TODAY -

Zero Ibobi gi Helloi
- Part 2 -

Czadanda Saint *



"If the Government uses the instruments of power in its hands for the purpose of leading a people to its ruin, then rebellion is not only the right but the duty of every individual citizen."
- Adolf Hitler

Read Zero Ibobi gi Helloi : Part 1 here

Under the garb of a law, they were killed- so were going to be the protests. But f**k the law. f**k the chain of command. And if you are thinking to the contrary, f**k you as well. Because, the soldiers, they always have a choice. The soldiers, they can always choose- not to kill… not to shoot. Whatever be the apparent lack of accountability of their actions or the shirking of responsibility in the name of authority, the ones who ultimately pull the trigger always have a choice. But they chose to kill. And that made all the f**king difference.

And perhaps, this is the very reason I chose to travel back to this 2nd of November 2000 A.D., in my moment of hazy impulse. I just had to witness the Malom Massacre. I just had to see the soldiers who pulled the trigger in flesh and blood. I just had to see for myself what made them to do what they did. Was it a moment's anger or are they simply sadistic by nature? Do they regret their 'momentary lapse of reason' or do they simply revel in the gore?

And I saw it. Them. Their faces. Nothing can be read. Nothing can be seen. Nothing was to be shown. Apart from the glistening eyes, only lines can be seen in some of the faces. Do they betray lost and withered souls within or are they simply battle hardened scars which have erased their lines of conscience? It was real. It was very real. Looking upon the fallen, the faces of the dead showed more 'life' than the faces of the supposedly living, in the guise of soldiers. Looks of horror. Looks of 'surprise mingled with curiosity'. Looks of pure fright.

But looking in the eyes glistening eyes of the 'living' was more like staring into an abyss. And the abyss stares back at you. Staring, staring, an eerie silence filled the air amidst the pandemonium. It was the absence of humanity. The voiceless screams from behind the cold, hardened eyes. Shadow of human lives- sacrificed in the name of democracy. Patriotism- has it just become 'racism behind a flag"? The world I grew up in was forever gone. The way I see the world was never going be the same again.

I stood there for some time, lost in my own thoughts. But it was time for me to take leave. I have seen what I came to see. And what did I see? The soldiers neither regret their 'momentary lapse of reason' nor do they revel in the gore. It's all in a day's work for them. With a gun in their hands, they would shoot and they would kill; as they are trained to be. They have made their choices long time ago.

They no longer care if a few 'irrelevant' lives get caught in the crossfire, misfire and deliberate fire. 'What the f**k! Kill them all!' seems to be the attitude of the soldiers of that day. But to think that the same soldiers are somebody's father, somebody's brother, somebody's husband, and somebody's son! It was just beyond me. What exactly is the difference between We, the people and them, soldiers?

The question will forever remain. But it was time for me to go. So, I took out my half burnt Black. And I was about to lit it up, when I saw my Helloi coming towards me. Still in yellow. Still beautiful. An epitome of elegance. And she smiled and took my hand. And I understood, all in that moment's silence, she was to come with me.

I took a puff. It was my first ride with Helloi, my first date. The world swirled and the day was now the 3rd of November 2000. I was just in time to pay homage to the birth of a revolution. If people of that time only knew. If they only knew what they are bearing witness to. It was a moment in eternity- to resonate forever in the sands of time. And even beyond the realms of infinity, where existence has no governance. But the endeavor, the choice of one woman, which was to re-define the whole history of Manipur, had such a modest beginning.

It was so silent, so solemn, so serene; without the slightest trace of glitterati and paparazzi. And yet, it was beautiful, brilliant and so endearing at the same time. The humility, which was to be the backbone of the whole revolution itself, overawed me completely. I didn't want to miss a single gesture, a single word, a single movement of the finest illustration of satyagraha ever. I didn't blink. I even held my breath, in case I miss something.

