Stay Connected
Bienhome Muivah *
"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousands fibers connect us with our fellowmen"
- Herman Melville -
All our lives we are encouraged to be independent, strong, and masters of our own destinies. But statistically, "lone rangers" don't live as long, much less as happily, as socially attached people.
Staying involved often spells the difference between aging gracefully and just growing old-our total life experience prepares us to share and celebrate life with others, including comforting, teaching, and encouraging those who need it.
If we don't share our experience and knowledge, we quickly turn inward and shrivel up emotionally. We gradually become more withdrawn, isolated, and disconnected-a pathway to unhappiness, disease, and early death. Others need you, and you need them.
Researcher have recently found that "a [low] psychological sense of belonging is a greater predictor of depression than other factors commonly associated with depression, such as social support, conflict, and loneliness".
An Australian longitudinal study related to aging stated "Greater networks with friends were protective against mortality in a ten year follow up period".
A study showed that belonging to a club, church, or volunteer group is as health enhancing as beginning exercise or quitting smoking.
Mr. Jim for instance was a great example of a life lived to the fullest. Always interested in family, friends, and his community, he never knew a day without purpose and laughter.
He learned the joy of gardening from his father and could be found everyday of the growing season out among his rows of corn and prize-winning tomatoes. A lifelong lover of music, he embraced his talent in multiple ways.
In later days (years) he was always surrounded by the music he loved and sang in his church's choir. Upon retirement he pursued his love of travel and spent many years skipping across the country, bringing his wonderful studies and great sense of humor to everyone he met. He even engaged people as he travelled, flipping on radio and chatting with anyone nearby who would respond.
In his 80's Uncle Jim slowed down physically with orthopaedic limitations, but his caring heart and love for people became even more of a driving force. He refused to give up his daily walk and inspired many a young athlete as he circled the track using his walker.
He was a magnet for all who knew him in the retirement home, encouraging friends and staff alike with his amazing World War II stories of his buddies courage and triumph. He remained young at heart and socially engaged despite all the changes life had to offer until he died at age 85.
On the creation story, the first thing God pronounced "not good" was a human being alone. We all need both the feeling of belonging and the reality of belonging. People who stay connected retain a reason to live, long after their "Lone Ranger" counterparts have departed.
There are many ways to get connected, if you are not connected enough already, to those around you. Start first with the healthiest of your social relationships and join with your friends in some of their activities, such as social clubs, some kind of charity work, or a group organized around a hobby.
Take a course in something you have always wanted to learn, where it is likely you will meet others with interests similar to your own.
If you have some expertise in an area of interest to others, including those much younger than yourself, become a coach or mentor to one of them, or a group of them, which could give you a whole new view on the world-their world-and even help to make it better.
"Life after all is not duration but donation."
* Bienhome Muivah wrote this article for Hueiyen Lanpao (English Edition)
The writer is a Church Ministry Promoter at MBC Centre Church, Imphal
This article was posted on August 12, 2013.
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