Our patriarchal society : Changing the mindset

Nongthombam Liklaileima *

A Family scene from the feature film 'Thajagi Maihing' :: pix - Mayum Media and Communication

Patriarchay needs no definition. Understood as male dominance, it is simply a construct that suffuses rhetorical verbosity to the notion that men are superior to women. The notion of female inferiority which is apparently based on sexual differences but is actually a myth designed to justify the unequal relations between men and women persists even today, when mankind has moved into the twenty-first century.

From the Hebrew Bible and Greek Philosophic writings to the present the female tends to be defined by negative reference to the male as the human norms, hence as an other or kind of non-man, by her lack of the identifying male organ of man powers and the male character traits. Women themselves are taught, in the process of being socialised, to internalise the reigning patriarchal ideology, and so are conditioned to derogate their own sex and to co-operate in their own subordination.

To most men, a woman's mind has no value, only her body is important for him because he can use it for his own pleasure. He has nothing to do with the feelings and emotions of a woman. Woman suffers all this because she is taught to remain silen right from the beginning. The emphasis on the strength of men and the corresponding emphasis on timidity, fragility and submission of women clearly indicate that violence in any form whether physical, verbal or attitudinal becomes the distinguishing and distinct character of a male in a patriarchal set up.

In India a woman must necessarily be righteous, chaste, docile, homely and very much dedicated to her family as she is considered to be an incarnation of sacrifices and silent sufferings. Women are expected to seek pleasure only in these domains of life. In an Indian family, the birth of a male child is always feasted upon whereas that of a female child spells misery. Many say that in childhood an Indian woman should be under her father's control, in youth under her husband's and when her husband is dead under the son. She should not have independence.

In such a retrogressive male-centric social order, women can rarely afford to raise an outcry against the excesses by men. If a woman wants to seek justice for her, she is not only frowned upon but she is also viewed contemptously for infringing traditional norms. Women are subjected to mental as well as sexual assault in the exclusive domain of the males. Man has controlled woman through ghastly and diabolical acts like rape, molestation, pornography, prostitution and harassment. Women have to bear the stigma that attaches such victims. This also destroys the confidence of women, initiating a vicious circle which is hard to break.

Are women really the weaker sex as society has for centuries claimed they were? Will these dreadful situations ever change? Are women helpless preys to their conditions? What is the way out of the dilemmas? The questions remained unopened as explosives. While incidents of sexual harassment and rape have woken the nation up to work to get legislation and policy changes in place, we are clearly missing the point. What change can we effect in the letter of the law if we can't change our mindset?

We need to change our mindset - the mindset that confines women within metaphorical walls of inferiority, the mindset that identifies women as merely the negative and sexual object, the mindset that have hindered or prevented women from realising their productive and creative possibilities.

The role of a woman as a human being remains her most essential role in life. Women represent triump of life over death. They resolve their oppression emerging as strong and authentic women complementing their men as well. As for the perceived differences in physical strength between men and women that too is due more to patterns of nurture rather than to nature. In actual fact women are biologically the stronger sex if strength is defined not as mere brute power but as the power of survival.

Women possess rare fortitude. They know how to face the reverses of love and fortune. They know how to die for love and duty. They survive the disaster which would break down many men.

Therefore, we must treat women as equal with men in all respects. Stringent and strict action must be taken against those who abuse women. We must give women a safe, civilized home, work place and society where she can live without any fear and anxiety and dream of realizing her true potential without being unduly discriminated or threatened. We need to let women openly display their power, knowledge and skill to receive public recognition and honour.

But changing patriarchal attitudes is not about changing just the men's mindset towards women, but also to themselves. She must confirm, in her actions, that she is a person of reason, a person of will, a person of affection and a person who has a mission to carry out and she should prove that she has the ability to take part in life.

Women have always competed with men in all sectors of life and have painted their mark in bold colours. In the fight for India's freedom, women worked shoulder-to-shoulder with men and made a remarkable contribtution.

Women who were once considered to be the masters in the art of home making are now considered to be the forces that shape a country. Today many women are well educated and they are now into different professions. They manage the team, show leadership qualities, act tactfully during crises and what not. They also has their hand in changing the political picture of our country. We can now see women emloyed in all fields not only in clerical jobs but also in I.A.S, I.P.S and Indian Air Force.

Let us change our mindset. Let us give women their individual liberty, physical equality and personal fulfilment. Let us listen to their voice. Let them celebrate their female body with a sense of superiority. Let them bloom in full expanse like the fragrant natural flowers as contrasted with the artificial ones. Let us make our women rise like the phoenix above everything else.