TODAY -

The Right To My Existence ?
- Part 2 -

Louriyam Bebica *



"Give us also the right to our existence" -Stephen's plea to God in Radcliffe's The Well of Loneliness.
"We can't get any where if we're a hidden people" -Barbara Gittings in an interview with Philadelphia Gay News in august 2005.


In fear of his dad's cane stick he tried to fit into the world that was stated by his dad for him. Every second in the presence of his dad he pretended that he likes playing football rather than playing house -house with his sister. He acted as if he likes to keep short hair like his elder brother does. But he felt alienated whenever he tried to set himself into his dad's world Since his teenage he was clear of his sexual desires. But he was too scared to reveal it to the society and his dad. His dad often says he was out of his mind.

That remained him of Gittings' father's letter to her 'the book is obscene and immoral'. She should destroy it so no one else could set their hands on it. Her father's reaction on finding the book The Well of Loneliness in her room was same like his dad's reaction on seeing him with his mom's blouse. The only suggestion his neighbors and relatives gave to his dad was to beat him till his back bone is crush into powder. According to them this was the only way to bring his son to sense. That's what his dad did whenever Elan tried to the way he is. None came to tell his dad to talk to him and ask who is he really, what is his heart says on his existence.

He tried dating Mary. She was one of his class mates in his secondary college. He went on dates taking her on the bike his father bought for him. It was always fun roaming with her, cracking jokes. But it was not Mary's hip that turns him on but her elder brother's who came to drop her to college every day. He was in dilemma thinking he was dating Mary bcoz he loves her or it was to enjoy the pleasurable moments of watching her brother's hip. The answer felt more into his brother.

Most of the males of his college either ignored or make fun of him. They treated him like an untouchable. Every second he spent inside the college campus was as horrible as being on the stake of fire. The only two things that he liked in that campus were talking with Mary and watching her brother. With the support of his mom he convinced his dad to allow him to pursue the course of makeup artist. He met Tomba there, a guy from a nearby village. Since then they were inseparable.

The news of their relation wasn't a shock to Eli's family. However, Tomb's family was uncontrollable. His parents went to pour out the blame to Eli's parents.

- Bina …come out. Where are you hiding? A mother like you can do nothing than hiding. It is all because of the sin you did in your last incarnations; you gave birth to a son like him. Come out.

Tomb's mom was shouting so loudly that their neighbors began to gather.

- Iche ibemma, what happen?

Eli's mom came out hearing the noise of word's gun.

- Are you asking me what happen? Don't act too innocent. I hate to see that fake expression on your face.

- Iche ibemma, can you please cool down for a while and tell me what happen.

- Oh! Really? Don't you know that your so called son or half daughter has smitten my son with black magic? He didn't come home since day before yesterday and it is known to everyone that he is staying in your son's room that is above his parlor.

- Iche ibemma, I am listening to you silently doesn't mean you can say anything against my son.

- Ahaiyo…you are showing me your color. If I were you I would've committed suicide out of shame after giving birth to a son like Eli.

- Yeah, a woman like you who doesn't know the love of being a mother deserves to commit suicide. About my son I am proud of him. No one has the right to speak against my son.

- Oh! Really? I am speaking bcoz I got the right. You seem to forget that Tomba is my son. If you don't send my son home by today's evening then I will lodge a complaint against your son in the police station on the ground of kidnapping.

- Do whatever you want. Let me see who can touch my son.

Tomba's mom went off muttering and cursing Eli and his family. Though Eli's mom has challenged that no one can hurt her baby, deep down she knew that her baby gonna get hurt no matter how much she tries to save him. She broke down so wildly into tears that none could stop her. That incident took place before three months back. Tomba was send back home and things were cool down.

But Eli never spoke nor smiled since that day. With a sudden blow he came into the kitchen and announced his plan to get married on that day. His mom didn't know whether to be happy or bcoz her son spoke up or to be sad over what he spoke. None of them could sleep the whole night, Eli, neither his mom nor his sister. All of them were praying for a better day by the next morning.

The next day, Eli was fully dressed up in his wedding dress. He was looking gorgeous in that white dress. Few of his friends gathered to attend the marriage.

His mom came to attend despite strict restriction imposed on her by his dad. She came to be by the side of her son in every possible good and bad situation. Eli broke into tears seeing her there.

