Warding Off Evil Eyes
I have been hearing a lot about the plight of NE females in the other parts of India,
specially Delhi. I have put down some defense mechanism against unwanted lecherous mayangs or for that matter, any lecherous character. This is what you need to do :
1. Carry chilly powder - just sprinkle them in their eyes. I got this wonderful inspiration from a film I had seen long time back. I think its called 'Mirch Masala'.
2. Carry a small knife - get inspiration from Lorena Bobbitt. You can do it.
3. Practise some football - aim straight for their balls. I swear, they will never dare look at another female, let alone NE gals.
4. Look straight into their eyes and ask if they are not scared of AIDS. Spread rumours that all NE gals are infected with it. That sure would reduce rape cases of NE gals.
5. Get angry, really really angry when they tease you. You secrete a hormone called 'adrenaline', nick named 'fight or flight hormone', and you get extra energy with it. With that instant energy, you can throw a person miles away.
6. Grow nails - aim for their face and scratch. It aint no scratch if they dont yell in pain.
7. Bite. But let this be your last option. You needn't taste some horrible raw flesh unless absolutely necessary.
8. Learn boxing. Again, face is the best area to practice.
9. Run. Real fast. When you know you are out of their reach but they can still hear your voice, sing 'chinky pinky ponky, faster than a donkey'. A stupid childish stunt but sometimes doing childish stuffs gives you a high.
10. Wear something comfortable. Micro-minis and high heels should be restricted to places where you party with small known group of people who are harmless until, of course, you are extremely comfortable running with a high heeled sandal.
Contributed by Tampakleima who contributes for the first time to e-pao.net
This WJ was webcasted on 17th May 2005.