Life is always full of ups and downs. But often one comes up with the winning punch when boxed into the corner.

This is Udita’s story. Strongwilled, persevering and a heart full of love. She married her boyfriend, Ratan, amidst strong family oppositions over the fact that he is a drug user. This was in the late eighties when Manipur was just awakening to the evils of drugs dependency.

Drug users and sellers were being publicly humiliated by civil society and women groups, jailed or even shot at by unidentified gunmen.

“I eloped during my second year BA. My parents were very angry, but my decision was also firm. Ultimately, we were married at my husband’s house without the presence of my parents and families,” she recalls.

However it was a short honeymoon. Six months after the marriage, her husband had a relapse and she came back to her paternal house. The separation was to last for about two years during which she completed her graduation and also underwent a diploma course on special education at Bhubaneswar. However in 1991, she left her B.Ed training and came back to her husband’s house.

In 1995, her first daughter was born and in November 1997, her second child - a son — was born. Four months after his birth, he started falling ill frequently. Diagnosed as having bronchital pneumonia, he also tested HIV positive.

“Initially my husband hid the news from me and I thought he was going to get well. But he died soon after being discharged from the hospital. I’ve lost my child, so that others don’t lose theirs, I came out to work,” she said.

“We all knew about the formation of the Manipur Network of Positive People (MNP+) in 1997. We knew most of the founder members too. My husband was a follower, if not a founding member. But I never thought HIV would enter our own house. It was only in 1998 that I also checked my status and tested positive,” she said.

A period of anger, depression and denial followed the results. “I didn’t tell anyone initially. But I think my own family suspected but couldn’t gather the courage to ask me.

Somehow the awkward silence too was as hard for me as the discrimination. I think they found it harder to accept than my in-laws. After I started working actively for MNP+ I also wasn’t bothered about whether they know or not. I stopped hiding,” she said.

“In 1998, Ashok Pillai and Geetha Venugopal of the Indian Network of Positive People (INP+) came to Imphal and we got the chance to share our stories with them. There were many of us in the meeting, but very few among us had come out in the open about our status, though amongst ourselves we knew.

After that also, whenever MNP+ has some programme and they ask us to come, we would go,” she recalls and adds, “What helped me most in accepting my HIV positive status and empowering me was the peer counselling.”

After the INP + exposure, the urge to know more and do more was born. Udita became a member of MNP+ in 1999. Three years down, in 2002 she started working actively – joining as peer educator on an UNODC project and also as field worker for an Action Aid project.

Once involved, Udita immersed herself full-heartedly into the work. On December 10, 2003, she became a board member of MNP+. Incidentally she wasn’t the first woman board member of MNP+, but the fourth. However she distinguished herself by not only her longstanding loyalty to the common cause but also her involvement at the national and international level HIV/AIDS intervention work.

In 2005 she became one of three women board members of INP+, the other two being Jhanvi of Assam and Neha of Maharashtra. During her tenure she along with her fellow members initiated the formation of the Asia Pacific Network of Positive People (APN+) as well as the INP+ women wing.

The same year, she also became the national representative of the Asia Pacific Network of Positive People (APN+)’s steering committee. “However in 2007, I stepped down from both positions as I wanted to focus more on the State level work.

I was getting weaker health wise, and also how long should I occupy the position. I had to make way for the others, what is more important is empowering the second line of leaders,” she expressed.

Udita also helped initiate the formation of the Women’s Asia Pacific Network of People Living with HIV/AIDS (WAPN+) in September 2006 in Bangkok. She has been a committee member of the INP + national women forum since August, 2007. The MNP+ State level women forum is also in the process of formation.

Being a woman living with HIV/AIDS has its own set of problems; these are again compounded by the existing patriarchal traditions and social outlook in Manipur. Often when their husbands die they are denied their property inheritance. They find no shelter – either at her husband’s house or their own house.

And when they fall ill, they often have no caregiver. And if a woman’s status is detected after the son’s death, then there are accusations on your morality. If you dress well, you have an affair; if dirty, no one respects you.

She continues, “If one is taking ART medicines, good nutrition is required; however, many women aren’t able to buy for themselves. And even if they have ample food, women often want to give more to husband and child. This is something inherent in us.”

Talking about the women living with HIV/AIDS in Manipur, she says, “There are many women who are bread earners. She has to run the kitchen, ensure food and other essential items for her children and husband, as well as meet social monetary requirements such potyeng, etc.

Sometimes unable to meet this economic burden, they become sex workers to earn some more money. In such situations the risk of greater HIV transmission increases.

Therefore to reduce HIV, we need to increase the economic power of women and focus on income generation programmes (IGP). To save Manipur from being overrun by HIV/AIDS into extinction, we therefore need to focus on our women.”

Udita did her initial schooling at Baby KG School and Tiny Tots in Imphal. When her education was disrupted by the All Manipur Students’ Union (AMSU)’s anti-foreigners’ movement, she completed her middle school in Chandigarh, and later came back to Imphal to complete her high school. She finished her Pre-University from Ghanapriya College and Graduation in Political Science Honours from DM College in Imphal.

The Manipur Network of Positive People (MNP+) is the sole network especially formed and run by the people living with HIV/AIDS in Manipur. It was established on 7th September, 1997 by five injecting drugs users, initiated as a self help group where they can share their problems.

Today they operate in eight districts and one sub-division of Manipur. They have more than 1600 members at present.