- Mamma thanks for coming.

- You are looking gorgeous, my child.

Lifting her face towards him, holding his beautiful face in her hands, she stared as if even aphsara couldn't compete his son in beauty.

- Who will conduct the marriage?

- Mamma, none agreed to do. So, one of our friends will do it.

- It's ok, my dear. Marriage is all about your heart bonding with your partner. It doesn't matters in which form you conduct it.

She didn't know if her words were soothing him or not. The only thing she could do was to try her best to make him feel secured. The schedule of marriage was set for 10.30a.m.but there was no sign of Tomba though the clock has struck 1.00 p.m. There were anxiousness and tension on every one's face that were presence there. She saw her son's hope melting in that crowd. Holding his hand tightly.

- Eli, don't worry he will come.

Eli's eyes were fixed at the entrance door of the hall. Though his mom keeps on assuring him he was afraid to face the truth that was coming in to his way. The time was 3.45p.m on the clock hanging on the wall of the hall. Ricky, one of his friends, came running.

-Eli, Eli, Tomba got eloped with a woman of his mom's choice.

The flowers that were in his hand fell on the floor. He said nothing, then tried to free his hand from his mom. His mom was still assuring him that things gonna be ok. He stood from the chair and walked serenely till he reached his parlor .He gave a painful smile to his mom who was following him throughout the road.

- Mamma, please go back home. I am ok.

- Eli.

- Mamma, I am late to open my parlor.

He walked up on the steps to open his parlor lifting the gown with his both hands.

Some said it's a dirty game, some said it's gift of God
Some think it's the reasons of ailments
Some accused it's the excuse of sex
Some argued it's the abode of two souls
Some blame I am a sinner
Some confess it's me & it's in me
why do you alienate me only bcoz I am attracted to my own sex
However it's a good feeling & God's gift
No matters how you coin me I will be I am
Bcoz isn't love universal?
Allow me on my existence.


[This short story is dedicated to every homosexual people to let you know that we love you all.]

Concluded .............


* Louriyam Bebica wrote this article for Hueiyen Lanpao (English Edition)
This article was posted on September 13, 2012.



* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of e-pao.net. We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.




