One Night!!!

Louriyam Bebica *

Seasons have passed, days have gone, she was getting mature, teenage was no longer where she belong, but 'a lady' a 'woman' now. Yet, the leaves of the tree where her feelings grew never seem to face the autumn nor allow those leaves to be flown by the wind, even the sun, can only peep on those leaves, failure has caught him to dry up those leaves, leaning at the other side of the window of her room, she had viewed every changing seasons, though she seems not to realize any change.

It might be because her eyes were always fill tears, desire, the blind hope of him coming back to her, she tried dating someone in her life in thought. It might enable her to kick off those lingering memory of him. However contrary to her thought every second she spend with them, drag her to feel as if she was being cut into pieces or a curse has turned her into ash. Labyrinth seems to be the abode of her life now.

There....she walked down serenely by the stream with unfolded eyes as if asking a question.... "why can't you flow up? You have to flow down only? Is it my love like your stream of water, which never stop nor flow up again?" Kneeling down looking at her shadow in the water, she due the blade in her wrist and allow the blood to flow along with the river stream.

Her scream, pain, tears, desires has vapour, holding the hand of the wind. She was embraced by the dead, her wish of being in the state of peace of mind was at last granted.

At times, she cursed herself out of quilt thinking why she slept with him on that night? But in the next moment she knew it was the best moment of her life. People might find her crazy if they judged her based on her deed rather than her feelings.

She was born and brought up in such a society here pre-marital sex is treated as a sin, and view those people who involved in this act, cynically. But we can excuse them in name of 'love', as we said everything is fair in love and war. In her case, that was something beyond everything.

But for her, it was not love, nor war, that was something excruciating. She fell in love with the boy who was known as women killer and sex buster in their school. But it was her dream or hope that someday, he will turn back at her, hold her up tightly, pulling her back to his breath and 'love' should be the reason of their physical union.

In spite being warned by many of her friends, his frankness and the courage of pouring himself out was appreciable. He never said, he was in love with her but frank enough to confess his desire for her.

They often had long conversation over phone days and night. On that night, she landed on his bed. There wasn't a single touch that she can feel 'love' in it. But in his every anger, lustful look she tried to find the untold love.

Feeling, the physical desire was not the reason of her being there. It was her hope that someday he is going to love her, it was her faith the moment of their merging together going to make him understand the words of her heart. Every time he explored, pain was what she felt.

"Nao, nao… wake up, its 7 o'clock now. Are you planning to sleep the whole day?" I suddenly woke up to my mom's screams.

"Upsh… thank God, it was a dream and I wasn't the girl whose vainglorious was vacuous, killing herself for a flirty guy who had never loved her. Sleeping with him was a mistake, infact everyone learns from their mistake. But her step of ending her life was a sin. Or it is good that she committed suicide because she doesn't deserve to be alive. She thought she died for the sake of love. But she doesn't know what is love. Loving someone is important but nothing is more important that self. Unluckily she doesn't have the sense of importance of self, nor about the loved one who had spend many sleepless night just to see her smile. If a love can bring joy in life then we must take it, if it's gonna be the reason for death than just say it to yourself 'Forget it". While, she was muttering.

"Nao…, will you come down or do you want me to come up to break your dream?

No…"

"Ah! My mom," She muttered making a long face.

"I'm coming down maa"??