Just what I see in 'Love' these days

Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam *

Loving someone without any process ? How is that even possible ? I know this might sound very much off trend but this will be helpful for a lot of young adolescents. Most of all this time I have been told or taught that 'Love is an Art.' And there are processes and protocols in love. And sadly people at times race in the process but not for the enigma. Let me break it down further.

We now live in a time where the amount of love is judged by your in-laws with how much you get in your pocket per month. Listen, this might be something you have heard a lot but is it not scary ? Living in a world where process is given more importance than the lover. Yes - with no remorse I will stand tall with the fact that it is an art.

But it will be a sad thing if all change themselves into artists of love for they are not looking hungrily for the end but for the love of the process. An artist with no patience will scrap a page when he/she is not satisfied with his/her work. Well ! I think that principal is being directly poured in. Morning text to goodnight kisses, from Valentine's day to break up days, the feelings seem to have been marketised.

There was a time when 'I LOVE YOU' came slow and long. But nowadays, it's nothing but just a hobby. When you are bored, people find someone to share, not to a friend but a little more comfortable one. And when they think one's not enough, they get above one. That's the game.

I know love is, first and foremost, an emotion—but one that is, more than most emotions, rooted in our bodies and in the ways our bodies age together. I'm not just referring to the vagaries of lust, though that can lead to romantic love.

As love grows and deepens, it lights up some parts of our nervous system and dims others. The importance of feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine may decline over the course of a relationship—but a love that reaches maturity will bind the lovers on a neurological level.

How much ever love might sound amazing to you, let me tell you what exactly is happening. Just some nasty ways - you keep me happy and I will keep you happy, if I am not happy with you, I will leave you without giving it a second chance. Second, you do not share your problem with me but I will share and you have to listen and reply properly.

Then if you tell me your problem, again I am not here to listen to you, but you have to listen to mine. Third, I will love you and promise to be with you as long as my parents fix my marriage somewhere else because you know I love my parents when they fix my marriage to an NRI or with a person having 6-figure salary in a month.

Fourth, I will give you what you want and you will give me what I want and after that if we get totally bored (physically/mentally ), we will break-up saying 'it's not working anymore.'

You will remain presentable all the time and I don't need to be presentable as I am already good looking, so be presentable so that while introducing you with my friends I should not feel embarrassed.

When you think of the men and women of your grandparents' generation, there are a lot more marriages that lasted in their generation than in ours. They didn't have the options we did to end a bad relationship and while I'm glad we have the freedom to end dangerous or emotionally abusive relationships, perhaps we've gone a little too far in the throwaway viewpoint ?

These days it seems to be that we consider love in black and white. He gets loud and uncouth when he drinks ? Dropped. He looks at dirty pictures ? Dumped. He talks to other girls (not in a flirty way, just talks to them) Kicked to the curb. He lives too far away and it's hard. Break-up.

Our grandparents went to war. They left their loved ones behind and they couldn't send a text or pop on Facebook to say "Hey bae, all good here". The people left behind went months or years without even knowing if the person they loved was alive or dead.

I think having that terrifying uncertainty does a lot towards making you see how valuable a person is in your life. I worked in an Oncology ward and I came to realize that life is fleeting, precious and tenuous.

We should value the beautiful things we have, because in the blink of an eye, they can be gone.