Traditional marriage institutions of Kabuis
- Part 3 -

By:- Dr Budha Kamei *

Chamiloumei : Marrying a girl by way of selling to a man is called Chamioumei. The consent of the girl is not seldom taken. (Rajat Kanti Das: opcit, p.37.) This type of marriage happened when the parents of the bride cannot repay the debt to a particular person. To neutralise the debt the parents give the hand of their daughter to the person whom they borrowed or to repay the debt, the parents sell her daughter to a particular person in a fixed price. This form of marriage had not been heard for pretty long time in the Kabui society.

Nimjaimei (Marriage by capture) : Acquiring a spouse by means of capture is locally known as Nimjaimei. The Nagas practice marriage by capture by adopting the method of physical capture. (L.P. Vidyaarthi and B.K. Rai: 1985, The Tribal Culture of India, Concept Publishing Company, New Delhi, p. 282.) Here, the consent of the parents of the bride is not taken and it is also questionable about the consent of the bride.

In Kabui society if the girl has spent a night with the man she will be treated as a married woman. The elders of Pei will make an interrogation to the girl about her readiness to be the wife of the man, her clan and she is a free person. If the girl answers willingly to accept the man who captured her as her husband, Mhairakmei is performed.

If the girl answers—no, no marriage ceremony is performed and she will be sent to her parents under the protection of Pei, the village court. Fine called Goiton is imposed upon the man for violating the existing social code. Arnold Van Gennep writes, marriage by capture may be interpreted as a capture from the female sex. (Arnold Van Gennep: opcit, p.126.)

Nou Mhangmei (Marriage by residing in the house of the bride): It is actually spouse selection by negotiation in which bride service takes the place of or supplements the bride-price by bride-service. (MakhanJha: opcit, p.52-53) In the custom, as the term bride service implies whereby a husband is required to spend a period of time working for the family of his bride. Bride service is the second most common form of marital exchange; it is the compensation given to the family of a bride.

In this type of marriage, the boy will go and live in the house of the bride. Because bride service normally accompanies matri-patrilocal residence and is also common under matrilocal residence. (George Peter Murdrock: 1960, Social Structure, Macmillan Company, New York, p.20.) Mhairakmei is performed. The boy has to render services to the parents of the bride for a term of years to substitute the bride-price. It is regarded that five years is equivalent to half of the bride-price and ten years to complete the bride-price.

(A Seminar paper presented by Benjamin Gangmei on "Customs and Laws of Marriage in Rongmei Soceity", Orgnised by Don Bosco past Pupils, Tamenglong, 1994, p.2.) Robert H. Lowie opines that the main idea of the bottom of such tasks is of course to make sure that the young man is capable of providing for a family. (Robert H. Lowie: opcit, p.2l.)

"When a family has daughters but no son, an exception to the customary patrilocal rule is made in the case of one daughter, who is married without the usual bride-price and whose husband comes to reside matrilocally with her parents and takes, "the place of a son". (George Peter Murdrock: opcit, p.21.) In Kabui society, this type of marriage also takes in case when there is no male heir in the family of the bride (Robert H. Lowie: opcit, p.69.) or when there is no one to look after the house if the girl removes from the house.

Saamtonmei (marriage by elopement): The elopement of two lovers who have decided to wed is called Saamtomei. It is a more or less approved means by which determined individuals can disobey their parents and choose their own mates. (Makhan Jha: opcit, p.56.) In this marriage, the consent of the parents is not taken and they elope with their own will. Tingpui Marui Mhairak is observed if they belong to exagamous clans. Such a marriage is not considered a completely valid marriage.

Consequently, the girl is not allowed to visit to her natal home as she is separated herself from her family and changed her clan to that of the boy without the consent of her parents. This is called Khamei. (Tingkao & Ragwang ChapRiak: Kashoi Kadam, Unpublished, p.l8.) This creates an embitter relation between the two families. George peter Murdock says, elopement is legitimized later by carrying out the customary ceremonies. (George Peter Murdock: opcit, 1960, p.20.)

To regularized and neutralized the marriage, a ritual ceremony called Dui Louduk Mhairak is performed at the residence of the bride. During the performance of this ritual, a complete genna called Neimei is observed. In this type of marriage, bride-price is not yet paid. The groom's family will pay the bride-price after some years say when the couple has their children. After this ritual, the two families are permitted to visit each other families and villages.

Preferential marriage : Marriage of a man with the maternal uncle's daughter is considered to be the most preferred union in Kabui society (K.S. Singh (Ed.): Manipur in People of India, Anthropological Survey of India, Calcutta, 1998, p.59.). Since it renews and strengthens the already established relation between the two families. (A.R. Radcliffe-Brown and Daryll Forde (Ed.): opcit, p.66.) This is locally known as Kanei Pidoi Kadoimei meanng a girl is to serve the sister of her father. (Rajat Kanti Das: opcit, p.37).

Prohibited marriage : Inter-clan marriage is called Tampui- Tampu which means brother-sister marriage. (Ibid, p.35). It is a taboo called Nuhmei and strictly prohibited. (Zeliangrong Customs (prohibited Marriage) Code, 1995, Issued by Z.C.C. p.3). If a man acts against this social and moral code of conduct (if such marriage takes place), the family of the man has to pay to the Pei (village court) a pig, one Jar of wine as fine (Ibid.) and a cock for calling the paddy (Napkaomei).

