Ningol Chakkouba – a true sense of care

Rev. Fr. Paul Lelen Haokip *

A Ningol on the way to her mapam lamdam on Ningol Chakkouba on November 05 2013

Introduction:

Come any festivities, Manipur is marked with security blankets, frisking, traffic diversions, few blasts, and of course the illuminated Kangla Gate and other important places. Good to see, ladies and gents daring the night for few photo shots not knowing whether they would be victims of blasts. Perhaps they are confident and safe at the sight of security men around them. Great feeling.

While India has just celebrated her luminous days (Diwali days) – one of the celebrated festival named 'Ningol Chakouba' is just a day far off. Our ancestors were genius in creating and instituting such a festival of reunion for the parents and the married daughters. This day is marked with colorful dress as much as the heart is filled with merriments.

A day of re-union and reconciliation:

How can you chase away your daughter who comes with gifts for you? The best gifts perhaps are your grand children who haul and dirty your home. How will you not visit your parents – old or young at least once a year when life is so uncertain? Above all, how can you just ignore this beautiful channel of relationship and re-union? Unless you are ashamed of yourself now and then, you are not honest.

These and the like may be some of the questions that visit our minds as we celebrate this feast. A year has gone by since last the 'Ningol Chakkouba'. Many incidents, many deaths, more widows due to death of husbands in the recent Moirangkhom bomb blast on 30th Oct. 2013.

Whether you visit your family as a widow or as a full-fledged family, you are sure to carry lots of emotions that may vary from unfulfilled dreams, regrets, hatred, revengeful hurts etc.

Today is the day of re-union and reconciliation over the plate of meal which is precisely called the NINGOL CHAKKOUBA. Forgive your parents and seek blessings. Ask forgiveness from them, for you need them on the way of life.

Ningols as good wives:

Once you are married, you are undoubtedly united with your husband and his whole family. The personality types in his family may be beyond reconciliation but your role as good and exemplary wife cannot be compromised in the bargain.

Your devoted worship every morning in the portico before your husband and the rest get up is a sure sign of your sacrifice and womanhood. Your prayers and wishes for the day will definitely determine your conduct. A true wife wishes the well-being of everyone in the house, neighborhood and the society.

Refrain from superstitions:

George Orwell says, "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear". It is not uncommon to see some people (men and women) going to soothsayers and palmists for anything and everything.

More than consolation, confusion, fear of the future and loss of money are the end results. When the world is advancing and we are also chasing the pace of science, why do we still hang on to superstitious practices and beliefs.

Are there no elders to enlighten the younger generations? Why should another woman suspect her neighbor or rival for putting charms of downfall? Suspicion breeds hatred and hatred gives way to elimination techniques.

When we all profess faith in One Supreme God who loves all and cares all, why do we not respect the lives of others? I doubt such religion, be it Christianity, Hinduism, Sikhism, Islam or Buddhism. The actual essence of every religion is total trust on the Supreme God and not on mere wayside soothsayers or future predictors.

Conclusion:

May our ningols be not left widows due to man-made calamities. Respect the rights of ningols just as you would wish respect and love for your own married sister. If you have a sister, the above sentences will have a meaning. If you don't, you still can adopt someone and care for her. The sentences will still have a meaning for you.