My mom's love story
- Part 1 -
Louriyam Bebica *
"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples, no need of complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness".
– Dalai Lama.
"One's own religion is after all a matter of between oneself and one's maker and no one else".
– Mahatma Gandhi
I had never seen my mom happy. I am the only dear one she has since my dad left her. I never asked the reason why he left her and remarried again. She often told me she will narrate her love story some day when I am old enough .When she spoke about her love story; I can see an unseen pain and happiness in her eyes. She seems to be proud and comfortable with her love story.
That looks in her eyes confused me. If they were happy with each other and deep in love why my dad leaves her? When I was in my high school, he often came to see me after he broke up with my mom. I try to persuade him to come back home but he never turn to us, though he said yes on my every request. As I grew old, his presence in my life began to minimize. Now, it's been years that I haven't seen him nor talked. My neighbors told me that he remarried and got a daughter baby - it must be the reason of his complete absence from my life now.
It was my last day of final exam of graduation. I received one message from my mother on my mobile. "Angel come home, mamma & her love story is waiting for you". I text her back, 'Ok mamma, exam got over just now'. I don't know why my mom text me that message. No doubt, I do chat with mom through SMSs unlike those boring moms who think they should keep distance from their kids to maintain discipline. My mom tries to learn every new thing that I learn so that she won't fail in communicating with me. It's not her text that confused me but the 'words' in her text. After every exam, she usually asked me how I performed in my exam but today she mentions nothing of that.
-Hey Angel, let's have something in the canteen. Come on, its last day of our college day, dude.
When I was about to start my scooty, Rocky stopped me with the rest of our group.
-Hey, sorry dude, I need to rush home. Mom wants me to be home as soon as possible. Sorry.
-Oh! Come on, you can meet your mom later on. After all, you are staying with her and it's our last day in this boring college. Ek party toh banta hein, right?
-I understand you guys, but I am sorry. Let's meet on farewell day next week, babai.
I know I disappointed them. However, I was hapless since I was desperate to go home and see my mom. I waved my hand to them and began driving home. The door of our house was wide open when I reach home as if it has been waiting for me for long.
-Mamaa, mamaa, where are you?
I was screaming. Somehow I was scared of what might be happening in my house, specially that wide open door and my mom's silent. She usually waits for me either at the gate or the door before I reached home. But that day she was nowhere to be seen.
-You are home?
She was sitting in her favorite arm chair that my dad gifted her on their first anniversary. She was looking at the photo that was hanging on her room's wall.
-Mamma, Are you ok?
I kneel down in front of her & hold her hand.
-Yes, Angel I am ok. So, how was your exam?
She was questioning me but her eyes were still fixed on that photo. In fact, it was my favorite too. It was their marriage photo. Unlike the photos of other couples, none were there in that photo. No grandma, grandpa or any of our relatives. Nor I`ve seen any relatives since I gained my sense. I could see the strong love that runs between them in that photo. They were holding each other's hands, looking at each other, giving a promise in silent way.
-Yes, mamma, it was ok. Are you alright?
I asked her again with concern.
-Yes, my little one, get that chair near my bed. Make yourself comfortable. It is a long story. So, you get seated properly, you need patience to hear it.
-Mamaa, are you really gonna tell me your love story? I know I often ask you to tell me but mamma if it's gonna cause you more pain then I don't need to hear it. You've gone through so much pain, I don't wanna give you any more.
-No, no, if I don't tell you then you might also say that your mom betrayed the whole world.
-I was the last and only daughter of my parents. Both my parents and elder brothers treated me like a princess in a kingdom. As a child, I was a bright student and energetic in extra curriculum. My dad thought I was much ahead of both my brothers since I could debate on any current political issues without getting defeated in hands of my opposition. He often talked of me as the reason of his pride and fame in our family.
I was growing up into a blissful teenage girl. I met your dad in our high school when I joined his school in six standards. I, your dad and Arif were best friends in school. It continued till our college life. We realized our feelings only in fifth semester of graduation. It wasn't love at first sight but it was more like a love that was born to nourish and then let it grow. Our common bonding was the compatibility that we shared. Soon my mom came to know of our relation. She came into my room one day while I was studying
-Nao, we need to talk.
-Is it true?
She wasn't wrong in her presumption of I getting her context of the question but I preferred distracting it. So I just ignored her question.
-Don't ignore my question and annoy me. You know well what I am talking about. Tell me, if it's true of what I am hearing about you and Anash?
-Come on, mamma, can we talk later? I got lots to read.
-I give a damn, now tell me the truth.
-Yes. Seeing her strictness and clarity in her eyes, I could not hide.
It was the beginning of a cold war between me and my family. They began to restrict me for everything I do. My friend circle was minimized and selected according to dad's wish. The same thing was happening with your dad too. His parents were persuading him not to see me again if he loves and values them. It wasn't that we didn't try to forget each other, belief me, honey we did harder than we could even imagine. But we could not do it.
I just could not stop loving him bcoz his way of seeking God is different from mine. All those differences for which our parents hate us melted into the ocean of love whenever we are in our world of love. Though they try to see the differences in the color of that love we both felt that it would end up in the same color. It flows in the stream of purity and kindness.
I was helpless. I just couldn't see the way my family saw and abhorred him. However, for the sake of our families, I and your dad decided to have a break in our relation. We thought with flow of time and distance we'll be able to move on in the streams our families desire. But it wasn't the way we thought.
Even after years of break, our relation was still fresh and strong. So, we decided to break every rule and get elope. It was the most memorable b'day of mine. It was on 21st September, I was turning 28th, the day I left my dad for your dad. You know what your dad said on that night holding my hands, giving me certainty of his unchangeable love for me?
-"Jen I know you are feeling terrible now, leaving your home, your world for me. Belief me, I'll never let you miss them though it's impossible for me to replace them. I'll always love you the way you are. Bcoz I love you beyond I could express in words"
To be continued ...
* Louriyam Bebica wrote this story for Hueiyen Lanpao (English Edition)
This article was posted on August 25, 2012 .
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