Positive attitude and personality - Key to success
- Part 1 -

L Wolring *

The foundation of success, regardless of our chosen field is attitude which is most important to every sphere of life, including one's personal and professional life. Attitude is what's inside that makes it go up like a balloon. This same principle applies to our lives. It is what's inside that count. And what's inside of us that make us go up is our attitude. It can also be defined as way of thinking or behavior.

William James of Harvard University, UK said, "The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind." A person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons. He or she is always welcome. Life is a journey with an obstacle and we become our biggest obstacle by having a negative attitude. People with negative attitudes have a hard time of keeping friendships, jobs, marriages and relationships.

We must keep in mind that the winners don't do different things but they do things differently. We all know about the Biblical story of David and Goliath. Goliath was a giant of a man who struck feat in everyone's heart. One day a 17 year old shepherd boy came to visit his brothers and asked, "Why don't you stand up and fight the giant?" His bothers were terrified of Goliath and they replied, "Don't you see he is too big to hit?" But David said, "No, he is not too big to hit, he is too big to miss." We all know what happened. David killed the giant with a sling shot. The same giant, different perceptions.

Norman Vincent Peale has said that "Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude towards it, for that determines our success or failure." There are 8 steps of how to build and maintain a positive attitude. We need to consciously practice the following stpes:

(1) Changes focus, look for the positive: You need to focus on the positive in your life. Start looking for what is right in a person or situation instead of looking for what is wrong. If you are looking for what is wrong with people or with things, you will find many faults. Fault finders will find faults because most people find what they are looking for. Looking for the positive does not necessarily mean over looking faults.

(2) Make a habit of doing it now: If you want to build and maintain a positive attitude, get into the habit of living in the present and doing it now. Most people have regretted it later when they delayed or postponed action that leads to a negative attitude. Benjamin Franklin said, "Never leave till tomorrow which you can do today."

(3) Develop an attitude of gratitude: We are so focused on complaining about things we do not have that we lost sight of the things we have. There is a lot to be thankful for. Many of our blessings are hidden treasures – count your blessings and not your troubles.

(4) Learn things bydoing: We need to know the true meaning of education in schools, colleges and universities. Education that builds fundamental traits of character such as honesty, compassion, courage, persistence and responsibility is absolutely essential. We need those information and fundamental traits of character to be learned by doing or practical application. "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance." - Derek Bok. "Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn to do things the right way." – Benjamin Franklin.

(5) Build a positive self - esteem: Self - esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. When we feel good within, our performance goes up and our relationships improve both at home and at work. The world looks more beautiful and nicer. If you want to build a positive self - esteem quickly, one of the fastest way is to do something for those who cannot repay you in cash or kind.

There are two kinds of people in this world namely givers and takers. Takers eat well and givers sleep well. Givers have high esteem, a positive attitude and they serve society. As human beings, we all have need to receive and take but a person with high self - esteem is one that not only has its need to take but also to give.

(6) Stay away from negative influence: The minds of children, teenagers and adults get influenced by negative behavior because of peer pressure. It shows a lack of self - esteem when people do not have the courage to say "No, Thank you" and stay away from negative influences.

Don't let negative people drag you down. Remember that a person's character is not only judged by the company they keep but also by the company they avoid.We all know that smoking, drugs and alcohol are injurious to health and cost live but are glamorized today. People with a positive attitude must have courage to stay away from such practice of smoking, drugs, drinking alcohol and sexual violence.

(7) Learn to like the things that need to be done: Life is a journey with obstacles which became stepping stones on a long road as such, many changes took place. As human beings, we are trapped between our instincts and needs and the compulsion of our ancestral duty by the dictate of social systems. Some things needs to be done whether we like them or not.

For example, caring for the orphans at one of the destitute homes may not always be fun, and may even be painful. But if we learn to like the task, the impossible becomes possible. "Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible." – St. Francis of Assisi.

(8) Start your day with something Positive: After having a good night's sleep we are relaxed and our conscience is receptive. It sets the tone for the day and puts us in the right frame of mind to make the day a positive day. In order to bring about change, we need to make a conscious effort and be committed to make positive thoughts and behavior part of our lives.

Practice having positive thoughts and behavior daily until they become a habit. If you follow the 8 steps above, you will be a winner."If you are going to change your life, you need to start immediately." – William James of Harvard University, UK. "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you will be doomed if you don't try." – Beverly Sills.

Friederich Nietzesche said, "He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run". We need to learn how to build a positive personality which is very important to success. There are 26 steps for building a positive personality:

(1). Accept responsibility: Elbert Hubbard said, "Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them." Responsibility involves thoughtful action. Our objective is to cultivate responsible behavior and to accept accountability which represents maturity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our attitude and the environment we operate in. Most people are quick to take credit from what goes right but very few would readily accept responsibility when things go wrong." The price of greatness is responsibility." – Winston Churchill.

(2). So consideration: Whenever we pay the bill for what we eat in a restaurant or hotel, we leave some money as a tip for the waiter or waitress to show our appreciation/consideration for the service provided. By doing this, we think of others like ourselves. This kind of thoughtfulness shows a caring attitude and we would have a great place to live.

(3). Think win - win: When people serve and feed one another across the table, the result is happiness, prosperity, enjoyment and gratification because they are not thinking of themselves alone but they are thinking win - win. When we serve our customers, families, employers and employees, we automatically win.

(4). Choose words carefully: Our words reflect our attitude. Words can hurt feelings and destroy relationships. We should be tactful in choosing words carefully and knowing how far to go. Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. A fool speaks without thinking; a Wiseman thinks before speaking.

(5). Avoid criticism and complaints: Avoid criticism and complaints. The criticism is classified into negative and positive. Negative criticism is like a back seat driver who drives the driver mad. A positive or constructive criticism is to criticize with a spirit of helpfulness rather than as a put - down. Criticize the behavior not the person because when we criticize the person, we hurt their self - esteem. The right to criticize comes with the desire to help. Avoid being a destructive complainer but be a constructive complainer because it gives the receiver of complains a second chance to correct himself.

(6). Smile and be kind: A smile costs nothing, but it creates much. We know that cheerfulness flows from goodness. Like wise, a smile is contagious and is an inexpensive way to improve looks. A smile can be false or genuine, it improves face value. Smiling face is always welcome.

(7). Put positive interpretation of other people's behavior: It is a well - known fact that in the absence of sufficient facts, people instinctively put a negative interpretation on other people's actions or inactions. That is not true. When we start with positive assumptions, we have a better chance of building a pleasing personality resulting in good relationships.

(8). Be a good listener: There could be intellectual barriers such as language and comprehension but in order to inspire others to speak, we should be good listener. Listening shows caring and when we show a caring attitude towards another person, that person feels important when he feels important, he is more motivated and receptive to our ideas. "An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart." – David Augsburger.

(9). Be enthusiastic: The enthusiasm inspires confidence, raises morale, builds loyalty and is priceless. The enthusiasm comes first. "Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm." – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

To be continued....