Rigid parenting could be counter-productive, warns psychiatrist
Source: Chronicle News Service / Sagolsem Bigyan
Imphal, June 29 2025:
Excessive control in parenting, often driven by the desire to mould children into perfection without understanding their individual capabilities, can cause more harm than good, cautioned Dr Senjam Gojendra, head of Psychiatry Department at the Regional Institute of Medical Sciences (RIMS), Imphal.
Speaking to The People's Chronicle, Dr Gojendra highlighted the growing trend of parents imposing rigid routines and expectations on children, stating that such parental pressure could negatively impact their children's mental health and overall development.
Every child has his/her own abilities and no two children are the same.
Parents must understand this before trying to force them into a particular mould, he said.
Dr Gojendra observed that many parents, in their attempt to ensure their children stay on par with others, resort to strict routines inspired by what they see in other households.
Children today often start their day as early as 3 or 4 in the morning for private tuition, followed by school, and more tuition afterwards, only to return home by 7 or 8 in the evening.
This deprives them sleep, time for recreation, and basic joys of childhood, he pointed out.
Such routines lead to fatigue, poor eating habits, lack of interest in self-study, and in extreme cases, can result in mental health issues such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), he warned.
Treating children like machines and punishing them when they cannot cope will only backfire, he added.
Instead of scolding children when they make mistakes, Dr Gojendra advised parents to approach such moments with care.
"Let the child realise what went wrong and guide them on how to correct it.
Constant pressure, coupled with criticism for not scoring high in exams, can push children into harmful behaviours including substance abuse," he explained.
Dr Gojendra also emphasised the importance of parents acting as role models.
A father who drinks cannot effectively advise his children to stay away from liquor.
Besides, parents indulging in substance abuse often lead to chaotic home environments, which in turn affect the mental well-being of the children, he noted.
Monitoring children's friend circles is another crucial aspect of parenting, he said, explaining that if a child is part of a negative peer group, parents should counsel and help them understand the consequences.
Harsh reactions might push them further into the wrong crowd.
Instead, parents could seek help of professional counsellors, he added.
Dr Gojendra also pointed out the growing issue of digital addiction.
Handing over mobile phones to calm a crying child can lead to long-term dependency.
While smartphones are now an essential part of life, their use must be moderated and monitored, especially among children.
Families now spend less time together because everyone is absorbed in their screens, which weakens relationships and moral values, he added.
He further stressed the importance of integrating counselling into the education system.
While some institutions have started offering counselling services, widespread adoption of the same is still lacking.
Counselling can help identify the root causes behind a student's poor performance and guide them towards both academic and behavioural improvement, he said.
Understanding a child's ability and capacity is essential in shaping them into responsible and healthy members of society, Dr Gojendra added.
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