But my Helloi pulled me away. And she smiled. I was annoyed. But she kept on holding to my hands and kept smiling, with her head bowed to a side. It was a beautiful sight. It was like she was promising me better things. I surrendered. She had become more than my guide. And in one graceful motion, she took the almost finished Black, dangling from my hand, and took a swift puff.

Fast forward a few years. We arrived at a desolate tea-stall. She drew my attention to a newspaper lying on the table, more particularly to one of the articles. It was about the atrocities committed against the women by the security personnel. Poignant. Beautifully written, it sent down shivers in my spine. How do the security personnel, who have got away with violating the modesty of the womenfolk in the semblance of law and security, make love to their wives back home? And the children borne out of such union with their wives are they the sons and daughters of rapists?

My Helloi was no longer smiling. There was a hard, cold look on her face. She was a woman after all. I kept looking at her. No wonder why I had fallen for her. I almost smiled to myself. But she caught me staring at her. And she looked back. She didn't even blink. But the eyes were no longer fierce. They told a story on their own. And I listened. The words of silence from her eyes.

The tragic story of a girl who got 'taken' by five monsters, on one cold wintry night, beneath the moonlight, in the same fields which she called 'home'. The girl died that day. Long long time ago. And ever since, she has become more than a woman.

Concluded....


* Czadanda Saint contributes regularly to e-pao.net
The writer can be contacted at saddanskhaibam(at)gmail(dot)com
This article was posted on November 19, 2013.


* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of e-pao.net. We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.




