Those looking for a wealthy groom, question yourselves too!

Dr Satyawan Saurabh *

Spit on the faces of those who are looking for a single rich boy. This double thinking is the real face of our society, where opposition to dowry is limited to speeches only, but a big bank balance and a government job become the criteria for the marriage of daughters. If change is really needed, then this double thinking will also have to be eradicated. Marriage is a bond of relationships, not a game of bargaining. Stop just pretending, change your thinking.

We need real change, not just slogans.

Dowry system is a social curse in India which is still deeply rooted. Taking dowry is not only a crime but it is an insult to the honor of a woman who is given a high status in the society as a daughter, wife and daughter-in-law. But, this practice is not limited to the greed of men only, but many times the thinking of the family and society itself is also involved in promoting it.

Speaking against dowry is one thing and finding a rich groom for your daughters is another. This contradiction exposes the deep gulf in our mentality. On the one hand, we protest against dowry, write posts, raise slogans, and on the other hand, when it comes to marrying our daughters, we start looking for a boy from a rich family and with a hefty salary. This double thinking is a social disease that is taking us away from our values.

This mindset is not limited to dowry. It is a pervasive part of our thinking that is visible in every aspect of society. For example, when we look for a boy for a girl, we value his financial status more than his education, ideology, and character. This mindset not only objectifies girls but also puts economic pressure on boys to focus more on their career and earnings to become an 'ideal groom'.

The biggest example of this thinking is seen when matrimonial advertisements demand a boy from a 'good family', 'government job', and 'a well-earning boy'. This is not just a demand for economic security, but is indicative of a deep mindset that believes that money is the most important element to keep a girl happy. This not only turns marriage into a business, but also weakens the foundation of a true relationship.

In such a situation, the question arises whether we are really so insecure that we need only financial stability for the happiness of our daughters? Are we still late in understanding that the worth of a good person should be judged by his character, thoughts and behavior, and not by the depth of his pocket?

It is important to get out of this mindset. This is possible only when we teach our sons that their value lies in their character, not in their salary. We have to teach our daughters that their value lies in their own identity, not in being associated with someone's name.

This requires a collective effort. We have to end this double standard in our society and create a generation that understands the meaning of equality and respect in the true sense.

The tradition of dowry has such a deep impact in our society that people consider it a symbol of respect. Sometimes it is considered a matter of pride and prestige, and those who do not follow it are considered inferior in the society. This thinking not only weakens the daughters but the entire society. It drowns families in debt, creates cracks in relationships and shakes the foundation of the society.

The fight against dowry will be successful only when we eradicate this problem not only from law but also from our mindset. We have to create a society where education, self-reliance and independence of girls are given top priority.

Apart from this, we have to teach our sons to choose their life partner only on the basis of their qualification, character and ideology and not on the basis of their family's financial condition. This change is possible not only by the thinking of one person but by changing the thinking of the entire society.

The time has come to eradicate this evil of dowry and lay the foundation of a society where marriage is an equal and respectable bond, not a means of economic bargaining. We must understand that marriage is a sacred relationship, not a business.

Just making laws is not enough. We have to change our thoughts, traditions and thinking. We have to ensure that daughters and sons are given equal importance in our homes. We have to teach our sons to respect their spouses, treat them as equal partners, not as an object.

True change must begin from our homes. Only when we teach our sons to associate with someone based only on their character and ideology, can the evil of dowry be eradicated from society. We must remember that daughters are not a burden for anyone, but a blessing.