It is believed that the village will have poor crops in the year because of the tabooed marriage. (William C. Smith: The Ao Naga Tribe of Assam, Mittal Publications, New Delhi, 2002, p. 56.) The pig is killed and a small piece of it is distributed to every household of the village as a note that anyone who breaks the existing social code will meet the same fate.

No Mhairakmei is accomplished for the taboo marriage. There is no payment of bride-price and no fine is imposed at the time of divorce since they belong to the same clan. At the time of death also, no Theigui (it is a custom for the parents or brothers of the woman to offer a bird or an animal for their deceased daughter or sister as a mark of respect) is offered by her parents or brothers. Both the spouses are prohibited from participating in all the socio-religious functions of the village throughout their married life. (Rajat Kanti Das: opcit, Pp.35-36.) It is believed that such couple is wanted by lightening and wild animals.

To normalise the tabooed marriage, a purification rite called Mhaikhoumei is performed in which the clothes of the couple are burnt. It is completed at the western gate of the village called Neikeilou Rang. Another tabooed form of marriage is known as Tankhi, which is to the daughter of his father's sister. Such mates are compelled for division otherwise expulsion from the village is inevitable. (Interview with Panmei Lanchonglung (75) Chairman Zeliangrong Union Pei on 12th April 2006.)

Mandu (Bones price of wife): The term Mandu denotes the price of bones of the deceased wife. (R. Brown: 2001, Statistical Account of Manipur, Mittal Publications, New Delhi, p.26.). It is a distinguishing and peculiar custom of the people. Under this custom, the living husband or his children have to pay the Mandu to the family of his deceased wife (Rajat Kanti Das: opcit, p.39.) when demand is made by the deceased wife's family, Colonel McCullock writes that "On the death of a man's wife the extraordinary practice exists of taking from her husband 'Mundoo' or 'the price of her bones'.

If he be alive, this will be demanded by her father, in fault of the father by her nearest of kin. Mundoo is also payable on the death of their children. On each demand of Mundoo the demander kills a pig; the Mundoo or price is fixed at one buffalo. No Mundoo is payable for persons killed by enemies or wild beasts, or whose death has been caused by any swelling, or the cholera, or smallpox. (T.C. Hodson : The Naga Tribes of Manipur, Low Price Publications, Delhi, 1996, p.92.)

There is no traditional marital alliance between the two families; once the Mandu is taken. (K.S. Singh, (Ed.) 1998, Manipur in People of India, vol. - xxxi, Anthropological Survey of India, Calcutta, p.60.) T.C. Hodson explains, the existence of the custom of Mandu certainly proves that the interest of the clan of origin of any woman is not completely destroyed by her marriage and severance from them. (T.C. Hodson : opcit, p.71.) This custom is not yet annulled but it is believed a rather selfish and insulting demand; so it has been gradually forgotten.

Noumumei (Divorce) : Divorce means, the complete division of the tie by which the parties were united (New Standard Encyclopedia, vol.-iv, Standard Educational Corporation, Chicago, 1981, p.d-199.) and that pennits remarriage. William J. Goode writes, "Divorce may be seen as a personal misfortune for one or both spouses in any society, but it must also be viewed as a social invention, one type of escape valve for the inevitable tensions of marriage itself". (William J. Goode : 1965, The Family, Prentice Hall of India, Pvt. Ltd. New Delhi, p.92.) In every society divorce takes place although the prevailing rules or social norms discourage it.

In Kabui society, divorce is permitted by custom but it is very rare. Bareness, adultery on the part of the woman (Major P.R.T. Gordon, The Khasis, Delhi, 1975, p.91) and maltreatment toward the woman, biological defects like impotency on the husband are assumed main causes which may lead to the division of the mates. I. Cchapera opines that the causes of divorce may be fragment ill usage, excessive cruelty, or no-support on the part of the husband, and wanton capriciousness, or no perfonnance of domestic duties on the part of the wife. (I. Schapera: A handbook of Iswand Law and Custom, Frank Cass & Co. Ltd. 1970, p.159.)

The procedure of divorce is that, the village court (Pei) is convened and it is done on the initiation of the man or woman who wants to get divorce by giving a Jar of wine to the Peikai. The Pei elders will try their best level to bring a mutual understanding. At last, there is no understanding between the two; the initiator will get divorce from his or her partner.

If the husband introduces a divorce, he has to pay Mhasi—a cattle and a big brass vessel, a hoe (Laogai) to the wife and it is sought by the wife, she has to return the bride-price (Nouman) to the husband. (personal interview with Panmei Lanchonglung (75) Chairman Zeliangrong Union Pei on 12th April 2006) The woman along with the cattle and a brass vessel will be sent to her parental house escorted by the Changlois. After divorce, the children will remain with the father. The young and nursing child may stay with the mother and when the father wants to get the child back, he has to pay Nagongjang—a cattle for bringing up the child to the mother (Ibid).

In Kabui Society, a divorced wife and husband are not allowed to remarry until a ritual called Charungchuk is performed. (Tigkao Ragwang Chap Riak : Kashoi Kadam, Unpublished, p.76.) .

Among the Kabui, as we have seen a girl on her marriage leaves her parents' home and lives in the house of her husband's family. She will worship the ancestors of her husband not that of her parents. This establishes firmly the right of the husband and the patemai authority; and thus Kabui society is patriarchal organized.

Concluded...