The trend of inter-racial marriage among tribal girls

Tara Manchin Hangzo *

Last year, I tried something new and, frankly, a little out of my comfort zone, to join an online Matrimonial site. All my friends who got married in their 40s seem to have found their life partners online and that too to white men.

This trend I have observed is more common with tribal women than with the boys. Recently very pretty girls were engaged to men old enough to be their fathers and joined in holy matrimonial to white men, with thick bank balance and seem to have made a grand success of their marriage. (you just have to look at their Facebook status and pictures to see how successfully they have married and are leading almost celebrity lifestyles.)

There must be something that makes the white men or any foreigners more attractive even if they are much older than the girls they marry. Have we ever wondered, or tried to analyze why such a trend is becoming more and more popular amongst the tribal girls? In fact our girls prefer foreigners to our local boys and don't mind marrying them. And do our boys object to such act? we have to ask them.

So it's not surprising that a number of hip marriage fads with foreigners is the new trend of this daring youngsters. I seriously think whether it is worth exploring, but there is no interesting research to back me up... so I just have to anticipate the reasons .

There is no such law in our culture that prohibits tribal girls from marrying outsiders. Imagine! In Saudi Arabia, there is a government law which prevents their citizens from marrying outsiders. Over here, nobody cares, our thinking is progressive and it's an outdated practice to prohibit a girl from marrying whomever she wishes to marry.

Our culture doesn't practise arranged marriages. Everyone opts for love marriages and are free to choose their own life's partners unless they have meddling mothers , who think that their children are incapable of finding their matches which fit their criteria and dump a stranger into their marital bed .

Is there lack of eligible bachelors in our state? I don't know. Maybe! Tribal people as a principle do not practise female feoticide. The other day I was reading a news which said that 4.5 lakh males in northern Indian states like Punjab, Haryana , Delhi are finding it difficult to find girls to marry within their own community in their states while the opposite seems to be true for Manipur.

The tribal customary law does not safeguard the rights and needs of women as it gives impetus to men to discard their wives with impunity. Even today, tribal system of divorce leaves women impoverished and disadvantaged without adequate means to support themselves and their children .The former husband who marries again fails to provide alimony for his ex wife and children he abandoned .

Some children born out of wedlock are totally ignored and not even acknowledged by the men, making it the responsibility of the young mothers and their parents to educate and feed her. Tribal men are not made accountable for their acts by the customary laws .So women who are abandoned and not accepted have to undergo lots of emotional, social and psychological traumas.

Another reason could be economic and religion since marrying a rich Christian white man is perceived to enhance the status of tribal girl and her family unlike marrying a mainland Indian or a black man. (I called this the dollar/pound effects). Anyway the neighbour's approval is more for the white skin than for the brown one). Being a Christian, preference is for white people who are also presumed to be Christian and have similar taste in food , clothes and to a certain extent a similar attitude and mindset .

For a Christian tribal girl of the Northeast, trying to make inroad into the caste based Hindu society is quite challenging (because of the complexities and clash of customs and cultures), though there are few examples of inter-caste, inter racial marriages between a north /south Indian and NE girls. What I observed is that the girl stands at equal level, be it at job or similar background. Many of our girls who got cleared in the civil services/corporate jobs have opted for our mainland Indian men as their spouses. It's a question of status symbol. I still remember an incident that happened long ago.

A friend of mine was looking for a potential spouse. She met an Indian man online .He came to visit her after some time and they liked each other. But I was taken aback by the biased reaction of her mother .She just didn't approve of this brown man though mentally and emotionally her daughter was more compatible than the white man she ultimately marries. (So we are racist in some way.)

On the other hand, the tribal girls have become more independent as they move out of our sleepy town into dazzling cities to study and earn their livelihood. There, they get opportunities to interact and meet people from all over the world and their choice increases .They dream big and want a better life for themselves plus our girls are smart .

The north Indian men, the Arabs and Nigerian used them as plaything and exploited them so the foolish one gets stuck and some of them waste their time while the smart cookies opt for well placed white men who fulfilled their dreams. Nowadays nobody has qualm about marrying a rich man even though they might be much older. Let me put it this way: why not opt for a man who will adore you and take good care of you and your children?

In Churachandpur each household has one or two daughters who are married to white men and are spread all over the world. There was no history of such trends in our mother's generation, it's a new phenomenon and it's a welcome trend especially as the numbers of young widows in their 20s and 30s are increasing day by day. Lord Yamah seems to be rather busy claiming young men's souls in Manipur.

Besides foreigners are not fussy and prejudiced about the past status of the women they wish to marry. The best part is that marriage is possible at any age group, whether you are a young woman in your 20s or in 40s or 50s .

While over here our men are willing to marry only young women in their 20s and 30s and that too a virgin .So who can blame if our smart young girls opt for inter-racial marriages and have a better life?. I applause them!