War versus Battles

Dr Sumedha Kushwaha *

Perseverance is a skill that we acquire after years of practice. It isn’t a God gift or a genetic trait passed on from your forefathers to you. So many people find reasons and give up before reaching their final destination. They will dwell in a state of mind of how it cannot be done.

Many seek solace elsewhere because it is their urge to procrastinate and it feeds their feelings of fear that engulf them about the hardships they will face on the journey.

But there are few people who know exactly what they want. They have a laser sharp focus on the goal, as if they cannot see anything other than that particular goal. And when they decide what they want, they chase it with all their resources.

It is not as if they do not meet hardships on the way but they choose to look what works for them and all the reasons that will make them reach there.

When we have to dig even a gram of gold, we have to remove tons of dust. Chasing your dreams is also like that, you have to choose your battles wisely. If you consider every single and small thing that obstructs your way as a battle, you will be drained for the final war you have to fight.

Now, having said that-at each moment of your path, metaphorically when you meet a speedbreaker or a car over speeding and someone over taking you-you have a choice of either stopping your own car and hurling abuses at these situations or people or simply ignoring them.

Yes, our ego says, we should teach them a lesson. But, ask yourself deep within-Is it even worth it ? Is it worth your time, energy, attention ? That’s for you to decide.

On whatever thing we put our attention, manifests in our life. So, if your attention is on how rich your neighbor is and you are getting jealous of them-take my word- they will be even more richer in the next quarter and you will be more jealous and stagnant than ever.

If we have to get out of a situation, the truth is that we have to stop thinking about the problem and the solution. It’s ironical but yes, that’s a fact. The more you focus on its solution remaining inside the problem, the deeper you get into your own problem.

You must be wondering then what is the solution ? In my opinion, distraction and detachment is the way. Tackling your problems without attachment and for some time distracting yourself from the problem and focusing on what your strengths are and making up for your weaknesses is the solution.

Building your skills and working towards a better version of you is a better option. Through this exercise, you will focus on what is good in life and that focus will ultimately help you solve your problem better.

What is the point cribbing about the same problem again and again when you are not ready to take concrete decision for yourself ? Why curse other people for your own misery when you are the master of your choices, action and destiny ? Why take account of others actions when you are yourself crippled with dogmas, habits and paradigms that have led you here ?

Lastly, how will you ever be able to forgive people who have done wrong unto you if you are not ready to forgive yourself for your own mistakes.

There is a difference between being egoist and assertive, being simple and stupid, being reasonable and rebellious, being judgmental and justified and indecisive and having a decision fatigue.

Choose your battles very wisely because it is about the war you have to fight at the end. If your battles are smaller and require your unnecessary attention- it will drain your energy and the zest to move forward. And if these battles are significant they can act as stepping stones in your success. Assess as to what is at stake ?

Choosing wisely means to evaluate if it’s taking away your happiness, peace, contentment, sleep and precious time ! Keeping your values and virtues intact is as important as winning in the long run.