TODAY -

E-Pao! WJ - Stages of Drunkeness

Stages of Drunkeness

Rajasekhar Moirangthem *



Wishing it was a double Jack Daniel on the rocks to steam off my anxieties I anxiously downed the glass of designer water set on the table. The board of directors were rather too tricky and smart with experiences to corner us and shoot us questions which were beyond our imaginations.

Nevertheless I managed a 100 watts smile and answered as politely and knowledgeably whatever information my almost frizzled up brains could muster up. The show was finally over and so was my soberness. And along came the drunkenness.

Stage1- SMART

Of course I was smart; in fact every group member of my project was, after having a few much needed drinks at the student bar. Some already became expert on every subject on the known universe who minutes ago were gibbering nonsense during the presentation.

Everybody wanted to pass on knowledge to anyone willing to listen and of course anyone who argued was very wrong because he/she was SMART. This however turned out into a boxing ring when 2 members of my group were as SMART as each other but finally whisked both away from the ring by the ladies with some soothing words.

Stage 2-GOOD LOOKING

Well, singing better tracks than the Beattles, rocking more than Elvis Presley's jailhouse rocks inside the shower and when you finally dressed up in front of the mirror with more grease than John Travolta dares put on, your liquor fuelled hazy brain gave you and still convinced you that you were the BEST LOOKING person in the entire club and that girls fancied you.

So I went up straight to perfect strangers believing they really fancied me and really wanted to talk to me and strike up conversations.(bear in the mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to these people about any subject under the sun). A lucky few of us hooked girls/guys and followed the club rituals; some ogling in the private lounge, some burning the dance floor etc (which I don't want to go into details) while the rest already had entered the 3rd stage.

Stage 3-RICH

This was when some of my friends suddenly became the richest person in the world by buying drinks for the entire club as if they had an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. At this stage, betting was a common phenomenon; because of course you were still SMART.

It also didn't matter to them who won or lost or how much they bet because they were RICH. Naturally a friend of mine parted with 250 since the other Caribbean guy managed to drown himself in sea of whisky (15 double shots of JD in 1 minute,, for those who want to know the details).

Stage4-BULLET PROOF

At this stage we were either ready to fight or do something strange because nothing could hurt us. One of my friends at this stage went up to a partner of the girl whom he fancied and challenged to a battle of GOOD LOOKING by asking the girl if she was indeed blind as a bat to fool around with a snotty-pigged face loser.

The brawl was of short lived but the consequences were heavy. Apparently he was thrashed by the gang in the cubicle but still my friend had no fear of losing the battle because he was SMART, he was RICH, and hell he was BETTER LOOKING than they were anyway!! (My BULLET-PROOF buddy couldn't walk for the rest of the semester).

Stage5-INVISIBLE

This is the final stage of drunkenness. Since we were inadvertently kicked out of the club due to the ruckus we failed to relieve ourselves in the loo. After all at this stage you believed you could do anything because NO ONE COULD SEE YOU. Not bothering much about the ladies' presence (after all you are INVISIBLE), one of my buddies went straight to the telephone booth and came back after a while.

Later I asked what he did there; to my surprise his answer solved my problem. So I followed his tracks and did exactly like him, i.e, making a fake call and pissing inside the telephone booth, no sooner did I came out from the booth than a new friend of mine not so accustomed to English language followed the band wagon.

However while relieving him inside the booth and the girls laughing the living daylight out of them (coz then they knew what was happening inside), out of nowhere 2 beat officers found it quite perplexed to see water streaming down from the booth.

Sadly INVISIBLITY stage ended for my other friend inside the booth. No matter how much he drank from that day on, he still couldn't attain the INVISIBLE tag because after all HE WAS KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE CAMPUS AS THE GUY WHO TOOK THE COSTLIEST PISS EVER IN LIFE WORTH 100!

P.S: The stages of drunkenness may be less or more than 5 stages or whatsoever depending on your experiences and I don't want to argue about it.


Rajasekhar Moirangthem writes regularly to e-pao.net
He can be reached at rsmoirangthem@yahoo.com
This article was webcasted on 28th November 2005.


* Comments posted by users in this discussion thread and other parts of this site are opinions of the individuals posting them (whose user ID is displayed alongside) and not the views of e-pao.net. We strongly recommend that users exercise responsibility, sensitivity and caution over language while writing your opinions which will be seen and read by other users. Please read a complete Guideline on using comments on this website.




