The Zeliangrong lifecycle: Rites and ceremonies
- Part 4 -

Budha Kamei *

Gaan Ngai Celebrations at Keishamthong Khul on January 12, 2012 :: Pix by Jinendra Maibam

Nouthanhutmei Khatni Noutimei:

News will be conveyed to the parents of the girl that on this date or day, people are coming to meet them. On the appointed day, the two Nouthanpous will go to the house of the girl and talk to her parents on behalf of the boy's family. The day on which the final words are given by the girl's parents in favour of the boy is called Noutimei, meaning the bride giving day. On this particular day, a date is fixed to declare the list of bride price.

Manthing Lemmei and Nouman Manmei:

On the fixed day, the bride's family will announce the list of bride price. The items and number of articles in each item will be counting by breaking pieces of sticks. The counting will be done by the Lugaan, son-in-law of the bride's family. Thus, the bride-price is settled. This is called Manthing Lemmei. The same pieces of sticks will be handed over to the Lugaan of the groom's family. At the end of the settlement, a date is appointed for the payment of the bride-price.

Nouman:

Nouman means bride price in local dialect. It is referred to the gifts presented by groom's Kin to that of the bride. It may be interpreted into two ways: labour price and soul price. By a marriage, a productive member of a family is lost. Compensation is to be given in the form of bride price to the family for the loss of a daughter by the groom's family. Indira Barua writes, the bride wealth compensates the bride's family for the loss of an active member, because among the Indian tribes, the female members of the household make a substantial contribution in the production as they are active members of agricultural and other household works This compensation is not for the use of the bride. It is utilized by the family because sometimes, it is employed to get a wife for a son of the family. And in some societies, even the father of the bride uses it to marry himself another wife.

The payment of the bride price is permitted to the groom right to marry the bride and the right to her children. In most patrilineal societies, a marriage is marked by the transfer of bride wealth (in cattle, spears, money or other goods) from the groom's family to that of the bride. Bride wealth ensures that the children of the union shall be legitimate and affiliated to the husband's clan or family. Bride wealth is not, of course, purchase of a woman but a means of legitimizing the marriage. The payment of bride price, a woman has to lead to remain a wife rather than come back to live as a sister in her parental family. Bride price is commonly also a guarantee that the young wife will be well treated in her new home.

Bride price is an important part in their marriage system. The family of the groom has to give the bride price fixed by the customs to the bride's family. But if the bride does not like to live with the husband and if she divorces, then the bride price has to be returned by the bride's family. On the other hand, if the groom divorces her the bride price has not given back. T.C.Hodson has mentioned about the bride price of the Zeliangrongs as Seven buffaloes, two daos, two spears, two strings of beads made of conch shells, two ear ornaments, two black cloths, two eating vessels, and two hoes. Traditionally, the bride price is comprised of thirteen items namely; (1) Goiroi Kanei, two buffalos, (2) Bui Kanei, two spears, (3) two eating brass vessels, (4) two cloths, (5) one dao, (6) taduie, two pairs of brass bangles,(7) nathang, two pairs of spiral armlets, (8) Pongnai, lower garment, (9) Guonkam, neckband made of conch shells,(10) shenpak, large eating brass vessel,(11) one big cock, (12) manpi, two laogais, and (13) bamlinshen, some coins.

On the fixed day, all the items of the bride price are paid to the bride's family. This is called Nouman Manmei. The acceptance of the bride price symbolizes fixation of the marriage. It also signifies that the man thereafter becomes responsible for accidents that might befall to his bride. In case of a married woman (widow), one will have to pay only one of each items and it is considered complete. However, the practice of giving and receiving of bride price is never in the sense of selling and buying of human being. But it means several ideals and values, compensating the parents for parting their daughter and symbolizing a new relationship between the two families.

It is only to observe and honour the traditional customs and the price is rather symbolic and nominal. In Zeliangrong society, marriage ceremony is not allowed to perform until the bride price is paid fully. On this particular day, the year, month and the day or date for the wedding is appointed and settled by the two parties. Under the Zeliangrong custom, a marriage is required to perform within three years counting from the day of payment of the bride price and it should not cross three year. Generally, it is accepted that courtship and engagement should long enough to ensure that each partner is aware of other's personality, needs, attitudes and goals.

A marriage is involved not only two individuals but several groups of the dormitories. The boys and girls of the dormitories will present gifts like necklaces, bangles etc. to the bride. This is locally known as TuTaTammei. It is a rite of incorporation. Like other Naga tribes, the people also give some articles such as, a large covered covered basket for keeping cloths called Khuk, five clothes, weaving implements, transporting baskets, a pig, a fowl and utensils etc. as bridal gift to their daughters at the time of marriage. This is called Lupotshumei.

Regarding the seasons of marriage, the Zeliangrongs avoid unfavorable months and cultivation period in general. Marriage requires a lot of rice and domestic animals for feasting. So, it is wise and convenient, the people think to perform marriages at a time when the granary is full. They hold marriage in November, December, January and February, when the agricultural work is completed and the granaries are full, and there is a good opportunity for bachelors to establish a home for themselves for the winter.

