marriage, placing character and virtue at the forefront, becomes imperative.

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)" - Quran 30:21

The Conundrum of Marriage Age and Birth Rates

The increasing age at which individuals choose to marry contributes to a decline in birth rates. Recognizing the significance of timely unions becomes pivotal. A societal shift towards this recognition can address not only the quest for the right life partner but also the broader issue of declining birth rates.

Building a Noble Society: A Call for Change

Creating awareness within religious congregations, through Friday prayers and various social networks, emerges as a catalyst for change. Emphasizing the value of character-driven unions over materialistic considerations becomes the cornerstone for the formation of a morally upgraded, respectful society.

Addressing the Ease of Illegal Relationships

In the contemporary landscape, forming illicit relationships has become more accessible than nurturing legal ones. This shift demands a radical change in societal attitudes. Instead of engaging in divisive quarrels, religious scholars (Ulamas) from various mathabs can play a pivotal role.

Frequent awareness-raising during Friday prayers and on social network platforms can contribute to creating a noble, morally upgraded, decent, and respectful society where warm feelings of respect extend to everyone.

Controlling Extravagance in Marriages

Extravagance in marriages demands attention. Advocating for controlled spending on weddings, promoting modest celebrations, not only aligns with ethical principles but also prevents financial burdens on newlyweds.

Tackling Deceptive Practices and Caste System

In addition, addressing the prevalence of deceptive practices by matchmakers who sell fake profiles for financial gains is crucial. Working towards creating a transparent matrimonial system can foster trust and authenticity in the pursuit of life partners.

"The best of you are those who are best to their wives." - Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

Moreover, educating elders to shift their mindset while looking for matches is imperative. The ingrained caste system, especially in Kashmiri society, has been detrimental to the matrimonial landscape. As highlighted in Islamic teachings, focusing on the character of individuals should take precedence over rigid religious considerations.

A Paradigm Shift for a Harmonious Society

Bottom line, this article serves as a call to action, urging individuals and communities to play a role in reshaping societal perspectives on matrimony. By collectively working towards a transparent, ethical, and character-driven approach, we can pave the way for a society where character and respect form the bedrock of relationships, transcending the limitations imposed by financial motives, deceptive practices, and outdated societal norms.