The Unseen Influence: How Parents Shape Future Leaders in Adolescence

Samchetsabam Ratankumar Singh *

“He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.” – Aristotle

My years of experience in a leadership role have been nostalgic, and I often feel fortunate to have had a platform to learn everything during my childhood. More importantly, it helps me stay grounded at every stage of life. To become a great teacher, one must first be a great student. To remain an exceptional teacher, one must never stop learning. Unfortunately, modern parenting often overlooks this principle, leading to critical gaps in guiding children, especially during their teenage years.

As children, we are nurtured by the care and attention of our parents. They teach us fundamental skills—getting ready for school, crossing the road safely, maintaining a routine, and observing dining etiquette.

When we fall, they encourage us to try again, seeing challenges as opportunities to learn. They help us simplify problems when we get stuck and give us the chance to grow and improve. Parents actively seek feedback from others to help us become better in every possible way. In these formative years, parents play a pivotal role in instilling discipline and shaping the habits necessary for life.

However, this dynamic often shifts during adolescence. As children grow into teenagers, parents increasingly entrust their development to private tutors and schools, assuming these institutions will handle what they no longer can. This societal norm is often accepted without much thought, ignoring the profound role parents play as motivators, mentors, and lifelong guides. While tuition centers and schools undoubtedly contribute, they cannot replace the influence of parental involvement.

The Lasting Impact of Early Lessons

As I progressed into a leadership role, I often reflected on the simple yet impactful lessons from my childhood. These lessons shaped my character and prepared me for life’s challenges. For instance:

o Focusing on reading: Cultivated attention to detail and focus.
o Valuing cleanliness: Taught the importance of a distraction-free environment.
o Maintaining routines: Fostered resilience and self-discipline.
o Limiting playtime: Instilled time management and accountability.
o Eating on time: Encouraged mindfulness about health and well-being.
o Sharing with friends and family: Instilled empathy and kindness.
o Playing with friends: Taught the value of effort over outcomes, focusing on trust and collaboration rather than winning or losing.
o Exposure to all weather: Playing through summers, winters, and rains built resilience and a “no excuses” mindset.

Other experiences, such as sharing toys (teamwork), completing chores (ownership), seeking help from elders (humility), and resolving fights with friends (conflict resolution), added invaluable life skills.

Managing pocket money taught financial responsibility, while mentoring younger siblings nurtured empathy and compassion. These everyday practices laid the groundwork for leadership qualities like decision-making, self-awareness, and the ability to motivate others.

Unfortunately, many of these formative practices fade during adolescence—a time when children need guidance and encouragement the most.

Adolescence: A Crucial Crossroads

The teenage years are a pivotal stage in life. Adolescents face distractions, discover passions, and develop essential life skills. This is the time when they are most vulnerable yet filled with potential. They require a guiding hand to help them differentiate between right and wrong, navigate challenges, share their emotions, and be heard empathetically.

Ironically, it is often during this critical period that parents step back, relying on teachers and tutors to take over. Delegating responsibility may save time, but it sacrifices the deep connection and long-term impact only parents can provide. Saving time may offer momentary relief, but investing time builds a legacy that shapes generations.

Teenagers need a steady and consistent driving force—someone to encourage them to embrace failure as a stepping stone, stay grounded, and remain lifelong learners. Parents are uniquely positioned to fill this role because they are the ones who nurture their children from the very beginning. Beyond caregiving, they can mentor their children to build resilience, focus, and clarity amidst the distractions of today’s fast-paced world.

A Call for Active Parenting

In a world flooded with distractions, academic knowledge alone is insufficient to prepare children for life. Parents must actively equip their teenagers with critical life skills, such as:

o A growth mindset
o Time management
o Consistency
o Emotional intelligence
o Decision-making skills
o Resilience
o Thought leadership
o Presentation and interpersonal skills
o Empathy
o A sense of belonging

Expecting your child to excel in demanding fields like medicine, engineering, or civil services requires more than just academic preparation. It requires a strong foundation of character and mindset, which only parents can provide. This commitment demands the attitude of, “If not me, then who?”

While you may not excel in every academic subject, no one can be a better friend, mentor, motivator, or guide for your child than you. True leadership is not just about academic excellence; it’s about fostering qualities like empathy, adaptability, self-discipline, and confidence. Trust yourself to rise to the challenge and shape your child into the best version of themselves.

A Lesson from Nancy Edison

Thomas Alva Edison, one of the world’s greatest inventors, did not always stand out as a genius. In his early school years, he faced challenges, and his boundless curiosity and unconventional approach to learning were often misunderstood and labeled disruptive. One day, his teacher handed him a letter to take home to his mother, Nancy Edison.

When young Edison gave the letter to his mother, she read it quietly, tears filling her eyes. “What does the letter say, Mother?” Thomas asked.

With steady confidence, Nancy replied, “Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him, and they lack the teachers necessary to guide him. Please teach him at home.”

Recognizing her son’s potential, Nancy took it upon herself to homeschool him. She encouraged his curiosity, fostered his interests, and provided him with books that fueled his imagination. Her unwavering belief in his abilities gave Edison the confidence to think beyond limitations and explore bold ideas.

Years later, Edison acknowledged the pivotal role his mother played in his success. “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt I had someone to live for, someone I must not disappoint,” he said.

With his mother’s encouragement and guidance, Edison grew to become one of the most innovative minds in history. He held over 1,000 patents and created groundbreaking inventions such as the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and the electric light bulb—transforming the world forever.

The Courageous Women of Manipur

Let us not forget, it was you—the fearless women of Manipur—who struck fear into the heart of the British Empire with the historic Nupi Lan (Women’s War), first fought in 1904 and again in 1939. Your strength and unyielding determination not only challenged colonial rule but also immortalized your bravery in history.

Your remarkable courage and resilience left an indelible mark on the world, ensuring that your legacy will endure as long as humanity exists. You possess the incredible power to inspire and shape minds, to create brilliance from within. Every mother carries within her the extraordinary spirit of resilience and wisdom, capable of nurturing greatness in her children. A mother, after all, is nothing less than a Nancy Edison—a force of love, strength, and determination, fostering the potential for greatness.

Unlocking Greatness Through Parental Belief

The story of Nancy Edison underscores the transformative impact of parental belief and involvement. Her unwavering support and faith in her son’s abilities demonstrate the power of nurturing curiosity, fostering confidence, and building resilience.

Parents, by staying engaged and invested in their children’s growth, have the unique ability to unlock their potential and guide them toward a brighter future. Through love, patience, and belief, you can leave a lasting legacy, shaping not just your child’s life but the generations to come.