A marriage is usually formalized at a wedding or marriage ceremony. Among the Zeliangrongs, wedding ceremony is solemnized at the residence of the bridegroom. In the early morning of the day of wedding, a ritual called Guak-Pai-Jaomei [examination of the pig's spleen] is performed in which a healthy pig on behalf of the bride is offered to the supreme God. The spleen of the victim is examined by the present elders very careful in search for good indicators. The pig is roasted and cut into small pieces and then it is boiled. This boiled meat will be taken to the groom's house. After morning food is over, the bride takes bath and attires traditional marriage dress and costume. Then, the bride along with her companions will leave her parental house and move in the direction of the groom's village. —to be contd

A marriage is usually formalized at a wedding or marriage ceremony. Among the Zeliangrongs, wedding ceremony is solemnized at the residence of the bridegroom. In the early morning of the day of wedding, a ritual called Guak-Pai-Jaomei [examination of the pig's spleen] is performed in which a healthy pig on behalf of the bride is offered to the supreme God. The spleen of the victim is examined by the present elders very careful in search for good indicators. The pig is roasted and cut into small pieces and then it is boiled. This boiled meat will be taken to the groom's house.

After morning food is over, the bride takes bath and attires traditional marriage dress and costume. Then, the bride along with her companions will leave her parental house and move in the direction of the groom's village. When the bride arrives at the residence of the groom, the bride is warmly received by her mother-in-law and a leaf cup of drink is offered which she drinks it. Before she enters the house, she is purified with the smoke of kham, a kind of leaf. Then, she will enter the house by stepping her right foot first. This act symbolizes that the bride is incorporated into the new environment.

Finally, the marriage ceremony, Mhailakmei is performed to recognize them as husband and wife. The custom of Zeliangrong does not permit the young couple to sleep together until the Pukpaomei function is performed. It is held on the fifth day after the wedding. The groom will sleep at the Khangchu (boy's dormitory) and the bride with a female member of the family. AR Radcliffe-Brown and Daryll Forde opine, arranged marriage gives stability and cohesion not only between husband and wife but also between two families. Thus, the man has become a responsible man of the family as well as of the clan. It is marriage which gives him a soul and incorporates him into the clan.

Saamtonmei:

The elopement of two lovers who have decided to marry is called Saamtomei. It is a more or less approved means by which determined individuals can disobey their parents and choose their own mates. In this type of marriage, the consent of the parents is not taken and they elope with their own will. Mhairakmei is observed if the girl belongs to exogamous clan. Such a marriage is not considered a completely valid marriage. Consequently, the girl is not permitted to visit to her natal home as she is separated herself from her family and changed her clan to that of the boy without the consent of her parents. This is called Khamei. This creates an embitter relations between the two families. Elopement marriage is later neutralized by observing a ceremony called Dui Louduk Mhairak. It is performed at the residence of the bride. Here, the bride-price is not yet involved. The groom's family will pay the bride-price after some years say when the couple has their children. After Dui Louduk Mhairak, the two families are permitted by to visit each other families.

Noumumei:

Noumumei means the complete division of a marriage tie and that permits remarriage. William J. Goode writes, divorce may be seen as a personal misfortune for one or both spouses in any society, but it must also be viewed as a social invention, one type of escape valve for the inevitable tensions of marriage itself. In every society divorce takes place although the prevailing rules or social norms discourage it.

In Zeliangrong society also, divorce is permitted by custom but it is very rare. Bareness, adultery on the part of the woman and maltreatment toward the woman, biological defects like impotency on the husband are assumed main causes which may lead to the division of the mates. The procedure of divorce is that, the Pei, village council is convened and it is done on the initiation of the man or woman who wants to get divorce by giving a Jar of wine to the Peikai, house of Pei. The elders of Pei will try to reconcile them.

At last, there is no hope of reconciliation between the two; the initiator will get divorce from his or her partner. If the husband introduces a divorce, he has to pay Mhasi, a buffalo, a big brass vessel, and a laogai to the wife and it is sought by the wife, she has to return the bride-price to the husband. The woman along with the buffalo, a laogai and a brass vessel will be sent to her parental house escorted by the members of Pei. After divorce, children are supposed to remain with the father.

The young and nursing one can stay with the mother until the child can eat and drink solid food. When the father wants to take the child back; he is required to pay a buffalo which is supposed to compensate for the cost of bringing up the child locally called Nagongjang. In Zeliangrong society, a divorced wife and husband are permitted to remarry only after a purification ritual called Charungchuk.

This ritual is performed at the residence of the husband in which a priest purifies the couple offering a black colour fowl or dog to God with relevant hymns. The omen is read by observing the legs or spleen of the victim. They are further consecrated by contacting a slice of the mixture of Gah, turmeric, leaves of Kah plant, Ngeinem, a kind of thatch grass and blood of the victim.

In Zeliangrong society, a girl on her marriage leaves her parental house and lives in the house of her husband. Thereafter, she becomes the essential member of her husband's family. This establishes firmly the right of the husband and the paternal authority, and hence, Zeliangrong society is patriarchally organized.

Theimei (death):

Theimei (death) is the last crisis in the life cycle of an individual. It signifies the total cessation of life process that eventually happens in all living beings. The usual theory of the process of death is the separation of the soul from the body. However, the soul may move out from the body before death as in dream. Illness is held to be such a moving out from the body.

To be continued .....