LATEST IN E-PAO.NET
  • HSE 2017 : Toppers in Science :: Gallery
  • CCpur victims laid to rest :: Gallery
  • Class XII result announced :: Gallery
  • 2nd Startup Weekend Imphal
  • Interdependence is key to #endTB
  • Urban flood effective mgmt strategies #2
  • Public Meet resolves No Oil Exploration
  • UG admission info for Delhi University 2017
  • College Principals' Conference at NEHU
  • Mortal remains of CCpur victims laid to rest
  • Redefining Manipuri Hindu
  • Last rites of CCpur bodies performed
  • Private tuition : Financial burden on parents
  • Nungbi Chaphu - Ukhrul Pottery :: Gallery
  • International Yoga Day #1 :: Gallery
  • New Government, New Hope #2
  • Auditorium of High Court of Manipur :: 360 °
  • Book publishing as a career option
  • Simplifying the pursuit of happiness
  • Shirui festival: Let us not go with words..
  • Count pigeons around you
  • The Killing Fields :: News Timeline
  • Hill dists : Lagging in Science stream
  • The lesser truth of National media
  • HSE 2017 Result :: Science Toppers
  • HSE 2017 Result :: Arts Toppers
  • HSE 2017 Result :: Commerce Toppers
  • HSE 2017 Result :: Science Stream
  • HSE 2017 Result :: Arts Stream
  • HSE 2017 Result :: Commerce Stream
  • Barak Spring Festival @Senapati :: Gallery
  • Phalneilhing, Sinchui :: eMing
  • Incarnations of Goddess Nongthang Leima
  • Ebudhou Thanjing Laishang #1 :: 360 °
  • Media & Contemporary Manipuri Society #2
  • Cleaning up the air we breathe
  • 'Maj Rati Keteki', an author's insight
  • Inner Line Permit (ILP) Demand :: Timeline
  • SC notices in Biren son case
  • Army act extended by six months
  • Timely acted, but need to rethink...
  • Lamkang Cultural Day @Chandel :: Gallery
  • Ambassador Of Japan with CM :: Gallery
  • JNIMS Ortho scripts history
  • Indigenous people are ST, so are Meeteis
  • Grooming security experts in admin service
  • Parents are supposed to be cheer leaders ..
  • Applauds CM for Building Peace & Harmony
  • 2 trucks carrying logs seized
  • Japan to invite 25 people from Manipur
  • Bomb blasts rock border town in Manipur
  • Shirui Lily Festival, Ukhrul #2 :: Gallery
  • Eyek Tamba :: Learn Manipuri script
  • 73rd anniv of Battle of Imphal :: Gallery
  • Nachom Arts : Encouraging Artists
  • Manipur: In the waiting room of justice
  • Cheiraoba Ching Kaba :: 360 ° View
  • Of storms, flying saucers & lazy thoughts
  • Anti-Terrorism day observed
  • Ex-Servicemen Meet organised
  • Managing natural resources
  • Ksh Bhaktakumar- Mr India 2017:: Gallery
  • Tanglei Music Festival :: Gallery
  • Effort To Bridge The Hills And Valley
  • Colloquium: Japanese Culture & Nationalism
  • Meet rejects oil exploration at Khaidem
  • Training on Service Marketing in Healthcare
  • Illegal migrant detection with 1951 cut-off
  • Indo-Naga Talks 2017 :: News Timeline
  • Ghost of 2010 continues to haunt
  • Brahmacharimayum Roji - Actress :: eRang
  • Handloom @Temporary Market #1:: Gallery
  • New Government, New Hope #1
  • Nightmares of event management
  • Big data for big impact
  • Free Counselling & Awareness Program
  • One belt one road
  • Jobs: Counseller for Family Court, Ukhrul
  • Sadar Hills Demand 2011-2017 : Timeline
  • Total shutdown against blast in Moreh
  • Tribals reject MoU signed- govt, JACAATB
  • Naga Hoho appeals NIA over arrests
  • First visible step to check corruption
  • International Dance Day :: Gallery
  • Gudui Ngai @Majorkhul #2 :: Gallery
  • Manipur Children Club:: 360 ° View
  • Take smart choice before admissions
  • Love one another ... for living together
  • Shirui Lily Fest off to a grand start
  • On Shirui festival
  • Seminar on 'Life of Gangmumei Kamei' #2
  • Shirui Lily Fest @Shirui, Ukhrul #1 :: Gallery
  • Civil Service Tennis Tournament :: Gallery
  • Barak(Spring) Festival at Senapati
  • When will India cashless island go cashless
  • The winsomeness of human mind
  • Jobs at NIELIT centers
  • Aadhar Registration & Distribution Program
  • Work starts on Trilateral Highway in Myanmar
  • AI plans NE expansion, to inject more flights
  • People's Day Bridging the gap
  • Reality bite - something seems fishy
  • Meeyamgi Numit hosted by CM :: Gallery
  • Andro AMMA FC : Winner of Doon Cup 2017
  • How great is my mother's love for me
  • Boat House, Kangla :: 360 ° View
  • Pinch of love :: Poem
  • Fingerprint & Iris code for Aadhaar
