My First Angel

Ningombam Bupenda Meitei *

In the mid of night, suddenly,
I remember the face of my first angel.
Tears roll down from my eyes,
Thinking of those moments which are still remembered by me, mostly.
Unknown smile captures my face,
I look up at the cross and convince myself, gone is gone.
Again as usual, asking myself,
"Can I still wait for you?, O! angel."
But, how long?
Impatiently, I was brought up emotionally,
I was played upon.
It has been a long time since I left my mother's womb,
It has been a long time since I left my almameter,
just as I was so weak to stand alone without your eyes.
Gone were those days
I walked with you, in your garden.
Gone were those moments
I sat with you in the moonlight.
Gone were those silent breakers
I created for you.
I don't wish to remember my past.
Let my past be dead, but,
" Can I kill my first angel?" or,
" Can I let my first angel be killed?"
Never, never.
Oh! God of Strength, where are you?
Am I a descendant of God of Weakness?
Again, I look up at the cross.
My sobbing gets stopped as I get convinced since I believe in Him.
I ask Him, "Why shouldn't I forget the angel?"
Where she is ?
Where I am ?
The princess of her destiny, she is.
The slave of my destiny, I am.
What a difference!, its a lovely one.
I realise I am in the worldly world.
Thus exists the world, my mind tells;
There exists the eternity, my heart tells;
I fail to choose my real master,
I am really a failure,
I am really a slave.
Oh! Almighty, if Heaven exists,
Could you hear me?
Could you see me ?
Could you remember me?
Could you help me?
Have you forgotten my faith in you?
The throne of my destiny,
I beg from you
The throne of her destiny,
I pray for my angel.
No courage,
I have to meet my first angel
But, as long as my pen lives and my midnight lamp burns,
In the mid of every night, always,
I remember the face of my first angel.

"The Journey with three poems" is a small collection of the three inter related poems from the collection of innumerous English poems of the poet. It gets completed not with the mere three poems but truely gets successful with the arrival of the true angel in the poet's life and its not neccessarily meant that the poet has actually encountered with one beauty whose physical presence can be sensed in the present world.

The discovery of the poet's purity by the true angel can also be philosophical and for literary joy too.

It essentially targets those who live a lonely life and prefer to travel as a loner but ultimately, on his way, his true angel welcomes him to realise the true meaning of both of his and her existence on the earth, in the humane world and indeed in the universe as a whole.

The poems may be well read by gentlemen when they are alone or for their beautiful angels.