Women must understand women

Seram Neken *

TG Higher Secondary School students protesting rape of a TG Hr Sec Student on 25 October 2012
Pix - Banti Phurailatpam

Observance of International fortnight protesting violence against women and its relevance in Manipur:
Behind every successful man, there is always a woman. But, it is not said that there is a man behind every successful woman. It obviously indicates a unique sense of responsibility attached to the other half of humanity. Educating a woman is educating the whole family. Empowering women is empowering the society. However, it is disheartening that most cases of domestic violence, coercion and mishandling against women in Manipur involve one or the other woman of the family.

Gender-based crimes have been a regular feature in Manipur. Thousands of women and girls of the state are victims of both reported and unreported domestic violence, murders, rapes and sexual assaults. At least eight girls have been reported either raped or murdered since mid-August this year. Many more crimes remain unreported for fear of social discrimination. Most reported cases are in want of proper investigation and delivery of justice. Observance of International fortnight protesting crimes against women from 25 November to 10 December this year is highly relevant in Manipur, in view of the increasing violence against women and girls of the state.

Most Manipuri women face hardships in earning, feeding and serving families. Women who go to market for earning a living have also to do lots of things from household cleansing, washing clothes, morning prayer to preparing meals, feeding the child and husband etc. Many women are still living under coercion of their husbands and in-laws. Women are always victims, if their husbands indulge in immoral activities. There are also men who forcibly take money from their wives to use drugs and to have drinks and also men who live with second wives out side families.

Besides activating law enforcement agencies, women need to respect their own folk so as to ameliorate their status. A woman seldom praises another woman in the family, in locality or in society. Mothers, sisters, daughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law etc. themselves mete out discourteous and disrespectful acts of vandalism against their own sex. Generally women perpetrate their own issues and degrade their own folks instead of praising themselves and working towards their uplift. Of course, there are also lots of criminal violence perpetrated by men against women.

Nowadays, the status of women in Manipuri society has somewhat been improved. Earlier, ladies role in important seminars, workshops and functions was generally limited to badge-pinning of VIPs, bouquet presentations and tea distribution. Mandatory participation of women in discussions and deliberations were seldom seen. However, with the appearance of a number of women intellectuals, journalists, social workers, politicians and officials in present day Manipur, the number of women delegates, lecturers and resource persons in various intellectual exercises has increased considerably.

Women obviously no longer remain backward and downtrodden. The status of women is almost at par with the opposite sex. In families, in workplaces, government offices, colleges, schools, universities etc., women play greater role and take greater responsibility than men.

In middle class families of Manipur, many men are doing domestic works like the women in order to harmoniously maintain the family. Today, both the parents are made to engage their time and energy at the maximum in upbringing children. No wonder, men have to cook food, wash clothes, clean the floors and teach the children to assist their better halves. Roles of men and women have almost become the same in family maintenance.

From intellectuals, scholars and teachers to doctors and engineers, from journalists, columnists and news anchors to security officers and administrators, from artists and poets to sport stars, from politicians and social workers to successful entrepreneurs; there is no dearth of Manipuri women occupying responsible positions. Present day Manipur has given birth to bright ladies - it is proud that Manipuri women have entered in the Indian Administrative service, other than the state civil services and state police services. Manipur University has a number of women professors, associate professors and so on, besides a host of lecturers teaching in colleges and schools. In reputed private schools, lady teachers take a big share as compared to men counterparts.

Responsible government posts such as Superintendent of Police in vigilance department, Directors of Social Welfare department, Art & Culture and SCERT, Deputy Superintendent of Police (Traffic) in Imphal city, many other officers at the rank of Joint Secretaries, Deputy Secretaries, SDOs, SDPOs, Finance services, SDCs etc. are held by Manipuri women at present.

A number of Manipuri ladies are also serving as medical officers in the RIMS, JNIMS and other private and outside hospitals. Young Manipuri ladies are also serving as responsible positions in multi-national companies outside the state and even abroad. There are also lady news reporters, sub-editors, news readers, anchors who are in media houses of the state. In politics and social service, we have enough number of women holding responsible positions - Chairpersons of various local bodies, commissions, boards etc. Manipuri women are also sitting as Judges and Magistrates, besides a number of lady advocates in various Law courts of Manipur.

Most unfortunate thing is that most women lack understanding of their own folk. There is often a woman involved in perpetrating violence against another woman. In families, localities and society at large, a woman often try to subdue another woman. When the son indulges in unwanted behaviour outside the family, no mother bothers seriously. But when the daughter-in-law does a tiny mistake in family, the mother-in-law scolds and even ostracise, as if the former has committed an irreparable mistake in life.

The vice-versa also happens in many families. Instead of sustaining and forgiving her gender counterpart, a woman tries to suppress and depress a woman. Women issues are perpetrated mostly by women, against women. Women themselves should take greater role in empowering themselves than the men. While protesting against crimes on women, the society needs to educate women to understand themselves. Until and unless women fully appreciate their own folk in the society, one half of the humanity will not get relief from atrocities and crimes.