LATEST IN E-PAO.NET
  • Marangwon @Kangkhui Khullen #2 : Gallery
  • Cordillera in North Philippines : Gallery
  • Ithai Barrage and popular resistance
  • Moral education for a harmonious Society
  • Bad unity
  • Career in nutrition and dietetics
  • Locally made product- 'The Lois' launched
  • Inner Line Permit (ILP) Demand :: Timeline
  • The want for more
  • Only catchy phrases & alluring documents
  • Expedite FA Rally #1 : Gallery
  • Merger & Manipur State Congress #1
  • Cry of a Dying River - 41 :: Poem
  • A recreation park for elderly
  • High-time NE recreate itself as brands
  • Natural skin detox
  • Naga Peace Process :: News Timeline
  • 72nd Independence Day by AR
  • Independence Day - for whom
  • Nongpok Thong Hangba
  • Khubak Eeshei @Kang festival : Gallery
  • Punsi Sangba, Mathiupuang :: eMing
  • Arresting decline of higher education
  • RPL-PMKVY Certificate at Tripura
  • Silence :: Poem
  • AFSPA took my father
  • Dark Net: Underbelly of the internet
  • Alternative Arrangement, Article 371A
  • Petition challenging dilution AFSPA
  • Rio for integration of Naga areas
  • Brought NE closer to Delhi: PM
  • Independence Day celebrated in NE
  • Tikendrajit : The Lion of Manipur #1
  • Compressed Earth Blocks: Housing
  • Support breastfeeding among adolescent
  • Ithai: Development Decision Gone Awry
  • Who made the sports university ours?
  • An Unoccupied Forehead :: Poem
  • 'NRC should not be a political issue'
  • Independence Day : Govt needs trust
  • Apprehensions before final pact
  • NNC stand to protect Naga sovereignty
  • 'Delay in solution irks people'
  • Patriots' Day- Floral Tribute : Gallery
  • A shot at survival
  • Demography and Population Studies
  • RPL-PMKVY Certificate at Baishalgarh
  • E-Commerce to help access new markets
  • Manipur Heart Foundation Anniversary
  • Artist lineup for NH7 Weekender
  • Kakching World War-II Memorial Run
  • The Killing Fields 2013-18 : News Timeline
  • AMPWA observed Patriots' Day
  • Real homage or just showmanship
  • Drama of political clout at MU
  • Patriots' Day @ Kolkata : Gallery
  • Historical War fought by Manipur
  • Where are the nurses in HIV response?
  • Understanding false smut of rice
  • The love song of autumn :: Poem
  • Help Underprivileged Sports Youngsters
  • Police : List of Awardees on I-Day
  • NSCN-IM word on Naga unity
  • Scribes demand colleague's release
  • Jadugi Mingsel :: Folk Tale
  • Patriotism Redefined [On 13th Aug]
  • Karate Winners felicitated at Kumbi
  • Of Citizenship & Manipur People's Bill
  • Seminar : Path & Pattern in Northeast
  • 42nd Indian Social Science Congress
  • Certificate Distribution at Tripura
  • Failure by WPS-IE to arrest rapist
  • Resolutions : People's Democratic Alliance
  • ..Will it burnt the state again
  • ..Now get the killers !
  • 'Homecoming', Painting Exhibition : Gallery
  • Legacy of Resistance in Cordillera Highland
  • Woke Up, But You're Nowhere :: Poem
  • Resurgence of Sanamahism
  • Nagas & Meiteis must live together
  • No change in 1951 as Base Year : JCILPS
  • B. Voc. at DM Community College
  • Young Scholars Conference 2018
  • ..legitimacy of remaining to power
  • The precursor of things to come
  • Khangkhui Cave , Ukhrul #4 : Gallery
  • Kanglen Kang Chingba #2 : Gallery
  • Reform Manipur's Education System
  • Friendship
  • Cry of a Dying River - 40
  • World's Indigenous Peoples Day
  • Chandigarh students' solidarity with MU
  • MU agitator should withdraw their agitation
  • Repercussion of a prejudice attitude
  • Regulate school vans/buses
  • Disputed Myanmar Border Pillar : Gallery
  • Seven Breaths of Dragon :: Book Rvw
  • Chronological framework of NRC
  • Buttering Najmaji in public
  • JRF Post at Mizoram University
  • Manipur Tourism : Festival Promotion Award
  • The uneasy shift
  • Well co-ordinated rallies across dists
  • Chalwa Village, Kangpokpi #1 : Gallery
  • General strike on article 371 (A) #2 : Gallery
  • Up against the saffron brigade
  • My unsailed ship :: Poem
  • Mathematics and Science Competition
  • General Strike by ATSUM on August 10
  • Drawing Competition at Wapokpi, Bishnupur
  • ADBU delivers course to Indian Railways
  • One man that put Manipur in frying pan
  • Relax MU shut down !
  • Khumang Pokpa Haraoba #2: Gallery
  • Robert Naorem @Blr Fashion Week : Gallery
  • Territorial integrity of Manipur
