Travel Travails : Through the lens of a Single Woman
- Part-II -

AK Sophia *

Traveling in India is not for the faint-hearted. It is a challenging affair, trying to find the perfect destination, enjoying yourself to the fullest and at the same time, watching your back. That's why it is so much easier and hassle-free when you travel in groups. Of course, travelling in groups also has its downside but nonetheless they are predictable and a lot safer.

So put yourself in the shoes of a solo woman, wanting to travel in India. I have been in this predicament many times and would like to share the thought process that goes in my mind while planning or embarking on a trip. This is just personal insights which have helped me, it should not be misconstrued to be a generalized feeling experienced by all women travellers. However, if after reading my experience you feel, "O my god, I have been there, done that", then please join the club:

So the journey starts with choosing the best destination?? But which is the best destination?? I have on many occasions chosen a holiday spot based on how safe it makes me feel. So for me, Mcleodganj (seat of His Holiness, the Dalai Lama in India) is a perfect spot than say Varanasi, counted as one of the holiest city for Hindus. In Mcleodganj, people are used to seeing women on their own, staying in guest houses, having a cup of coffee alone, hiking alone and they are attuned to the concept of 'personal space'. Or to be more simplistic, Mumbai is a better tourist destination than Delhi and everybody knows 'WHY'.

In terms of ranking safety of the various mode of transport, I would personally rate travel by air as one of the safest mode of travel, unless - God forbid - there is a crash!!!. In trains I always worry about who I am going to share my compartment with. Despite my dislike of sharing space with toddlers and screaming kids, I would happily do so, if I am on a train alone. Worse is unknowingly booking yourself on a train which stops at every station.

As a rule, all AC tier class compartment doors are not opened unless it is a scheduled stop but that is just a rule, nothing more. So imagine, in the middle of the night, a ticketless stranger gets into your compartment and makes himself comfortable in the space by your feet. What do you do??? Get up, shout, scream and create a ruckus.

I do not like confrontation unless necessary (hopefully that does not make me a coward), so when I book my ticket, I always opt for the upper berth. This way, once I am on the train, I am assured of my space. The other option is to book ticket on First Class or Second Class but practically that is not possible all the time.

By the way, I never book myself on a train which reaches my destination in the middle of the night. Tell me how many men would have had this thought process while doing a simple thing, as booking a train ticket??? And if I state my apprehensions, they tell me that I worry too much.

Traveling in buses is a strict no no for me unless it is one of those state-run semi-deluxe AC buses or those that are owned and operated by private companies. However, it is always a good idea to check the history and record of the company. In this regard, Internet has been a heaven-sent blessing. Nowadays, you can get information on anything at the click of a mouse, be in contact numbers, customer reviews, travel advisories, etc, etc.

One of the lady instructors at NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School, USA) shared her experience about her way up to Ranikhet from Delhi on a local bus. She could not get on the train as it was too late so she had to catch the first bus out of Delhi. Unfortunately for her, the man sitting next to her turned out to be overwhelmingly friendly. He tried to cover both of them with a blanket in the middle of the night, tried to sleep on her shoulder, tried to massage her arms.

Thankfully it all ended, when she firmly put her backpack in the middle of the seat, nearly pushing him down on the aisle. Thus, it is not surprising that I did not get a wink of sleep when I had to catch a similar bus from Nainital to Delhi, after missing my train. But I got lucky, a mother and her toddler sat next to me all the way to Delhi, it was like 'divine intervention'.

Deciding on the mode of transport is not the end of the story. Next thing is to choose a place to stay. With the mushrooming of numerous home-stays, budget hotels, mid-range to five star hotels, you are indeed spoilt for choice. One of my main criteria is to figure out the location of the hotel, that it should be located in a respectable and if possible in the quieter part of the city.

You would not want to stay in a hotel right next to the bus stop/train station where shady characters slips in and out of the darkness. Google it, study reviews, call them and check that whatever is on the internet holds true. It is quite a bit of work but being prepared is the best defense - better safe than sorry.

Next comes, warding off unwanted attention. It is alright to say no, politely and firmly. After a couple of times, people understand but they might view you as slightly eccentric or different. Well, who cares…it is your holiday and you can spend it however you want and with whomever you want.

However, it does not mean that I have deprived myself of meaningful conversation with strangers, or have refused a cup of tea. I have met many well read, well travelled and great intellectuals on my journeys and have learnt little snippets of wisdom from them. I have met sincere friendly souls who just meant to make my stay more comfortable and enjoyable.

And I have also met people who just shared their home and love without expecting anything in return. That's why traveling is good for the soul, your cynicism gets beaten down till it rears its ugly head once again in the near future.

Finding a travel agent, catering solely to the needs of single woman, was a challenge a couple of years back. But not anymore, if for some reason, you do not want to do all the hard work but pay somebody else to work on your dream holiday, you can look up WOW (Women on Wanderlust). It is an agency that caters to only women travellers, run by women professionals and their list of destination is quite mouth-watering, Cruise on the Nile, Exploring wildlife in Africa, Greece, Chartered planes to Andamans, exploring the untouched beauty of Ladakh, Kashmir or maybe an adrenaline rush of white water rafting on the Ganga.

Women on Clouds, is another agency who also customize trips for women travellers, though on a smaller scale. Women opting to travel alone or with other women are on an upswing at the moment and it is a niche clientele which everyone is trying to capture, so single women rejoice.

Many a times in the past, I have wished that I was born a man just so that I could travel without any limitations, beyond the boundaries. But not anymore, I love being a woman and it is just so much easier getting a man to give up his seat with just a glance. And I have other women to keep me company.