Through the lens of a Single Woman
- Part 1 -
AK Sophia *
A girl catches up on her study before dusk sets in :: Pix - TSE
If I was comfortable being alone, I wonder why the rest of the world was so uncomfortable with it??? - AK Sophia
If you ever thought that life as a single woman is bliss, I would like you to think again. There have been a number of times when I wish I had a partner or I was married. But fate deemed it otherwise, so here I am, happily single, writing down my experiences.
Women and machines normally do not gel well but at times you have to learn about it by default. I knew nothing about nuts and bolts, why the car died or how to figure out what was wrong by just listening to the car.
With my car, came a series of learning about automobiles, regular servicing, wheel rotation, brake oil, clutch, wind screen, spare tire and the art of changing them. In all the four years that I have gone to get my car serviced, I met another lady only once, doesn't that say something???
And then to top it all, the mechanics look at you like a dumb bimbo when you ask them to explain something all over again. It is at such times that I wish I could say, Honey, could you please get the car serviced????
I love movies; it is one of my favorite pastimes. But ever since I have come to the hills, in the absence of a theater I have to make do with watching movies on my tiny notepad. That's not really the same experience unfortunately.
While I was in the city, it was a challenge to co-ordinate everybody's schedule, timing and most of all, what movie to see. In the bargain, I missed out on a number of movies that I so wanted to see.
That's when I took to seeing movies alone. That was an experience and when I do remember them at times, I could laugh like crazy. I would ask for a single ticket, and always the seat right at the start or end of the row, nothing in between.
Standing all alone in the line waiting to get in was a task in itself, it made me uncomfortable. All those stares could have put a big hole in my head. But I was not daunted, I continued on with my movie jaunts.
However it all ended when an awe-struck gentleman decided to dump his entire load of popcorn on me, just because I was watching the movie alone. He didn't do it deliberately but he was so busy checking me out and so totally surprised. The sad part was that the woman with him was equally surprised. I also gave it up because I was equally tired of pretending that all the attention was not affecting me adversely.
Following my experience, now I always ask somebody to come along. At times, I want their company but at times I don't but nonetheless, they get a free ticket to a movie, though of my choice:. One of the constant things in my bag these days would be a book or a note-pad with a pen. Both things served me well in my travel.
When I go into a coffee shop, I would sit and read my book or write down things in my notepad. By all means, I could be writing nonsense or reading the same page again & again. But this would deter a lot of people looking for company.
If I was comfortable being alone, I wonder why the rest of the world was so uncomfortable with it???
Most times, I walk into parties alone or with my friends (who are married, booked or hooked). All goes well till the time somebody finds out that I am single. Then there would be a line of over enthusiastic Romeos trying to hit on you.
At times, you crave attention from men but believe me this is the kind of attention you can do without. To be politically correct, I would put this down to the protective instinct that men possess in high quantity. By the end of the day, I would have a headache trying to make conversation about the weather, laughing at mindless jokes.
In one instance, I had even caught hold of an unsuspecting friend and informed my ardent admirer that I was going back home with my friend. With men, subtlety just does not work. These days, I have got around to wearing a ring on my wedding finger. Trust me, it does magic :
There are days when you get bogged down, by the utility bills that has become a heap on your dining table, the gas that has run out, the car that refuses to run smoothly, the maid who has fallen sick, the piles of household chores that you have to do, the deadline that has been long forgotten. And you do get bogged down a lot by all the people who think that you have no right to drive a flashy car if you can't fix it.
But if I were to have a man in my life to only fix all these things for me, I would have committed the worst mistake in my life.
I won't trade where I am today with anything else.
Happiness Always!!!
* AK Sophia wrote this article for Hueiyen Lanpao (English Edition)
This article was posted on December 29, 2011.
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