Redeem your wads of 500 & 1000!

Free Thinker *

People at bank branches to deposit Rs 500 and Rs 10000 notes on November 10 2016 :: Pix - Shankar Khangembam

A monkey in China knew beforehand that who is going to be the next President of the United States of America. Even a fish in Chennai rightly forecast that Trump will triumph. No living being on earth including humans could predict the untimely passing away of rupees 500 and 1000 denominations. But few intelligent sceptics like Delhi Chief Minister do not believe in this theory of 'supreme secrecy'.

Anyway, the condolences of such sudden and unexpected demise are going on in every family of high and mighty throughout the country. I sincerely pay my heartfelt condolences to the bereaved families. More than 90% of my friends belong to the bereft houses. On the basis of my friends don't call me a bourgeoisie; I love to be identified with the masses though I am slightly better off.

These days, pertinent issue in our state is about how to settle thousands of cases which have cropped up after the demonetization of 500 and 1000 currency notes. In this pre-election recruitment season, many might have given tips or gratitude money (wads of 1000 / 500) to the concerned authorities in anticipation of the appointments or recruitments in government jobs.

The process of recruitment is still on. Just imagine this amazing situation. Givers will say "please do the needful we have already expressed our gratefulness". The Takers would like to say that redeem your outdated bundles and replace them with new wads or show your kindness in kind.

People who do not have enough (500/1000) money to exchange or deposit are perhaps waiting for a better deal from those who have hoarded more than the pardonable amount. The irony of the situation is that poor people are now getting honorariums or gratitude money from the elites who are rich and powerful.

Some of my friends say that it is a good move to do away with black money. But at heart they are not happy because they are also running from pillar to post to convert their blacks to whites. Believe me or not I am collecting 500/1000 notes from my friends (having excess notes) so that I can deposit a respectable amount in my account.

Forget about the limit of 2 lacs, I don't even have an amount for which I need to quote my PAN number. I am doing all these things to protect the honour and prestige of my family. You know, I am a hoarder of coins, now I am enjoying the fruit of my foolishness and bad economics. The vegetable vendor smiles when I count the coins to pay him for potatoes.

My friend in the North-block says there is no such thing as 'Mainstream' or 'Side-stream'. Respectfully I beg to differ. The closest and latest example of 'Mainstream' and 'Sides-stream' paradigm is exhibited when the new denominations are distributed; Delhi got the new currency notes of 2000 on the next day of demonetization whereas NE States received the new notes after two/three days.

One gentleman came to me crying in the evening immediately after the farewell (to 500 &1000) speech of Modiji and requested me to find possible channels to whiten his blacks.

First, I sympathized with him and I told him to consult bankers or IT officials or jewellers or agriculturists or petrol-pump owners or Party treasurers; as a matter of fact, they are the people who can show you the right path at this critical juncture.

I come to know from the press and electronic media that many moneyed people have burnt their money and some have torn the currencies and thrown into the river. What a waste!

They should have distributed at least 4000 each to all the poor people living in remote areas, hill areas, villages, slums or pavements. This suggestion applies to those stinkingly rich who have enormous hoarding of 500 and 1000 notes.

For politicians, I have a better suggestion to make, they must go to their respective constituencies and distribute whatever they have accumulated, telling the people honestly that the entire sum belongs to them (people). Tell them keeping your hand on your heart that you wanted to disburse the money at the time of election hustings and now you are compelled to distribute immediately due to some compelling circumstances.

Every voter must be given equal amount each without any discrimination. Police or IT official will be reluctant to touch you because the entire people will be behind you. Even if you have landed in jail for a while you will certainly win the election. Think of the political dividend you may get from such an honest declaration and distribution.

The moral of the story is, never do hoarding of big currencies, instead keep your assets in gold/diamonds or invest in real-estate and properties (benami, never mind) and mind you there are no more tax havens on earth. Proletariats are smiling, "achhe din aagaye"( though it is sadistic happiness).