Marriage rituals of the natives of South East Asia
- with special reference to Tais -
- Part 1 -

Dr Budha Kamei *

1. Introduction

The turning points in the life cycle of an individual are the critical transitions of birth, marriage and death. These rites of passage, as Van Gennep called them, are practiced universally through their number and stages of life selected vary from society to society.

They consecrate the crises and marginal situations in individual and collective life. The gravity of these events is also marked by a whole repertoire of idea regarding pollution and purification.

He argued that alterations status or movements into new statues, such as in pregnancy, childbirth, at initiation, betrothals, marriage and funerals, disturb both the life of the individual and that of the society in which he lives.

Danger lies in transitional states, as transition is indefinable, it is neither one state to another is himself in danger and emanates danger to other. The purpose of the rites of passage is to trim down the harmful effect of these disturbances.

The paper attempts to throw light on the marriage rituals of Tais inhabiting in different parts of Southeast Asia.

2. A profile of the Tais Southeast Asia is a vast fertile land inhabited by different ethnic communities. The Tais are one of them and they are wide-spread. They live in the plains of southern China and the valleys of Vietnam. In Laos and Thailand, they are the dominating people. They inhabit most of the low-lying areas of northern Myanmar and a number of Tai groups are also found in northeast India.

Thus, the Tais are found innumerable groups and sub-groups under various regional names such as Shan, Thai, Lao, Dai, Nung, Bouyi, Tai Dam, Tai Deng etc. In India, the Tai people are found inhabiting in Assam, Arunachal Pradesh and are known as Ahom, Khamti, Khamyang, Phake, Turung etc.

The institution of marriage is regarded as the backbone of all forms of human society with which we are acquitted.

To the Tais, marriage is considered as one of the important social events in the lifecycle of an individual; it serves the purpose of union of a man and a woman to set up family.

It is a necessity and customary duty for every man to get married to continue the society, although, he has to follow clan exogamy that a man must have his spouse from outside his clan and marriage within the same clan is strictly prohibited.

3. Methods and materials

The study is purely ethno-historical approach. The necessary data are based on available secondary materials of published works.

3.1 The Yuan and Lue Tais

The Shans, Ahoms, and other Tais follow two types of marriage: (a) informal and (b) arrange marriage. Among the Yuan poor farmers, they simply decide to live together and send parents along with areca, betel leaves, candles, and flowers to the groom’s parent house in order to propitiate the spirits of the house.

If the groom’s parents give approval to the match ‘suitable gifts’ are given to the bride. Bride and groom live in the house of the bride’ parent until a next daughter gets a husband. And among the Lue Tais, a betrothal date is fixed by ten elders representing both parties involved.

On the marriage day, the groom brings a cluster of one hundred betel nuts and the bride will do the same. When agreement is reached, the man deposits two hoi as bride price and the girl will present a dish of flowers and four pairs of wax candles.

The two clusters of betel nuts are distributed amongst the families of both parties and vows are exchanged between bride and groom to behave well towards each other.

The elders, together with the groom, then leave the bride’s house but at dusk the groom and some of his friends return.

At this stage the groom must carry a sword and bag for carrying betel nuts as symbol of being a real man. The groom stays for three years at the bride house, and after three years the young couple decides to set up their own house.

3.1.1 The Shans

Among the Shans of Namkham, on the morning of the wedding day bride and groom must be bathed near their respective homes. The wedding takes place in the bride’s parents’ house and early in the afternoon the groom is escorted in procession to that house by a group of men.

The elder members of the groom offer to the bride’s father a number of baskets full of different kinds of foods. Amongst these articles the important are four eggs and two salted fish.

The representatives then formally ask for the bride and after a proper hesitation and show of reluctance, the bride’s family give in to the request. The groom leads the bride to a low table and the couple eats curry and rice in the presence of the wedding guests.

The reminder of the bride price is paid and in the procession the bride is escorted to the groom’s house where she is led to her parents-in-law.

Before the evening she will be advised by an old woman who will tell her where the wedding bed must be placed, and that she must sleep on the left of the bed, even if her husband is not present.

3.1.2 The black Tais

When a boy does wish to open negotiations they send an intermediary with presents like betel, tobacoo, some victuals and a gold ring or necklace if they can afford it.

If the proposal is accepted, wedding details like bride price and dowry would be discussed. In an auspicious day, the groom goes in procession to the bride’s house, clad in traditional festive attire, complete with a knife in his belt. The go-betweens carry the bride price.

The sealing of the marriage traditionally consists of a ceremonial exchange of betel between the two young people, the presentation of the bride price and its acceptance in the presence of the witnesses. The important part of the wedding ceremony is also the presentation of the young man to the spirits of the forefathers. The bride also will venerate her husband ancestors and promise to respect them.

It is done at the groom’s house. After the marriage the couple should normally settle in the groom parents’ household if no other married children live there, otherwise the married couple may settle anywhere.

According to Somsonge Burusphat, Jerold A Edmonson and Megan Sinnott, “Marriages are arranged by the parents. Custom requires that the boy spend a service period working for his fiancée’s parents. Sons of nobles are expected to do from 8 to 10 years of service, while a briefer period is required of commoners.

After the service period, the marriage takes place and the girl’s parents must present the groom with a dowry.

The only exemption to the service rule is when the fiancée’s family does not have males to assist with cultivation, in which case the marriage may take place immediately after preliminary arrangements have been completed, and the groom goes to live with his wife’s family.”


to be continued .....