Traditional marriage institutions of Kabuis
- Part 1 -

By:- Dr Budha Kamei *

Jeremy Tylor says, "A good wife is heaven's last, best gift to man, his gem of many virtues, his casket of jewels; her voice is sweet music, her smiles, his brightess day, her kiss the guardian of his innocence, her arms the pale of his safest, her industry his surest wealth," her economy his safest steward, her lips his faithful eounsellors, her bosom the softest-pillow of his cares". (Tryon Edwards (Compiled) : 1999, The World's Greatest Quotations, an Encyclopedia of Quotations, Crest Publishing House, New Delhi, First Editions, p.698.)

Noushonmei (Marriage)

Edvard Westermarck defines marriage "as a relation of one or more men to one or more women which is recognised by custom or law, and involves certain rights and duties both in the case of the parties entering the union and in the case of the children of it. "(Edvard Westermarck : 1921, The History of Human Marriage, vol-I, p.71, ISBN 0766146189). In Kabui society, marriage is the union of a male and female to set up a family with societal and religious assent, in which the consent of the mates, their parents and the elders of the village have to be given.

Tradition says, "Marriages are made in Heaven". (Maurice Freedman: 1979, The Study of Chinese Society Essays, Stanford University Press, California, p.261). Tingkao Ragwang Kaithu Shamsuiloumei means that those whose hair had been bound in the abode of Tingkao Ragwang and in the marriage hymn: Gouna Gana Kum King Kubamkadutho meaning Let their offspring be born as many as that of toads and crabs furnish a clear picture that the supreme God, Tingkao Ragwang had already made man and woman in double by binding their hair together in His heavenly abode to become husband and wife in the world and to command the world on his behalf by extending throughout the surface of the earth.

Thus, marriage is a relationship authorised by God and it should last until the mates are divided by death. (Garrick Baily and James peoples: 1999, Introduction to Cultural Anthropology, WardsWorth publishing Company, p.1lO). G. Bernard Shaw speaks,. "What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder: God will take care of thaf'. (Tryon Edwards (Compiled): opcit.p.373). The institution of marriage is regarded as the backbone of all forms of human society with which we are acquainted.

Myths, legends, traditions and also the marriage hymn have supplied hints regarding the origin of marriage institution. One of the important clues is that of marriage between the son of Pauna, the king of worldly gods and the daughter of his eldest brother, Bisnu God. This relation is locally known as Bisnu Geng-Geng and Ragwang geng­geng but this kind of marriage is impossible in the human world and strictly prohibited.

Another clue is the marriage of Pokrei and Dichalu, the first man and woman on the surfae of the Earth. In the beginning, they were brother and sister but fmally with the initiation of God they both decided to get married and become the first couple on the surface of the earth in the form of cross cousin marriage.

The third clue may refer to the marriage hymn, Mhairakmei which is in the form of narration. A village was founded by two friends and one of them was desired a wife to establish a family. They searched first at downstream, Duibah, and finally to the upstream, Duipih found an unbetrothed girl and a proposal was made to her to be a wife of one of them. She accepted and lived at the house of the boy but she sat idle. Oracle, Pubumei was consulted to find out the cause of the behaviour of the girl and suggested to perform the Mhairakmei (an act of marriage). After Mhairakmei, she became active and worked hard of the house like the smart cow with tail raised. (Gangmumei Kamei : 2004, The History of Zeliangrong Nagas From Makhel to Rani Gaidinliu, Spectrum Publications, Guwahati/Delhi, Pp.256-257).

In Kabui society, marriage is treated not a simple social contract but a sacrament. A marriage relation cannot be disunited because it contains rite and rituals accomplished in the name of Tingkao Ragwang. On the day of marriage, an elder of Pei who officiates as priest will perform the Mhairakmei offering a cock, a hoe and a ginger to Tingkao Ragwang for long life, prosperity, and a long line of generation. It is a compulsory rite and without which, the relationship is considered incomplete. After this performance, they are recognised as husband and wife. Thus, it may be stated that marriage among the Kiabuis is a religious sacrament.

The institution of marriage is established to regulate the relations between sexes and to determine the legitimacy of a child in the society. (James Hastings (Ed): Encyclopaedia of Religion and Ethics, vol. -viii, CharcIes Scribener's Sons, New York, p. 423.). Therefore, marriage is not grounded upon the sentiment, but upon necessity and duty. (L.H Morgan: 1982, Ancient Society, Indian Edition, Calcutta, p.484). There are rules and regulations which cover the sex relations and the procreation of children.

Every member is expected to follow and obey certain norms of the society. In Kabui society, it is an important characteristic that women are expected to be virgins before marriage. (R. Vashum: 2000, Nagas Right to Self Determination, An Anthropological-Historical Perspective, Mittal Publications, New Delhi, p.l4.). Procreation of children without social and religious sanction of a marriage is scowled. (Lucy Mair: 1984, An Introduction to Social Anthropology, New Delhi, p.83)

The ceremonies of marriage have involved a series of rites and the main purpose of the ceremonies is to give fertility, protection from evil forces and prosperity to the young couple. These rites are at the same time sympathetic of contagious animistic of dynamistic, direct or indirect and positive or negative. These consist in the process of separation, transition and incorporation. (Arnold Van Gennep: 1960, The Rites of Passage, First Published, London, p.117.)

