The shades of love

Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam *

The Dalai Lama says, "the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being." But again, expectations keep ruining the love we spray, we keep getting disturbed and broken.

Yes, it's so true-to love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable. To love is to be vulnerable.

So, love is nothing but falling in love with the act of loving others with no expectations of return.

Again, changing the window of perspective, love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. It's hard to explain what love is at times, but I believe that love happens for a reason.

People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Now, what is this something so called 'falling for each-other?'

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But with all honesty, a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. For that, you can expand the territory of your love and give to most around you.

Because, when our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighboring communities, and so on. When we feel love and kindness towards others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.

So, what is love beyond being a noun ? Some say love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end. And again sadly, love is an emotion experienced by many but only enjoyed by a few.

Beyond love being an abstract noun, beyond just keeping love as a feeling in your heart, or just blanketing it as an emotion - it is a verb; it is more than a feeling - it is caring, sharing, helping, sacrificing - it's more 'doing' than 'feeling.'

I couldn't agree more with what Robert Fulghum said, i.e. "we're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love."

And again with all seriousness, like Mahatma Gandhi said, "Where there is love there is life." But still you open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.

You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end.

"Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life," says Bob Marley.