Fantasies of a sinister childhood: Peter Pan Syndrome
Yanglem Akash Singh *
Is it necessary to abandon one’s innocence as they mature; just to fit in with the societal norms that have been present since before one’s conceivement ? Although the answer, in itself, has been designated a norm; it is evident, throughout history, that there have been a few, if not many, figures that have opposed this “diktat” and thus were designated as “insane”.
A term coined in the latter half of the 20th Century by Dr Dan Kiley–“Peter Pan Syndrome” is a metaphor in itself; one that’s based loosely on the concept of not growing up mentally, lest it be willingly or unwillingly.
Albeit its philosophical meaning, it is also a term used to describe adults who are socially immature, stuck in their realm of “freedom” and sometimes different psychosocial realities, not wanting to accept the responsibilities and expectations that weigh down those with the ‘title’ of an ‘adult.’
To abandon the frivolity of one’s childhood may seem difficult and that is evident in the origins of the syndrome’s title; Peter Pan- the eternal child. Having first been introduced in the 1902 novel- “The Little White Bird” by JM Barrie, this character was portrayed as an infant playing gleefully with birds and angels, never ‘ageing’ past the barrier of one week.
As a kid who hoped for unconditional love from the ones surrounding him, he expected not the fact that all love is conditional, even parental love. As his mother closes the ‘window,’ Peter also faces a traumatising shock whilst he sees her cuddling another baby.
His decision to never grow up is also enforced after witnessing the antics of Captain Hook, a failure as an adult. Peter Pan symbolises the inner child that all possess yet many fear to show; remaining ‘innocent’ even in the face of many tragedies.
Whilst having a portion of one’s innocence always helps, for the “men who never grow up,” it inevitably transitions into a tragedy after a certain age, as they are unwilling to let the ways of the world chip away at their innocence, stealing their ability to dream limitlessly. There are many factors that may trigger the onset of this syndrome, of which one’s upbringing plays a major role.
To further that notion, I present a prime example of the same: “Permissive and Protective Parenting” (The two flip sides of a coin) - As one grows up, they perhaps fail to realise that there are certain boundaries that are never to be crossed; this failure is enhanced by one’s lax upbringing, if not one’s own poor sense of judgement.
On the other hand, however, if one’s sheltered too much from the outside world, their sense of judgement stagnates, whilst also losing out on the experience that could have perhaps shaped them. This method of upbringing, more often than not, instils in a child the fear of adulthood; therefore, when it really counts, the ‘child’ has to steer his own way around the concepts that remain unknown to him.
To achieve maturity, in both mind and body may perhaps be considered the path one should take, but it does not necessarily mean that maintaining a child-like innocence and curiosity is half-bad either. The problem only starts to arise when this mindset starts to take hold of the other aspects of life. A prime example of a negative value that springs from this carefree mindset is “Narcissism.”
The prioritisation of one’s personal desires over the needs of others and the failure of taking accountability is perhaps what describes the “men who never grow up” in a nutshell. Their child-like tendencies and low self-esteem (another reason for them to remain trapped in the realm of childhood) is perhaps what fuels the syndrome itself.
If we look at it from a historic point of view, Hitler could be seen as one who indulged in all his childish desires, however atrocious, albeit with a bit of meticulous planning.
Although this syndrome, a pop-psychology fad, is yet to have a definite cure and to be recognized by the WHO; those stricken with this ‘illness’ are able to adapt better to the responsibilities of adulthood after therapeutic sessions.
In the end however, one can’t help but ponder; isn’t being free from societal norms the epitome of liberation and not of cynicism? That question however can only be answered when one truly experiences both sides.
All that I, the writer can do, is leave you with a thought and a novel phrase perhaps- “In the midst of insanity, the sane are the ones truly insane.”
* Yanglem Akash Singh wrote this article for The Sangai Express
The writer is a 12th grader at the Doon School. Dehradun
This article was webcasted on June 27 2024.
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