Programmer's Joke I
"There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works."
-Anon.
"The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland;
but that's because it's the best book on anything for layman."
-Anon.
"Real programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who
can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN."
-Anon.
"Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are
around at 9am it's because they were up all night."
-Anon.
"Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to
write, it should be hard to understand."
-Anon.
"Java keeps your hand tied. VC++ gives you enough rope to hang
yourself."
-Anon.
"Optimization hinders evolution."
-Anon.
"Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well."
-Anon.
"Old programmers never die. They just branch out to a new address."
-Anon.
"f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng."
-Anon.
"A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into
error messages."
-Anon.
"Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'"
-Anon.
"WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue."
-Anon.
"The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out..."
-Anon.
"Smash forehead on keyboard to continue."
-Anon.
"Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying."
-Anon.
"Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!"
-Anon.
"Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector."
-Anon.
"Hit any user to continue."
-Anon.
"General Failure's Fault. Not Yours."
-Anon.
"Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)"
-Anon.
"Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue..."
-Anon.
"Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can."
-Anon.
"COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key."
-Anon.
"Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted."
-Anon.
"Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though."
-Anon.
"What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator."
-Anon.
"Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window."
-Anon.
"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."
-Anon.
"Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance,
and bragged about forever."
-Anon.
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from
many is research."
-Anon.
IT''S ENOUGH STOP SMILING AND GO BACK TO WORK!!!!
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