NEO vs NSCN IM, UNC, GOM

Thiyam Gambhir *

When NASA claimed that the 150ft (45m) rock will zoom harmlessly by our planet on its record near approach this week, it is just one of up to a million "near-Earth objects which one day could pose a serious threat.

I was having a cup of coffee at the entrance of my lawn when I go through this news, which was making the headline. Another page reads "UNC core demand for an Alternative Arrangement for the Naga dominated Area" and charged the Chief Minister of Manipur the worst or the best Enemy of the Nagas. Although I have little interest over the issues of pointless diplomacy, it seems that the message is loud and clear to everyone.

The speed of NEO is descending at 100,000 miles/s. I was calculating the course of its journey, which is now at the orbital speed of 30 km/s. The NASA have suddenly reviewed its speculation and predicted that there might have every chance of having a big crater on the surface of the earth. Meanwhile, UNC led by its supreme commander also changed their political move and demanded for complete abolition of ADC and to impose self-governance for all the Naga dominated area in Manipur and issued notice for immediately cutting ties with the State Government.

Sensing big troubles, an urgent meeting was called and as a counter measures to neutralize the demand of UNC, the CM flew immediately to ND to appease the situation or who knows whether to avail the benefit of season big discount sale in C P. However, damage had already started in the valley, reporters were covering live rally showing mass number of people with slogan for territorial integrity and burning the effigies of UNC/NSCN-IM leaders, some of them started pulling down the battery of the W-LED solar lamp installed by MANIREDA under JNNSM project.

Interestingly, in the next adjacent district, people with bamboos and rocks were fighting with the state forces shouting "No AA, No Peace". When the eyes could no longer be a friend with the Brain then it becomes a big headache for the Center, problems of J&K and Maoist have already caused much harmed to New Delhi, it is just like the dispute of Senkaku Island well within India. To prove being the largest Democratic Country and to maintain the status of unified diversity the Big Guns in a press release assured that the territorial integrity of Manipur will not be compromised and the development of the hills will be the prime agenda of the next rounds of discussion for an amicable solution in the region.

For all political party, this becomes the best buffet they ever had, now missing the bull's eyes is out of question. Both the states felt that a big dinner is ready on the table. Gifted with the best olfactory organ the KSDC also placed a spoon into the plate of NSCN IM by depicting almost ¾ of the present Manipur to be the land of Kuki. In this backdrop the UNC were disturbed and said that they are closely observing the situation and all the constituent tribes have been advised to remain alert and vigilant. I wonder even Herodotus will be defeated to define the meaning of constituent Tribes only in relation with Nagas.

Meanwhile NEO is now at the elliptical speed of 41 km/s and entering the earth atmosphere. In this crushing speed and its size, it carries the energy of more than 40 kiloton two times the nuclear Bomb dropped in Hiroshima. The control room in the Pacific Ocean confirmed that the ROCK is now entering the Stratosphere and if not burnt itself in the mid air then the Asian Continent is a treat. Many people in the western countries started praying for the safety of humankind, nuclear experts were kept standby if any untoward happen in the mother earth.

However, the ECI has announced that Nagaland will go to the poll on February 23, 2013 and the result will be announced on February 28. with this, the Model Code of Conduct will be in opearion with immediate effect and EC will keep a strict vigil on any violation of the code. Whatever the code of conduct is, GOD knows the definition of conduct for political parties… All the leaders are ready to engage with every possible means to come to power. Even street dogs got the chance of having a mouthful of Foreign Liquor. NSCN IM in the latest development submitted to the Govt. of India its displeasure over the incident of violating the ceasefire agreement by irresponsible AR.

Every candidate in its election manifesto promised formation of Nagalim and integration of all Naga tribes. The Kilonsers started again for "Nagaland for Christ" and recalled the history shouting that since April 30, 1988 NSCN IM was for the welfare of the Nagas. Few know the truth and the truth is many tribal communities do not agree representing the people of Nagas by a terrorist group who comes forward in extortion and kidnapping people. In another twist a memorandum signed by unknown representative also reached the GOM with a copy to the Union Home Ministry demanding abolition of article 3 of the constitution of India or at least declaring "null and void" in the case of Manipur.

Panic button already pressed in the Pentagon and instructed every American citizen for high alert. The NEO increases its speed at 45 km/s, with dust, fire and smoke enters the Tropopause 10 km above sea level. All flights were grounded and a High label meeting was called at the UN to discuss the probable outcome of such impact. As per the protocol, the point of impact was still kept as secret. Rumors filled the office of PM of India that it will hit New Delhi, some came to the conclusion that it will hit Islamabad. Whatever it may be, vacating the VVIP was the first safety measures and as such the PM and his colleagues were shifted to Diego Gracia.

The whole world is looking for point 24ø 49' 1.2" N, 93ø 57' 0" E. Satellites were re-programs to cover the impact. Many satellites including KH-13, GOES -12 and the Hubble Space Telescope started giving coverage about the pictures of 24ø 49' 1.2" N, 93ø 57' 0" E.

SURPRISED .... business were as usual in every corner, human lines in front of Petrol Pumps, Bank ATM, Gas agencies were recorded. Stunt to this development the President of America asked What the hell is this and what this place called ? One of them replied its MANIPUR the "Jewel of INDIA".

"HOLYCOW" ..... Why these people are shouting at and what they are carrying with? The prime Minister of France replied they are demanding Territorial Integrity of MANIPUR and another group is demanding Greater Nagalim the other one is asking for Kukiland and the other white dressed people are asking for repealing AFS.... "OMGOSSSSS.... Didn't dey hav no time to even look up the ski......" All the officials giggles ..... "Called the PM of India immediately NOW ".....

At just a moment of time Manipur become more like Poland or Austria. All countries were watching live telecast. Pope Benedict XVI offer special prayers particularly for the people of Manipur.

"Good Morning…Mr. President" greeted the PM over Phone.

"I don care how goodd this morning is JUST GIVE ALL THE DAMN THING THEY ASKED.. BEFORE THE ROCK FALLS ..... " Yell the President

Immediately, UNC, NSCN IM and the GOM received a phone called and got assurance that there will be Greater Nagalim under the six scheduled of the constitution of India, REAPEALING OF AFSPA with immediate effect and above all the Territorial integrity of Manipur will not be compromise at any cost and....… then ....…..BOOOM..............

At last, Nature has taken what it belongs to it… nothing remains… Hubble Space Telescope zoom the picture and then YOOO… a Monkey was seen jumping near Mount Koubru. Nobody knows how he survived but some believes that he is the only one who never claimed any piece of land.

Suddenly, my nephew shouted to me "Why are you opening your mouth and looking up the sky" "Listen to the News"

A long breath is all what I can feel at the moment.. so it was a dream….. OMG... a bad dream indeed.

I switch on the radio and then the headlines of the News announced "Indefinite blockage to NH-39 from midnight"....