LATEST IN E-PAO.NET
  • Imoinu Erat Thouni #2 : Gallery
  • CAB Protest #1 [21 Jan] : Gallery
  • Rongmei and Kabui are one
  • Rani Khidir : Kalaritu (Laiyekpa) : Profile
  • MPs in Lok Sabha must be increased
  • Sri Hanumanji is universal :: WJ
  • Facing the consequences
  • Words of caution for the expendable citizens
  • 11 in line for Congress ticket
  • Gaan-Ngai @Majorkhul #1 : Gallery
  • Eyek Tamba :: Learn Manipuri script
  • CAB, 2016: Ethnocide of Indigenous People
  • When 7th Pay & UGC regulations for college
  • Truthfully Yours :: Poem
  • Detox your hair
  • Job Openings at PR Enterprises, Imphal
  • Police action to protestors in Tripura
  • India in grave danger
  • Issues, issues everywhere, anytime
  • Match: 4th Women's Polo #1: Gallery
  • CAB Protest [17 Jan] : Gallery
  • Ranjit Ningthouja : Profile of a playwright
  • Poetry Of Manipuri Women Authors #3
  • Bird's Eye view at 'Go To School' Mission
  • 10 % reservation & ST demand ?
  • Poetic Justice - III :: Poem
  • Inner Line Permit (ILP) Demand :: Timeline
  • Legislative Assistant to MP- Fellowship
  • The changing face of Manipuri youths
  • Rolling up sleeves for ST tag
  • Symbolism in the Tribal Art #1
  • Chongdeinem, Abothem :: eMing
  • ST Demand - Poster Campaign : Gallery
  • Retrospective View On Driver's Day
  • Integrated farming & its importance
  • Nightingales in winter :: Poem
  • Tour to Delhi for border area students
  • Nagaland Cabinet Meeting on CAB
  • Gaan-Ngai @Chingmeirong : Gallery
  • Gaan-Ngai - festival of Kabui #1
  • Protest against CAB [Jan 15] #2: Gallery
  • Gaan-Ngai, Festival of Zeliangrong
  • Understanding Mao Tse-Tung
  • Of Vernacular & my Enlightenment..
  • Teacher wanted at Tekcham High School
  • Demanding release of Kishorechandra
  • BJP's Agenda : Curtain raised
  • Topping in enrolment in pvt schools
  • Imoinu Erat Thouni #1 : Gallery
  • Gaan Ngai :: Flash Presentation
  • CAB Protest [16 Jan] : Gallery
  • Dr Thokchom Asha: Teacher Award
  • Cry of a Dying River - 62 :: Poem
  • Occasion & festivity as career choice
  • Rejoinder to NDPP on CAB by NPF
  • Saving tomorrow for our children
  • Open invitation to Mission schools
  • Women's Intl Polo [Jan 17] : Gallery
  • A Hymn for Goddess Emoinu
  • Manipur tops enrolment in private schools
  • Variance of laboratory results
  • A Christian perspective on solidarity #2
  • Naga International Trade Fair at Dimapur
  • Has Loktak mortgaged to Company
  • CAB: Lining up public convention on Jan 20
  • Purnima Ngangom (Printmaker) :: Profile
  • CAB Protest [11 Jan] #3 : Gallery
  • Poetry Of Manipuri Women Authors #2
  • CAB & scoring 21 out of 25 ?
  • Complications :: Poem
  • North East Business Summit at Delhi
  • Almond oil is the ultimate skin care
  • The Bill that haunt the government
  • Over 50 police personnel chargesheeted
  • Insurgency related incidents in NE states
  • Myanmar border fence going nowhere
  • Protest against CAB [Jan 15] #1: Gallery
  • Crop diseases & organic way of managing
  • War and Poetry :: Poem
  • Landeng-Pena yakaiduna Poster Campaign
  • The Killing Fields 2013-18 : News Timeline
  • Condemns communal nature of CAB 2016
  • PCC, Arunachal Pradesh on CAB, 2016
  • CAB and other issues before LS polls
  • Sit-In against CAB [Jan 14] : Gallery
  • CAB : Our Identity & Culture is at stake
  • Re-Imagining the Naga Peace Process
  • Demand for ILP :: Articles/Photos...
  • Northeast Startup Summit 2019
  • Ponder them to live like human beings
  • No Shield for Manipur against CAB
  • Missing link: NE, CAB & obscure assurance
  • JCILPS Protest against CAB : Gallery
  • AMUCO Rally against CAB : Gallery
  • Poetic Justice - II :: Poem
  • Makar Sankranti Musing
  • Biren should release Kishorchandra
  • New archaeological site in Senapati
  • A Christian perspective on solidarity #1
  • New craft gallery to promote NE products
  • Rights body warns Nagas on Article 371 (A)
  • NE Black Day against CAB : Gallery
  • CAB Protest [11 Jan] #2 : Gallery
  • Narendra Modi @ Imphal #2: Gallery
  • Myanmar-India Business Summit, Sagaing
  • Cry of a Dying River - 61 :: Poem
  • Preventing the Dengue threat
  • NPF on Citizenship Amendment Bill, 2016
  • Nagaland Chief Minister On CAB 2016
  • Hijacking by pseudoscience
  • Mr. CM, you can't fool people on CAB
