Be Proud Of Being Born As A Woman

Louriyam Bebica *

A sit-in-protest staged by womenfolk at Major Khul to denounce gang-rape on April 07 2012 :: Pix - TSE

One evening I was having a little talk with my friends at our play ground about the frequent happening of rape in our state, county. Some told me its bcoz of this globalization where we are expose to both good and bad stuffs through internet, TV ,magazines etc. Some said its bcoz of the influence of western society. Since we were in good number, different opinions were pour out. Among them, what stuck my mind was when one of my friend said "its bcoz you allow yourself to be watch as an object". No idea why he said that at that jiffy so I asked him

"What do you mean when you say we allow them?".I was annoyed to hear it as being a woman myself. How dare he said we allow to them.

"I can't explain you. You are grown up, you are educated so go home and think".

"You are irritating. I mean it". He is well aware of my temper and my reaction when 'm angry.

"Haha...don't worry you will be cool once you get what 'm saying now. Oh yes let me give you an example from your own locality. You told me there is lila(drama) in awang leikai day after tomorrow ."

"Yeah, how that Lila is related to our talk?"

"Hum...do you know the reason of the celebration with that Lila?"

"Of course I do, kaka Kumar's wife had a son after having three daughters in past seven years of their marriage".

"Ok. My answer is there." Saying this he moved out from the group. Every one present there including me seem to be left in blurred on what he said. I came back home ,feeling fully annoyed .Mom was at the courtyard

"Mamaa, is dinner over?"

"No."

"Why it's so late? It's already 6.30 at the evening"

"I went to leikai meeting"

"What meeting?"

"Rani was raped by Tomba. So meira paibi went to his house and we burn it and given izzad dabi".

"But mamaa why did you burn the house? He was the only culprit not the rest of his family?"

"This is the way we do?"

"Even without knowing why you are doing?"

"Nao don't start your scary question plz. Not now'.

"Ok." I went inside my room ,still thinking on what my friend told me .After half an hour I came out to kitchen.

"Mamaa is dinner ready?"

"Oh yes. Its ready. if you are hungry then you can' ve it."

"But you told me you were also hungry. Let's eat together".

"No .No. Your dad has not come back yet from office".

"So?"

"What so?"

"So what ? Keep his share and you can eat with me".

"Nao don't be crazy you eat. And plz stop your questions . I don't know your university teachers handle your questions."

I silently eat watching at my mom. I 'm sure she was hungry but she insist that she will eat after my dad is home. In fact I had never seen my mom eating before my dad. She either eats after him or with him. I didn't even realize when my plate was empty .My mind was flowing in the world of my thought and my friends' those words. I seem to get what he means though its vision is dwindling .'M trying hard to get its clear picture in front of me.

"Nao do you need more rice?"

"No mamaa". I stood up from the dining table. I was washing my hands but my mind was somewhere in the air.

He said we allowed ourselves to be watched as an object. Hum...I got his point now. Uncle Kumar's wife already had three daughter but she was not that much happy as she is with her son. She seems to rise up her head more highly with pride saying the world that 'I too can give birth to a boy baby'. I remembered when their third daughter was born, They were so disappointed that even sochti puja was not done properly .It was all bcoz she was a girl. His wife was cursing her womb and God for not giving shelter to a boy baby.

Uncle Kumar drank the whole night of her birth . He didn't even see his daughter...wow. And now he is thrill with happiness ,he is pouring his love and care to his wife who gave him the son. His wife too enjoying the attention she is receiving. In her last daughter none was around her to care so she did everything by her own. But this time, she didn't even moved from the place she was sleeping. Pride has broaden her chest. When I asked them why they were so crazy about a son they replied

"Nupa yaodradidi yum panba ngamde, nupa poktradi dhara mangkhrani (without a son we can't 've family, without a son my generation will be lost)"

What does it meant? Can you 've a family without woman? About generation don we carry your gene? Is our DNA different from you bcoz we are girl? Is it so? If not what kind of generation you are talking about?

In Meitei culture, marriage is consider as one of the important day of one's life. So the family and society try to arrange everything in such a way that only good will happen to the one who is getting married. One funniest thing that we carry out in our culture's marriage is that jatra pubi should by a lady who was married at the same time whose first child is a boy. The concept here is if she leads the marriage the couple too will 've boy baby as their first child. See, how they 've given the importance of having a boy baby as the first child of the couple. Those who got girl baby as their first child are consider unlucky and unhappy .

Brahmins are consider as the highest class of the society. Though this globalization has brought a lots of changes some of them still followed some rules. They are not allow for inter marriage. If they do, the daughter in law should give birth to a son as her first child then only she will be accepted in their family. If a girl baby comes, then both the mother and child will be not accepted. It's funny but it happens.

"Be careful in life. A single mistake in life will led you to hell. You cannot compare with guys. They are guys. For them no marks of past will hunt in future. But for women, a mistake in past will follow you like a shadow till your death. " This very dialogue will give only inferior complexity to your daughters . But every mom will tell this dialogue to their daughter.

Why do they say this "nupadi taret tara thokna thirasu yai nupidi amuktang shoikhradi loire(guys can marry/sleep as much as he wants but woman should do it once . Why is he permitted for that ? Only bcoz he is a 'MAN'. Biologically when a couple make love both female and male lost their virginity. For men it is seen as bravery with positive sense ,in case of female its seen as negativity.

In fact we are seen from only negativity. No positive is in us. And I don't know why we 've this so called izzad dabi? When we translate the term dabi means demand or compensation. When a person is kill we don't compensate, we give punishment to the culprit. Then why not here?

Raping someone is more than killing. In killing you felt the pain once. Where as in rape, every jiffy of her life will be killed. So what's there to compensate and that also with money. Why can't he get the punishment ? Give him the same pain.

I feel weird to hear when people says "magee izzad dabi do 2 lakhs ta yanakhre". Hell.....does it mean the price of her chastity cost 2 lakhs. Come on ,its not a commodity to sale. It's you ,it's me it's we. Plz this is not on sale nor you can buy.

I was on bus ready to travel for Guwahati when he rang me up

"So you are on bus"

"Hoi,"

"Alone?"

"No, 'm with my aunty".

"Haha I know it .You are a big big...girl why you never travel alone?"

"Bcoz 'm a girl."

"Haha see, now do you understand why did I say those word on that day? You are educated who can face the world with your intellect. You can top your class but can't leave the thought of inferiority only bcoz you are a girl. Now do you agree why guys see you as an sex object . If guys are exploring you, you are also allowing them to explore you. The day when every women has the pride of being born as a woman, every men will also learn to leave the thought superiority".

"Hummmm.." He completely shut my mouth with no answer to give .