Among the Kabuis, marriage is regarded as one of the most important events in the life of an individual. According to Bronislow Malinowski, "At any age varying with climate and race and stretching from about the ninth to the fifteen year, the child enters upon the age of puberty". (Bronislow Malinowski: 1960, Sex and Repression in Savage Society, London, p.59). At the ages of fourteen and fifteen years, both the girls and boys come out of babyhood. At this age, they usually sit near the elders and learn from them the way to become fatherhood and motherhood. Now, they are ready for marriage. J.P. Mills writes, "unless physically deformed or an imbecile every Naga marries". (J.P. Mills: 1980, The Rengma Naga, Spectrum Publications, Indian Edition, Guwahati; p.205.).

Generally, a boy marries between eighteen and twenty five and girl between fifteen and twenty one. The age of a boy is higher than that of a girl, because he must have source of income before he gets married. (K.B. Singh: 1961, Census of India, Ethnographic Note on the Kabui of Manipur, vol.-xxii, Manipur, Part - v-A, p.7.) Monogamy, the union of one man and one woman, is the prototype of human marriage and its most widely accepted form, predominantly also in societies in which other forms of marriage are accepted. (Funk and Wagnalls, New Encyclopaedia, vol.-xvi, Funk and Wagnalls, Inc, New York, p.40.).

It is the general rule and the most popular one in Kabui society. Samuel Johnson says, "No man can have two wives, but by preventing somebody else from having one". (T.B. Bottomore: 1986, Sociology, Bombay, p. 176.) Monogamy may be called as non-serial monogamy because an individual has the same single mate life long.

Polygamy though not prohibited, is a very rare case and concubinage is not at all, tolerated. (Naorem Sanajaoba (Ed.): 1995: Manipur: Past and Present, vol.-iii, Nagas & Kuki : Chin, Mittal publications, New Delhi, First Edition, p400.) Polyandry is totally absent. Child marriage is not existed and adult marriage is the rule. Widower remarriage is permitted without any loss of respect or social stigma in the society. (William C. Smith: 2002, The Ao-Naga Tribe of Assam, Mittal Publications, New Delhi, p.56.)

There are defmite rules regulating whom the members of the community may and may not marry. They strictly follow clan exogamy. (Robert H. Lowie, Primitive Society, Cosmo Publications, 2004, p.15.) In reverse, marrying within the tribe is the rule (endogamy) (Satinder Kumar (Ed.): 2000, Encyclopedia of South Asian Tribes, vol.-viii, Anmol Publications, New Delhi, p. 2456.) and they are not encouraged to have wife from outside the tribe. There are four exogamous clans namely; Kamei, Golmei, Gangmei and Longmei. (Rajat Kanti Das: 1985, Manipur: Tribal Scence: Studies in Society and Change, inter India Publications, New Delhi, p.35.)

Universally, the mating between parent and child, brother and sister is strictly prohibited. (Robert H. Lowie: opcit, p.14.) "Each clan is an exogamous unit and a man cannot marry a woman if she belongs to the same clan. A man cannot marry his father's brother's daughter or mother's sister's daughter because parallel cousins are regarded as taboo and marriage with any of them is unthinkable.

However, marriage with mother's brother's daughter is allowed and preferred. When the parents of a boy are in search of a bride for their son, boy's mother will fIrst ask for the hands of her brother's daughter if any, better before looking for other girls. It is also obligatory on the part of a man to offer his daughter in marriage to the son of his sister. Marriage with father's sister's daughter is not permissible". (K.B. Singh: opcit, p.8.) Like Meithei, they are not permitted to marry people of their own kin and to violate this rule. It is taboo. (T.C. Hudson: 1975, The Meitheis. B.R. Publishing Corporation, Delhi, p.75.)

According to Yalman, 'Brother and sister must be separated, but their offspring must be united'. (N. Yalman: 1967, Under the Bo Tree, University of Califonia Press, p.27.) "In traditional China it was prohibited for a person marry anyone with the same surname". (David L. Sills (Ed.): 1968, Marriage: Family Formation, International Encyclopaedia of the Social Sciences, vol.-ix-x, Macmillan Company & the Free Press, New York, p.5.)

There is no evidence of any linked marriage among the Kabui: "a man with his wife's brother's daughter, a woman with her husband's sister son; a man with his sister's daughter and a woman with her brother's son". (Rajat Kanti Das: opcit, p.37.) The society prohibits such oblique marriages. Arnold Van Gennep explains, "Marriage constitute the most important of the transitions from one social category to another, because one of the spouses it involves a change of family, clan, village or tribe and sometimes newly married couple even establish residence in a new house".

To be continued...