  • Sharmila solidarity with Africans
  • Trust deficit in Framework Agreement
  • Equality in place of majoritarianism
  • A hope for better Manipur
  • Kangleipak Kang Trophy #3:: Gallery
  • Featured Photo for 2017 #2 :: Gallery
  • Gudui Ngai : Festival of Zeliangrong
  • Fishery as an agenda for Barak Festival
  • Supermom :: Poem
  • 2nd Startup Weekend Imphal
  • May Day #2 :: Essay
  • For inclusion of Meitei in ST category
  • NE turning into a hub of Cannabis
  • Muslims cannot dissolve marriage- Guv
  • Police probing 'threat' to SC advocate
  • Hands that rock the cradle rule the world
  • Film Personalities #1 :: eRang Classic
  • Handicrafts of the Zeliangrong #2
  • High Court of Manipur :: 360 ° View
  • From head-hunters into money-hunters
  • Importance of dialectic in Philosophy
  • Binalakshmi Nepram threatened by Police
  • Cleanliness drive conducted at CCpur
  • Gudui Ngai @Majorkhul #1 :: Gallery
  • Bringing TB out of the shadows
  • Women are the salt of the earth
  • Superstition and its side-effects
  • Temples of learning
  • Guidelines of play schools
  • Bucket of cold water after a hot shower
  • Breaking the barrier
  • Lai Lamthokpa @Yaiskul #2 :: Gallery
  • MIMS (MU) - ManFete #4 :: Gallery
  • Impact of October Revolution Manipur #2
  • Bir Tikendrajit Park :: 360 °
  • Nurses are heart beat of healthcare
  • The Sun Behind the Cloud :: Poem
  • Nagas of Nagaland can decide their future
  • 85 unelectrified villages to be lit up by Dec
  • Go to the hill districts too
  • Beginning of a new era; but ...
  • Seminar on 'Life of Gangmumei Kamei' #1
  • OORJA football Closing ceremony :: Gallery
  • May 10, 1942: first bomb hit Imphal in WW2
  • Manipur killings: Amicus Curiae on Army...
  • A white paper on good governance
  • Butterfly a living parable of resurrection
  • Global Manipuri Mega Photo Contest
  • Inquiry on "School Van accident"
  • Inking an MoU with CCpur JAC
  • Calls for human security
  • Laishram Lalitabi - Actress :: eRang
  • Manipur & Nagaland CMs :: Gallery
  • Cheirao Ching Kaba #1 :: 360 ° Photo
  • MLA - defection politics in Manipur
  • Japan interest to develop Education in NE
  • CM floral tribute to Martyred Jawans
  • More than a 'courtesy call'
  • Development & security matters
  • Thongjao potters adapt to modern reqt
  • Prize Distribution- MU Sports :: Gallery
  • Handicrafts of the Zeliangrong #1
  • Imphal Intl Airport : How International?
  • The mystery of nine :: Poem
  • RIST popular talk 29 - Molecular Electronics
  • Gudui Ngai celebrated
  • 122nd rank in the list of cleanliness
  • Consumers' rights
  • Sagol Kangjei Exhibition :: Gallery
  • Musuem, Kangla :: 360 ° photo
  • Keeping workforce healthy-smart business
  • Brief story of Karl Marx (199th Birth Anniv)
  • Manipuri resurgence & Jewish lessons
  • Visit of Japanese Ambassador to MU
  • Poems released at Barapani, Meghalaya
  • CMD, NHPC Visit to Loktak Power Station
  • Right venue for seminar on bridging the gap
  • Landscape of Manipur #6: Wallpaper
  • Impact of October Revolution Manipur #1
  • Climate change: Case study on wildlife
  • Longing for peace in this region
  • Why happiness can be so elusive
  • ShiRock 2017 at Ukhrul
  • Airline Ticketing Consultant training
  • Civil Society Delegation met CM
  • Lai Lamthokpa @Yaiskul #1 :: Gallery
  • Shwedagon Pagoda, Yangon #1 :: Gallery
  • Binalakshmi Nepram selected by Colombia
  • Separate time zone for NE : Petition
  • Arbind Soibam - Emerging Singer :: eRang
  • Phaknung rape protest @Kakching :: Gallery
  • MIMS (MU) - ManFete #3 :: Gallery
  • Traditional Thabal @Pourabi :: Gallery
  • River Bank Music Festival :: Gallery
  • Henjunaha - A folk play :: Gallery
  • The Mighty Mystic Manipuri Women
  • Arambai show #2:: Gallery
  • Shakuhachi meets Pena, Manipur & Japan
  • Tributes paid on Khongjom Day #2:: Gallery
  • Laishram Birendrakumar recieve Padmashri
  • Kei Onba Kom Gi Eshing :: Funga Wari
  • 'Nura Pakhang'(Video) @Portugal:: Gallery
  • Mr India 2017- Ksh Bhaktakumar :: Gallery
  • Purul, Senapati :: 360 View Panorama
  • Ethoi Oinam #1 (Actress) :: eRang
  • Nura Pakhang : Music video
  • Sajibu Cheiraoba @Pune :: Gallery
  • Thabal Chongba @Kolkata :: Gallery
  • CM N Biren visit to Ukhrul #2 :: Gallery
  • Manipur Sangai Festival 2016 #4 : Ooba
  • Nungshiba Khongel @Sylhet :: Gallery
  • Maphou Dam :: 360 View Panorama
  • SPONSORED ADS