Just a little courage for the word 'No'

Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam *

It rained on me - for all I asked was the power to say ‘NO.’ Oh my! Why is it so hard for me to say NO to which I happily like to disagree with. Chewing words of WHYs and HOWs for I fear WHAT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK if I say NO to those I just want to say NO to.

Chaining my days to come with commitments concerning my avoided voice. Darkness was what I saw, yet still for the cause of being with all, I stood for YES. Oh! I wish I had a little courage to say NO.

To all and sundry who wished and prayed to be graced with this courage, trust me - push a little more. To those who think that your NO might hurt someone, trust me - push a little more. To those who care about what he/she might feel after your NO, trust me - they don’t really care.

There was a time when ‘STRONGS’ were there with big muscles but now, it’s the time for those who have the courage to say NO when they feel like it. Do you know a simple word ‘NO’ can help prevent 80% of the molestation of women?

Do you know these simple words ‘NO I DON’T WANT TO’ can help prevent 94% of the lung cancer patients caused by smoking? Listen to be please - don’t let this word NO hold you hostage, let it go.

High achievers are driven and want to accomplish things, and because of that, it is easy to get caught up in doing more and more. However, if we aren’t careful, we will miss out on the very things that matter most to us. Saying yes to everything is not the path to true success. In fact, if you aren’t careful, it could become your undoing. This realization came for me unexpectedly.

Let me give you an example, say I was working in my office on a project when I received a call from a good friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time. We both had very full schedules with our work and family responsibilities.

“When can you get together?” she asked me. “Just a moment. Let me pull up my calendar,” I responded. I looked at the next week – nothing available. Then the following week – nothing either.

The seconds become minutes as I scrolled through my calendar, finding it so jam packed that between my schedule and hers we couldn’t find a time to get together for two months. Two months! After some juggling we finally nailed down a time, and laughed together about how ridiculously busy we both were.

Such a simple story, and a big realization. I had said yes to so many things, that I didn’t have time for something I really wanted to do. What a tragedy it would be to get so caught up in saying yes to everything that comes along, that without knowing it you take away precious time from your most important priorities. Yet this happens so easily that oftentimes we don’t even notice. Can you relate to this?

Let’s face it: there is only so much time in a day. We all have the same 24 hours– it is up to us to be intentional in how we use them. Part of this intentionality is learning how to say no. I have adopted the discipline in my own life to eliminate unnecessary tasks and narrow down my “to do” list to my top priorities.

Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. Saying no doesn’t mean you are not capable and able to help. It simply means you can’t help right now and still do all the things you have already committed to.

To have the successful life you desire, you must be disciplined to say “no” more than you say “yes.” Prioritize. Figure out what really matters. Then build your life and schedule around those things and those things only.

Lastly, please remember that success comes when you have the courage to say NO when you know it’s needed.