TODAY -

Naming children after pandemic

Free Thinker *



A few days back during this ongoing lockdown period I read in the epaper that a twin (a boy and a girl) born in Telangana were name COVID and Corona respectively. The mother of these kids perhaps told the jurnos that she might change the name of her children once the pandemic is over.

The father was not so enthusiastic about these names but couldn't open his mouth as he respects the power and position of a mothera. An international news channel was also narrating similar stories of naming newly born children as Sanitizer, Glove, Hydrate, Kleenex, Pandemic etc.

Naming children has been a chaotic affair through out the world in this Covid era. A baby is born , she is named Curfew by her grandfather as she was born during the lockdown curfew and grandmother lovingly calls her simply Lockdown; Papa starts calling her Quarantine but child's mother calls her Closure( mother doesn't disclose the reason why she names her child Closure).

All of a sudden the real auntie of the child will appear and rejects all the names and she gives her a versatile name saying that this name will bring wealth and laurels - she calls her niece 'Vaccine'.

Auntie has a terrific knowledge of what is happening around this pandemic world. Today every one is in quest of a reliable vaccine or medicine which can be the cure of Covid -19. Gaint Pharma Companies are in a rat race to bring out the first panacea of the disease.

Even the billionaires have invested undisclosed amount of money in such projects for finding a Covid cure.I heard that even Mr Bill has also opened his Gates to eight Companies which are seriously in the process of launching the ultimate vaccine. At the same time national Governments are encouraging all kinds of endeavours to find any authentic cure but certainly not the 'Ganga Jal' type.

A few days back the top leadership had spoken to those who are earnestly and seriously in search of a Covid cure within the country; he spoke to nearly 50 of them to find any substance, drug, medicine, vaccine, grass, herb, eatable, drinkable or injectable - anything which finishes the virus.

He insisted them to do it very fast before others could do so that we can prove to the world that we are the emerging Global Power.

Even for defensive purposes we could sell Paracetamol and Hydrocychloroquine to many countries including the USA and consequently our Foreign Exchange Reserves has moved up to 481 Billion Dollars.

Then imagine the amount of money we can mint from a Covid cure . I know our leaders may not like to commercialize it ; in the name of saving humanity we can supply it to the world on no loss no profit basis. But the world must acknowledge our high moral ground. Crossing my fingers I wish it happens very shortly in Guwahati or Chandigarh or Bangalore.

Coming back to the main issue of naming children in this trying times one may conveniently pick up some appreciable names like Virus , Red John , Yellow John , Green John, Faze One, Faze Two, Faze Three, Isolation, Quarantine, Monitoring, Soap, Handwash, Symptomatic, Fatality, Morbidity, RNA, DNA, Rapid Testing, Migrant, Cluster, Outbreak, Sars, Mers, Epidemiologist, Epidemic, Endamic, Pandemic, Curve, Flatten, Hygiene, Distance Singh etc.

One very related demographic study was conducted recently by the University of Florence in Italy. The finding concluded that there will be very slow population growth in this pandemic period.

People don't want to get conceived in this critical juncture where there is no certainly of life , job and economy. The study also indicated that lockdowns imposed to curb the spread of the disease may not lead to a rise in population.

I beg to differ because our situation and Italian conditions are different. On the contrary here in our country the situation is such that it is conducive for procreation.

Most of the people are getting free food and have nothing to do in the lockdown period. And on top of it they are asked to stay home. Do you think that physical distancing is possible among the couples particularly among the young ones and newly married .

My prediction is that by November/December our demographic growth will be one of the highest in the world.

So, it is all the more required to keep in hand some appropriate and soothing names relating to the pandemic period. To me some of the most sought after names will be Baby Flu , Mr Mask, Pipie (PPE)Sharma, Ms Quinine, Ventilator Kumar , Ajati ji (AZT), Ms Beecigi(BCG), Remdesivir Singh, Droplet Devi, Distance Singh, Ma'am Paracetamol so on and so forth.

It is high time for the expected parents to reserve the name of their offspring - an appropriate name can bring name, fame and glory to the whole family.

At this juncture the most sophisticated and cosmopolitan name is Hydrocychloroquine.


* Free Thinker wrote this article for The Sangai Express
This article was posted on May 13, 2020.


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