An insane society

By:- Leichombam Kullajit *

This would probably be the biggest loss in her life, or this could be the biggest mistake she ever had committed or she might have not known what it could change her life forever.

It must be around half past eleven at the midnight of May 19. Everyone in the room was tensed and knew at least that something had happened to her sister. But it was only when she and her relatives reached to the police station and realised that her sister had been killed almost five days before and disposed off as an unclaimed body.

This was the most horrified incident to this Manipuri girl living in a rented house in Delhi with her sister.

Lucy (name changed), 21, and her sister Rangailu (name changed), 25, from a small village of Manipur's Tamenglong district had been living in Delhi over the last three years. Since her sister had been working in a private hospital and because of her unscheduled working hours, Lucy had in the most time lived in the room and helped with the household works. And it was just a week only they had shifted to Gandhi Vihar from Nehru Vihar, hardly one-kilometer distance, where Rangailu's "boyfriend", George and his nephew, Roshan lived.

On May 13, a day after they (both sisters) had shifted to the new room, Rangailu and Roshan went for shopping at Kamala Market near Delhi University. A little while after, George also left for Connaught Place, leaving Lucy in the room.

At around 9.30 in the evening, Roshan came home alone only to tell Lucy that her sister had gone to South, normally referred to South Delhi to visit her friends by giving him Rs 20 to return home from the market. And after a gap of around one hour, George too came home.

(Lucy was still living in Nehru Vihar with her boyfriend, though officially both the sisters had shifted to Gandhi Vihar). By believing that her sister might have gone to South to meet her friends, she returned to Nehru Vihar at that night. Trust to Roshan and George, she was waiting for almost five days but still there was no sign of her return.

With the suspicions mounting over she finally informed to her relatives and approached to Zeliangrong Students' Union, Delhi. And it was only when they reached to Civil Lines police station on May 19, 2009 to lodge a formal complaint of missing of her sister, Lucy came to know that her sister, Rangailu, had been killed for almost five days before and disposed off as an unclaimed body.

The anecdote might be a tragic end, but it is not unnecessarily meant to bring an issue of a bereaved family. Nevertheless what it can transcript to a larger issue in the present Manipuri society particularly those living in Delhi and other cities is the main focus of the topic, which 'live-in relationships' among the youth will create a social fragmentation and demoralizing the whole generations.

Though the idea is not a new one and also might have different polemics, the question that remains is – are we prepared to the stage of those Western cultures here. Since there is no living together law to intrude in their difference and disputes, it gives them all the more reason to exercise their seemingly liberal and mature discretion for such rectification.

With the amount of independence and privacy included in such a relationship, anyone would think it to be an ideal move. However, there is more to it than catches the eye. One needs to really dig into the pros and cons of living together to know what he or she is getting into. Agreed that the whole ball game of a live-in relationships seem more tempting than a triple fudge sundae, but the smudge can be even more irritating than that harmless cup of frozen cream.

A lack of commitment in the real sense and a dangerous level of liberty loom over the relationship to topple it over anytime. And for those who prefer it as a prelude to the real act of tying the knot, the pros and cons of living together before marriage shape up as an even greater challenge, more so because of the social issues involved in it.

Truth that there are number of rape cases, molestations, harassments and racial abuses. According to a finding by the North East Support Centre, Delhi, almost half of the women sexually harassed in the national capital and its neighbourhood are from Northeast. But the question – why does it happen – is the point that we need to answer and find out.

Though the incident gives "another" impression that she had been killed in Delhi by some miscreants or by some hooligans, there is a serious matter we need to introspect first to ourselves before pointing out our fingers to someone else. Here too various arguments could arise.

Raping a child or molestation of a young girl by landlord are dangerous offence according to law, like the ones happened in Gurgaon some times back, but this is the not the whole issue. The issue is since we are living in a different culture, and different environment we need to identify their cultures first and try to follow and adjust it.

Here one doesn't mean that we have a culture of live-in relationships, but most of us are involving in it and are adopting without considering the consequences of it. When we behave differently, there is always a different reaction to it. This is what exactly happened to Rangailu in cities like Delhi.

Also there are many untold and suppressed stories, which most people, particularly parents in Manipur, do not know exactly what happen out here. Though their conceptions or preoccupation are not entirely untrue, there are certain ‘naked truths’ they should know. They need to find out how their children live away from home, who are their acquaintances, and what is their lifestyle.

And more importantly, this is we the people; living for a livelihood in a different land, have to work out. When one does commit a mistake, it can bring everyone in hell. The younger generation of north-east living away from homes must follow a right direction that would ensure our sojourn 'peaceful'. What do you say?