TODAY -

Sex, Romance and Spouse Relationship

G S Oinam *



Women are blessed with the art of looking stylist and elegant. And, for sure, are better than their male counterparts in this regard. Their flamboyant attitude is matched well by the elegance of their look and the grace of their attire and accessories. Modern women today, have an identity beyond the four walls of her house. And for each of her role, she has to juggle between work pace and home. Constantly on run, she has less time but is more fashion conscious. This is the reason why they prefer jewellery beside to the budget of all; they look good and add to the personality status too.

Modern women are expected to change their view and habits to suit the wishes of husband and in laws. A women who demands something or expresses a preference is considered difficult, perhaps even a 'family breaker'. Fast forward 21st century pope singer Madonna in the eighties wants to be a material girl- and we all knew there is more to marriage than love. Today's women have become assertive about more than her rights. She also known her likes and dislike with the result that society labels her as materialistic. A changed society needs strong women who can steadily hold the family and her profession, but in the process, does not lose her own identity.

Traditional Indian mother saved the best food for her husband and children. She might have eaten cold food, sometimes and leftovers. By the time her children grew up and were able to understand their mother's likes and dislikes, she might have lost any sense of entitlement to her choices. She becomes less of an individual every time. 'I live for my family' she proclaims but it is the same family that does not bother about a mother is eating.

Why should a woman give up her favourite things when she married is the question of modern women? Women are expected to change their views and habits to suit the wishes of her husband and in law. Contradiction of old traditions and modern thinking are often created discord in many families. However, it is ironic that women are front runner in almost every sphere now, but in their own homes, many are treated like second class individuals. But the world is changing!

Every women/ girl must have another female friend she can rely on, take advice and enjoy going out with. But sometimes, in a close relationship between gal pals, some silly mistake can skew the entire friendship, especially once one of them gets a boyfriend/ husband. Here is what you can do and avoid doing

Experts are suggested to make no mistake of raving about your friend's newfound man. Never say how hot you find him. Let her gush about him. And don't force her into surrendering all the details about her past to you. With time, she will eventually confide to you. Call your friend to join you and her man for a movie but ask her if she is comfortable about it in the first place. While the comfort factor may be high between the two of you, do not take away things without asking. Be it makeup, junk jewellery or cloths for party. Always ask her permission because they like it. Do not criticise her parents or siblings. Respect her choice and enjoy!

Wondering how your wife manages to remember the wedding anniversary, your child birth day? Scientists at Cambridge University found explanation- women really do have better memories than men. But one thing is that they often reveal everything and always speak past reference at the time of couple's quarrel.

There are no doubt the fair sexes, but women look most beautiful at the age 31, a new study has claimed. Researchers have found that women in their late 20's and early 30's are considered more attractive than fresh faced 18-19 years old- and they reach the peak of their beauty at the age 31. Beauty was defined as being confident by nearly 70% of respondents, having good looks by 67% and being stylish by 47%.

When under stress, women engage in social networking and try to befriend people, while men react in the opposite and become anti- social, a new research has claimed. A team of psychologist of the University of South California led by Mara Mather showed that stressed men and women react in opposite ways. Scientists have claimed that when a man refuses to apologize to a woman for something wrong he has dome, he could put her at risk of heart attack.

A study has found that women who are starved of an apology for rude or harmful behaviour suffer an increase in blood pressure, which can raise the risk of heart attack or stroke. The research also showed that those who hear a well timed 'sorry' calm down more quickly, with their blood pressure returning to normal 20% faster. On the other hand, a man's blood pressure takes 20% longer to recover after an apology- suggesting men become more worked up after hearing an admission of guilt.

Blame it on their genes, but men take just a fraction of second to judge a women on her looks and whether she will be a potential partner or not. They weight up potential partners based on their appearance because their ancient genetic preference for attractive mates leads them to, experts claim. Men take a woman with an attractive face and body to be fertile and able to continue the family line, which appeals to their survival instincts.

On the other hand, women take longer to decide their feelings for a man because they need to weight up whether he will be a committed partner who will provide for them well-part of their survival programming. Mark Van Vugt and Johanna Van Hooff, from the University of Amsterdam, and Helen Crawford from the University of Kent tested men and women's bias towards looks by conducting series of tests, making their performance task while recording their brain activity.

While performing the task, the subjects were shown photos of faces of the opposite sex, ranging from attractive to ugly. Men were easily distracted when they saw a pretty face but women struck to the task. "Men have more wandering eye because they have evolved to pay attention to cues of fertility and one of those cues is facial beauty- it is not that men are shallow" Van Vugi said.

Therefore, a beautiful female stranger may cause a man's stress hormone level to shoot up in just five minutes- and it could be bad for his heart, says a new study. In fact, the men's cortisol levels raise even higher, bringing on the possibility of heart attacks and strokes, says the researchers at the University of Valencia. The men, who have been told to avoid alcohol and other stimulants for 24 hours, were led to a room and given a sudoku puzzle to solve.

Each one presumed the other two people in a room where a researcher and another student guinea pig. When the researcher left the room- on the pretence of getting another puzzle- the other two people where left alone. The researchers found that cortisol levels stay the same when two men where together but rose when a man was left alone with an attractive women. While some men avoid attractive women since they think they are out of their league; the majority respond with apprehension and a concurrent hormonal response.

If you think your boss is the biggest cause of stress, you may be wrong, for a new study has claimed spouse causes more anxiety at home than superiors in office. In Britain, there may be no place like home but if one wants to relax then one might be better off at work. The poll also found that husbands are more likely to send their wives blood pressure soaring that the other way round. Over all, 58% of the respondents said that their spouse or partner was among those who put them under pressure. Just 43% said the same of their manager and 18% of women said their partner added a lot of stress to their life- compared with just12% of men, Daily Mail reported.

Virgin conscious brides and bride grooms will be disappointed in marriage in the next generation because 90% of urban teens say premarital sex is fine. According to a survey of UTV Sport Boys film 'Udaan's summery of the survey using 1004 respondent of urban teens (76% boys) says one of the 10 teens closest to their Dad; one in five teens have smoked before they turned 16; two of five teens driven bike/car before they reached 16; 50% of teens have kissed someone of opposite sex; one in two have watched porn picture before they reached 16; one in two kids steel money from their parents; and 90% of teens says premarital sex is fine. Institute of child study, Toronto University found that at the age of 2, 20% of kids will lie. This rises to 50% by three and 90% at 4 year. However, the tendency starts to fall away by the age of 16, when it is 70%


* The author is a journalist based in New Delhi and contributes regularly to e-pao.net. He can be contacted at gitchandraoinam (at) yahoo (dot) co (dot) in
This article was webcasted on July 28, 2010.



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