Precedent Rodent : The new architect of floods
- A satirical dispatch -

Usham Rojio *

Precedent Rodent : The new architect of floods :: Pix - TSE / Usham Rojio

Flood has become an annual ritual. Last year, one of Manipur's ever-wise MLAs graced us with an unforgettable revelation : the floods that submerged fields and homes weren't due to silted rivers, broken embankments, or misgovernance—no, dear citizens, it was the mouses.

Yes, the humble, whiskered field mice had apparently risen en masse to dig holes along riverbanks, armed with nothing but their tiny claws and an unquenchable thirst for destruction.

And now, as waters once again rise and schools turn into aquariums, we must ask : who is to blame this year? Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the new enemy of the State : Precedent Rodent (PR, for short).

Not to be confused with Constitutional machinery, Precedent Rodent is a far more insidious creature.

Since the State Assembly has gone for a snooze, Precedent Rodent has crept in—tail curled, teeth bared, and clipboard in paw. With a bureaucrat's cold efficiency and a rat's talent for bunowing, PR has taken over where the mice left off.

Where last year holes were dug at the riverbank, this year Precedent Rodent digs holes in accountability. Dams don't break, they resign. Drainage systems aren't clogged, they're just observing "non-cooperation day."

And when a bridge collapses, it's not concrete failure—it's an emotional response to administrative absence. Under PR's rule, even the rain seems more enthusiastic.

The clouds, emboldened by the lack of elected scolding, pour down with wild abandon. Rivers overflow not because of deforestation, but because they miss being ribbon-cut by Ministers.

Relief efforts arrive not late, but fashionably so—after all, Precedent Rodent has a reputation to uphold. Citizens have started whispering legends.

Some say PR lives beneath the Chef Mistrel's old desk, others say he travels via State helicopters, invisible and omnipresent, nibbling at files and policies alike.

Whatever the truth, one thing is clear: under Precedent Rodent's watch, governance has become a game of hide-and-squeak.

But worry not ! A crack team of pest control specialists is being flown in from Delhi, armed with rat traps, Court orders, and ceremonial brooms.

Meanwhile, local leaders (wherever they are hiding) have vowed to "take strong steps," presumably after the waters recede and photo-ops can be arranged on dry land.

Until then, dear Manipuris, keep your boats ready, your roofs patched, and your sarcasm sharper than ever.

Because in this land of mythical mice and majestic rodents, satire might just be our last form of disaster management .