Love - An ever evolving reality

Dr Sumedha Kushwaha *

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Reading this, made me realize that love is a poem for many, a song for few and for some its a couplet.

Love is a necessity in life for everyone. As much as we need to receive love, we also need to give love. Love is not just a feeling, it’s a vibration that flows between souls. People say it is true love that counts-but no love is untrue !

The reasons differ over time and the needs of people change and that’s why the feelings change. But no love is false or unreal. It is an evolving reality. Love could be counted as one of the most positive feelings and a safe haven that exists between two people.

It’s a place where being vulnerable is safe, when the unexpected is not an issue due to trust and hope, where letting go is considered safe because gravity exists and the laws that govern nature are defied due to the fact that the most elevated feeling makes you fall in love.

Nowadays, people love practically. When they love someone they look at their looks, bank balance, social status and so on. There is no love here-there is a scheme here. There is an assessment of numbers-but believe me when you are in love, all calculations go haywire.

That’s why someone living ten thousands of kilometers away from you, feels so near; the differences of age are easy to bear; height and weight aren’t even considered near.

Because, you love the soul- which is not rich or poor, you love the heart which is not black or white, you like the attitude which is not Hindu, Muslim or Christian, you adore the person, not the number of zeros behind one in their bank, you are amazed at the human being and his/her thought process, not the pass or fail of marks.

Love is a process, if you are in a relationship with a guy, with your spouse, child, parents, friends, colleagues-anything with anyone-There is nothing that comes for free-you have to take out time for this person, you have to work on the relationship, you have to invest in emotions, you have to let them know how much they matter to you, you have to keep correcting your own mistakes to right them.

Love is an eternal and unending process which requires patience and generosity.

Love is a space that grows patience, understanding, efforts, willingness. Just to create a space in that space for another person, that’s when people fall in love. Yes, you heard me right, “fall in love,” you won’t stand in love for you need to open doors for welcoming differences.

Love is an art, it’s the process of loving the process. What ? Loving the process ? What about the person ? Yes-enjoying the company of the person by drowning in the process. Is love all about loving to love the person ? Well-you tell me.

The process that we need to fall in love with is more of a never ending art. Love is a never-ending art project. It isn’t something we just “discover” and cling to, but something we must deliberately create together on a daily basis.

But we need to understand what I projected of love being an art. So, you need practice and patience. You need to love yourself first. If not-this is like the “painter” who never paints. They only consume other people’s work of art, but don’t produce anything new themselves.

They haven’t become an artist of their own–they haven’t yet started to experiment, to fail, to learn, to grow, and to hone their craft. You need to learn all sides of love.

But don’t break hearts because it fixes people’s visions of themselves and the future. Love is honestly a bubble that you create around yourself and people around you-it keeps you safe. But once you break that bubble of energy, safety, care and compassion-you set the soul free of fear to lose.

And once that happens, the return is difficult. Do not take love for granted, do not take your loved ones for a ride-Because people in life are like lamp posts- they give you light. Don’t become just a lamp post because at every 100 metres someone will find another. Become someone’s torchbearer. That’s lifelong love!