The significance of 1st November- 'International drug users day'
Exploring the life of drug use from a users perspective

Rajesh Khongbantabam *

Art work by Phurailatpam Banti Sharma on World AIDS Day

With the year 2012 hanging on for a few gasp of air and a new 2013 waiting in the wings or just perhaps! For the forthcoming 1st December (world AIDS day). This month of November was quite eventful for all those involved with drug use, as 1st November, which marked the international drug users day was quite vibrant and energetic. With a glimmer of hopes & aspiration, anticipating a few moderate changes, if not radical, this eventful day was observed everywhere where drug use programs were significant, albeit in absence of pomp & gaiety.

Or was it just one of those symbolic calendar observations with the usual monotonic rituals? But for this particular disdain community, the Recovery Alliance of MNP+, a wing of MNP+ secretariat comprising mostly of OST beneficiaries organized the commemoration using the occasion to remind one and all, especially the decision makers at the top hierarchy on the needs and aspiration of drug using populace. But the most highlighted achievement would be the shift of paradigm in the approach of MNP+ secretariat programme think tank.

It indeed is not an easy task, rather uphill to organize an observation in the prison set-up by the MNP+-UNODC project, which in early period were unfathomable. Indeed a big challenge, rather a way step forward towards progressive thinking. Why? For the simple fact that these prison fraternity has always been at the receiving end of brutalities and is already a classified, more or less a statistical figure which is one of the most vulnerable at risk community due to their hidden nature with all channels being clipped off from the mainstream society. This riskier community needs to be reached out with utmost sensitivity, a preparation of rationale strategy complemented with hard advocacy, targeting those powerful officials (prison) to make it into a real reality.

Kudos to the UNODC project implementers! The first amongst its kind in the country to implement such innovative program (prison) with a dose of integrated care & support component focusing on harm reduction at the same time, considering the fact that prison officials will always be in a denial mode even if they admit rather than accept such hard facts – that harm reduction programs are indeed a necessity with an implication that a more sinister and a riskier health activities is a realty happening in custodial set-up.

And when such hard facts are realized and accepted, albeit with a sense of skeptic, it indeed does nothing to enhance the prison reputation for a program neccesating harm reduction intervention portrays the true picture of behind the screen, indicating a hard to digest happenings exemplified with rendezvous use of drugs, sexual activities with same gender and other related riskier health activities such as tattooing.

Well! What was I contemplating? Maybe reflecting with some solace that it's not the end of the world. Even if nothing remarkable for my fingers to tap on the keyboard, I am just one of those cranky guys trying to figure out how it is like to be a drug users' and also a normal citizen at the same time which exactly is not an easy task to comprehend the individuality of a drug users'. Agreed, drug users are liars, cheaters and prone to criminal activities. As such a level of honesty and sincerity has not always been an admirable sp0ot for the scaling parameters. Still then drug users are drug users and still a humane.

However, these personal diaries can beat the scaling mark as I poured out with all sincerenes, trying to figure out my true self, who am I? What is it like to be a drug user? Are they different from any other homo-sapiens? Peace loving citizens?

The day before, I was talking to my program psychiatrist, one of the key providers of OST MNP+ program who specializes in drugs & alcohol. "Why do people take drugs? Why do they mess themselves up, spend so much energy to get out of it, only to end up in the same s***tty mess the next day?" but then –

"Well, what so great about being straight? Life is indeed a s***t."

"Of course! Life is s***t, but do get used to it. Hell is on earth but that's no excuse to make it worse. You have to work at it. You can get high without drugs. A quick fix is just lazy. There is nothing glamorous about it either, inspite of what the movies may portray." And still – why do we do it? Why do we spend every last coin we have (and some we don't have) on that powder? Why do we alienate our family and friends, risk exposing ourselves over and over? What's so great about drugs?.

Personally, I prefer muscle and blood to share my bed, but as many users knew "once you start down the dark path, forever it will dominate your destiny". In talking about addiction, Helen keane once wrote, "Is addiction like diabetes or high blood pressure (a chronic disease)? Is it like hunger or thirst? Is it like watching T.V in the evening? Is it like falling in love?" Of course, it could be any or all of those things and more.

I would guess there are many reasons to use as there are users. For me, it's partly to do with rebellion & frustration. There is something about being in the straight world and having a dirty secret. For example, I also love the theatre of using; don't tell me using is not glamorous? 'Glamour' is, after all, a spell and once you have tasted the bittersweet honey, there's no return. It's a one way street. We knew that using is an irrational act and love that it doesn't make sense. We actively reject the strictures of strict of "real life" and embrace the fantastical nonsense of using. Of course I do take risk for my using, but these days I try to keep my little corner of chaos fairly tidy.

May be I could get those same feelings from meditation, but to get to that kind of level, I'd have to purify my body of toxins and give up heroin, and why fix it ain't broke? Or until my OST have had every bupe to spare to provide me a breathing space? By