  • CAB 2016: Adoption of foreign citizens
  • CAB Protest [11 Jan] #1 : Gallery
  • CAB & question of India's North East
  • Poetry Of Manipuri Women Authors #1
  • Local actions for #GlobalGoals
  • Know your HIV status
  • Pope Francis - the last Pope!
  • CAB is unsecular discriminatory bill
  • When Govt. disregard Constitutions...
  • Citizenship Bill: An exceptional exception
  • The Walking Lady : A Short Story
  • 4th Convocation Ceremony of CAU
  • The Voice of Silence :: Poem
  • Against CAB 2016 : 6 Student Bodies
  • Need for a separate time zone
  • BOOM MMA : 'Manipur Top Team' members
  • Against Citizenship Bill Act 2016
  • Lt Gen Rajeev Sirohi at Spear Corps
  • Is the middle man responsible
  • Economically weak at Rs 8 lakh per annum ?
  • Umanglai Haraoba: Traditional Institution
  • Strike against CAB : Gallery
  • People - animal conflict
  • Fine on relieving in public
  • Flawed/divisive Citizenship Bill dangerous
  • Broken :: Poem
  • Meetei gi mayokta leiba Political party..
  • NE uniting under shutdown call : CAB
  • Trains in NE to get 'glass-top' coaches
  • Yubi Lakpi #2 : Gallery
  • Freedom's fault lines
  • Traditional Manipuri Curries
  • Governance in Multi-Ethnic States
  • Understanding animal welfare
  • Unite against corruption for development
  • Manipurgi Maraibk Kari Oihougani
  • On restoring of director of CBI
  • Citizenship Bill : scourge for NE
  • Feel good factor from UNC
  • New Year picnic at Sekmai #2: Gallery
  • A tale of two falcons
  • Artificial Insemination in livestock
  • The Naked Truth :: Poem
  • My itinerary visit to Veeranapalya
  • Test for Free Coaching for IIT/AIIMS
  • Critique of Transgender Persons Bill
  • Press Rejoinder from NPF [7 Jan]
  • Nagaland Cabinet on Citizenship Bill
  • Can we expect something from govt
  • Mova Cave, Ukhrul #2 :: Gallery
  • Sangai Fest: Sumo Wrestling #2 :: Gallery
  • Maipaksana RK: Entrepreneurship Award
  • Poetic Justice - I
  • IIT-G Technology Incubation Centre
  • Sana Chahi Ahum & 1857 revolt #2
  • Economics of climate change & growth
  • Singhat Students tour to Delhi & Agra
  • Congress against Modi on Rafale Deal
  • Press Club celebrates foundation day
  • NSF to impose 11-hr bandh on Jan 8
  • 518 drug traffickers arrested in 2018
  • Gangmumei Kamei Memorial lecture
  • Taking the Street Vendor seriously #1
  • WWII museums in Japan: Gallery
  • Schedule : HSLC Examination 2019
  • Schedule : Class XI Examination 2019
  • Schedule : HSE Examination 2019
  • Caste System in Contemporary India: Book
  • Save energy and save your skin
  • Benefits of henna for beauty
  • Coronary In-stent obstruction treated
  • A take on PM visit to Imphal
  • No over the top promises, assurances
  • Narendra Modi @ Imphal #1: Gallery
  • Management of commercial broiler farming
  • 61st CC Meet Football Tournament 2019
  • Noise Ruins & Blights Lives
  • Social media & freedom of speech
  • Cry of a Dying River - 60 :: Poem
  • Declare war against air pollution
  • Winter relief at Thanga
  • Of monologues and conveniences
  • Raising posers before PM's arrival: Cong
  • Irengbam Bedamani :: eRang Photos
  • Poireiton Chakhao at Loktak Lake
  • Naga Peace Process :: News Timeline
  • New Year picnic at Sekmai #1: Gallery
  • Sangai Fest: Evening Prog #2: Gallery
  • Nupi Lal Ningsing Lamjel #4: Gallery
  • Bye Bye 2018 !!! : Gallery
  • Manipuri Calendar for 2019 : Download
  • Featured Front Page Photo 2018 #6: Gallery
  • A view of Ukhrul Town #1: Gallery
  • January Calendar for Year 2019 :: Tools
  • National Mathematics Day & Ramanujan
  • Snowfall @Tamei, Tamenglong : Gallery
  • China spreads across Indochina Peninsula
  • Ningol Chakkouba Shopping #2: Gallery
  • Xmas: Churches @Lamphel : Gallery
  • The Crying Call of Motherland :: Poem
  • Kwatha Festival #3 : Gallery
  • Harvard Leadership Program at Don Bosco
  • Christmas @Churachandpur : Gallery
  • UN Rapporteur briefed on Kishorechand
  • Nupi Lal Ningsing Lamjel #3: Gallery
  • Irengbam Bedamani - Actress :: eRang
  • List of Restricted Holidays for 2019
  • List of Public Holidays for 2019
  • List of General Holidays for 2019
  • Ningol - mapam lamdam : Gallery
  • Fabrics of Bangladeshi Manipuri: Download
  • Manglandasu Nang - OST :: e-pao Radio
  • Old Manipuri Movie #1 :: eRang Classic
  • SPONSORED ADS