Managing Expectations Means Managing Your Dopamine

Samchetsabam Ratankumar Singh *

A Story of Struggles and Triumphs

Many great personalities have risen from humble beginnings, demonstrating resilience and determination. One such example is Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, the former President of India and a renowned scientist. Born into a poor family in Rameswaram, Tamil Nadu, he faced financial hardships from an early age.

As a child, he helped his family by distributing newspapers while continuing his education. Despite the challenges, his relentless pursuit of knowledge led him to become one of India’s most respected scientists and the driving force behind the country's missile program.

His journey was filled with setbacks, but he remained committed to his goals. Through perseverance, small achievements, and continuous learning, he climbed the ladder of success. His story is a testament to the power of patience, dedication, and managing expectations. As Winston Churchill once said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

The S Curve of Growth and Dopamine Management

Life, much like career progression, follows an S Curve—an initial struggle, a period of growth, and eventual mastery. However, what often goes unnoticed is how dopamine, the brain’s pleasure chemical, plays a crucial role in this process.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that affects motivation, pleasure, and reward mechanisms in our brain. When we achieve something, no matter how small, dopamine is released, making us feel good and encouraging us to keep going. However, when our expectations are not met, dopamine levels drop, leading to frustration and self-doubt. This is why understanding how dopamine works is crucial to staying motivated through different stages of growth.

When we start something new, our brain makes predictions about how things will turn out. Often, these predictions are inaccurate, leading to disappointment and a drop in dopamine levels. This can be frustrating, making the initial stages of growth feel slow and unmotivating. But as we begin to see progress, dopamine spikes, keeping us motivated and pushing us forward.

The Three Stages of Growth:
1. The Launch Point: Expectations are not met, and dopamine levels drop.
2. The Sweet Spot: Progress exceeds expectations, and dopamine spikes.
3. Mastery: Reality matches expectations, leading to a dopamine plateau.

This cycle highlights why managing dopamine is essential. Understanding this helps us stay motivated even when growth feels like a glacier-moving process. Bruce Lee once said, “Long-term consistency trumps short-term intensity.” This principle aligns perfectly with the idea of managing dopamine for sustained success.

The Power of Small Wins

One way to counteract the dopamine drop at the beginning of an S Curve is to set ridiculously small goals. For example, when Dr. Kalam began his journey, he did not aim to become a top scientist overnight. Instead, he focused on acquiring knowledge step by step, working diligently as an aeronautical engineer, and making significant contributions to India’s defense technology.

James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, emphasizes the power of small wins. He suggests setting goals so small that they are almost impossible to fail. For instance, if someone wants to start running, they shouldn’t start with a 5K marathon. Instead, they should begin by putting on their running shoes daily. This concept applies to every aspect of life, whether it’s learning a new skill, developing a habit, or advancing in one’s career.

Similarly, in Dr. Kalam’s journey, he didn’t aim to jump multiple career levels at once. Instead, he focused on developing one skill at a time. Over the years, those small efforts compounded, leading him to become one of India’s most celebrated figures.

The Role of Celebration

Celebration is another vital tool in managing dopamine. When we acknowledge our progress, however small, we reinforce positive behavior. It’s essential to pause and reflect on how far we’ve come. Tony Robbins, a world-renowned motivational speaker, emphasizes, “Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.” Taking time to celebrate milestones ensures that we feel fulfilled and stay motivated.

Dr. Kalam was known for his humility and the way he celebrated the achievements of his team. Whether it was launching India’s first indigenous satellite launch vehicle or serving as the President, he believed in acknowledging and appreciating progress. This approach not only motivated him but also inspired those around him.

Dr. BJ Fogg, a behavior scientist at Stanford University, emphasizes celebrating even the tiniest wins. A simple “I did it!” moment sends signals to our brain, reinforcing motivation and keeping us on track.

Overcoming Setbacks and Building Resilience

No growth journey is free from obstacles. Even the most successful individuals face failures, rejections, and roadblocks. What differentiates them is their resilience—the ability to bounce back and keep moving forward. Nelson Mandela once said, “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

Dr. Kalam failed many times before he succeeded. One of his biggest setbacks was when India’s first satellite launch vehicle (SLV-3) failed in 1979. The failure was devastating, but he did not let it define him. Instead, he analysed what went wrong, made improvements, and successfully launched SLV-3 in 1980. His resilience paid off, proving that failure is merely a stepping stone to success.

The key to overcoming setbacks is managing our expectations and staying patient. Growth takes time, and the process will have ups and downs. By accepting that failures are part of the journey, we can prevent dopamine crashes and maintain motivation.

Lessons from His Journey

1. Expectations Shape Experience: We often expect instant success, but true growth takes time. Understanding the S Curve helps us stay resilient.
2. Small Wins Lead to Big Victories: Instead of overwhelming yourself with ambitious goals, start small. Consistency beats intensity.
3. Celebrate Every Milestone: Acknowledging progress helps sustain motivation and prevents burnout.
4. Embrace the Struggle: Dr. Kalam’s early struggles shaped his resilience. Every challenge is an opportunity in disguise.
5. Failure is Not the End: Every great personality has faced failure. What defines success is the ability to learn and keep moving forward.

Conclusion

Managing expectations means managing dopamine. The key is to set small, achievable goals and celebrate progress. Whether in career, personal growth, or life’s challenges, the principles remain the same. Growth may feel slow, but persistence and dopamine management ensure that we keep moving forward.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam’s life is proof that no matter where you start, with the right mindset, small wins, and resilience, you can rewrite your destiny.

As Albert Einstein once said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

So, keep moving, set small goals, and celebrate each victory—because success is a journey, not a destination.