  • The string :: Poem
  • General Strike by KIM on August 8
  • Robert Naorem at Bangalore Fashion Week
  • Dr. Monisha Behal's work in North East
  • Registrations for IIT Techniche workshop
  • PDA on situation in Nagaland
  • The politics of divide: MU
  • Significance of August
  • Mukna Khong Kangjei #3 : Gallery
  • Greater Nagaland or Mini Nagaland? #2
  • Paint Your City : Campaign at Kakching
  • Pemberton line in Kabaw is our boundary
  • Awakening :: Poem
  • Coffee Plantation : In-lieu of Poppy
  • Recalling of AK Pandey by HRD Ministry
  • TSA's reply to KNO/KNA's allegations
  • 21st Manipur Integrity Day : Gallery
  • Konung Kang Chingba #3 : Gallery
  • Ecological, social impact of Ithai Barrage #3
  • Swindling Manipuris in solving Naga issue
  • The Last of the Romantics :: Poem
  • 'Thoughts on MU strategies'
  • Concerned about continued closure of MU
  • Fear factor
  • No takers for 1 month leave
  • View from Shirui Hills #1 : Gallery
  • Manipur as seen by Meiteis, Nagas, & Zo
  • Certificate Distribution at Nirjuli, ArP
  • Contract Jobs available at NIELIT HQs
  • Cry of a Dying River - 39 :: Poem
  • Banana flower vada
  • Entrance for Free Residential IAS Coaching
  • Resolution of NPF Consultative Meeting
  • Concerned about militants' interference
  • Issues : From ILP, MU to FA
  • Emergence Nongda Lairen Pakhangba #2
  • MU Rally at Canchipur : Gallery
  • News Analysis 0f Akashvani Imphal
  • ILP: A Genuine Idea Lost in Translation
  • Tryst with an Alzheimer's patient #2
  • Letter to Prime Minister of India
  • Female DTP faculty reqd at Protocol
  • In between :: Poem
  • Sowing the seeds of Greater Lim
  • General strike on article 371 (A) #1 : Gallery
  • Student is important or AP Pandey
  • Article 371A is sui generis
  • Protection on Land, Environment at TML
  • Press Conference on MU Crisis at Delhi
  • Oppose extension of Article 371(A)
  • DTP-Desktop Publishing course at Nambol
  • Certificate Distribution at Namsai, ArP
  • Rejoinder to KNO/KNA on Moreh attack
  • Issues which burn Manipur State Assembly
  • The brand of politics in MU crisis
  • Central team @ BP 81 , Kwatha #3 : Gallery
  • August Calendar for Year 2018 :: Tools
  • Protest against MHRD @Delhi : Gallery
  • People's Strike greets this August
  • Slump in fight against #AIDS
  • What does moonlight want ? :: Poem
  • MU students protest against MHRD
  • An Unknown killer - "E-Waste"
  • Talking peace and threatening others
  • Singcha Wuya Won @Kamjong #1 : Gallery
  • Dismal Politics in Universities
  • Kanglen Kang Chingba #1 : Gallery
  • Engulfing Uncertainties
  • Ecological, social impact of Ithai Barrage #2
  • Certificate Distribution at Dibang, ArP
  • EEVFAM case: Report for 30 July
  • Pertaining to statement of T. R. Zeliang
  • Issues plaguing the state
  • What is the stand of BJP Govt ?
  • Monsoon Assembly Session : Gallery
  • Election 2019: end of road for Modi
  • The absurd baby talk :: Poem
  • Assam University BTech, MTech Admission
  • Saving the Rhinos - Campaign
  • Arrest perpetrators of Moreh attack
  • Training programmes of NCC
  • Central team @ BP 81 , Kwatha #2 : Gallery
  • MU: Students clash with Police #2: Gallery
  • Prospects of coffee in Manipur
  • Why ILP should not be implemented
  • Hill students get alert on Trafficking
  • IBSD Meghalaya inaugurated
  • Conference on India-Vietnam
  • Govt's strategically pre planned conflict
  • Heart ruptured but life saved
  • Pseudo intellectuals should stop thinking
  • Mass sit-in protest : How about Nagaland?
  • Folklore genres of Meetei community
  • Kang Khichri chaba : Gallery
  • Binalakshmi Nepram at United Nations, NY
  • Out to clear her name
  • Central team @ BP 81 , Kwatha #1 : Gallery
  • Our Common Crisis: What are We to Do #3
  • Pay Nareckpi : Funga Wari
  • Kayada Ningthijaba Lambino : Story telling
  • Yumkhaibam Nanao: Walking from Delhi..
  • Ningol Pali at Kang Festival : Gallery
  • Eyek Tamba :: Learn Manipuri script
  • Kanglen Kang Chingba : Gallery
  • Front Page Photo 2018 #3: Gallery
  • Art Exhibit @Imphal Art College #1 : Gallery
  • Kang Khichri chaba @Kwakeithel : Gallery
  • Dzuko valley #4 :: 360 Panorama View
  • Manglandasu Nang - OST :: e-pao Radio
  • HSLC 208 Exam Toppers : Gallery
  • Class XII Exam Toppers : Gallery
  • Temples of Manipur : Gallery
  • Old Manipuri Movie #1 :: eRang Classic
  • SPONSORED ADS